Thoughts?

[Bweaver1333]

We adopted out 12 yr old daughter when she was three. She was very easily angered, and would scream and kick and spit and it would take nearly and hour for her to gain control of her emotions. The things that angered her were often the loss of control she felt she needed. Ex: being told no, or losing her things, or being told to sit when she wanted to stand. SHe has always struggled with being over bossy and aggressive with people but especially peers. The social rules that we all teach our kids have never sunk in with her( saying please, looking at people in the eyes, responding to a question, being aware of space, understanding how things affect others). She was diagnosed with ADHD and school was not her friend. HOme work is a nightmare and she has been known to push a child in a wheelchair. She is disorganized and a borderline hoarder. I once found 23 bags of goldfish crackers in her book bag and don't get me started on her room. Even now she seeks things to add to her room. ( rocks, toys, balloons etc.).

Fast forward to now. SHe has no friends, the few she connects with on social media lie to her and trick her or manipulate her on a regular basis. She wants friends so bad and she's very forgiving with these friends. She seeks younger kids in a social setting. She obsesses with random things for a short period of time ( last night she cut like 40 paper masks ) She argues about everything and everything is a competition. She cannot "lose" and anything , getting in the car, getting in the bed, picking the most blueberries, having the most juice, etc) these behaviors have gotten so much more pronounced and now she has reached prepubertal. She claims to have all these friends but in reality there are none. It breaks my heart !

Any input would be appreciated!

B

[corriefan]

I presume that as you are posting here that you suspect autism/ASD might be a possibility. I have a son who has been diagnosed with ASD and I think your description could possibly be ASD. I know that girls with ASD present differently to boys so I would suggest that you read up on the subject. If you search for "autism girls" on Amazon you will find a number of books which might be a good start.

[Bweaver1333 in reply to corriefan]

Thanks for the idea- I have been reading and there is so much ! Ahhh! It has really been a long journey for us and this thought just slipped into my readings recently and I thought OMG this could be it! MAy the aspergers could be what we have been missing all along. I really have no idea where to begin ! We live in a really small town and there are no resources here locally. Any other ideas and thoughts are appreciated!

[corriefan]

Some of the most useful help I have had has been from this charity actionforaspergers.org/ as you will see they are shortly taking a break for a lot of July (its a very small charity) but you might find their website helpful.

[FXP_OK]

There's no getting away from it. You need professional help. You aren't going to have the requisite skills to help her and her long term happiness is at stake. Social skills/cues can be taught. But I would start with a psychiatric assessment.