Am I the only one who feels they need to come up with a really good reason to go into hospital? I so often will spend a long period of time thinking 'i probably need to go in - but i cant let them see me as well as this or they'll think im a wuss' kind of thing. I know that i leave it longer than i should - there are a lot more majors beds than resus beds, i usually go to resus, when surely the best time to go in is when you need to go to majors...and yet i cannot get my head round that! I feel the need to apologise, minimise symptoms, shrug off pain/nausea etc and justify why i came in, even if theyre not in any way implying i shouldnt have come - in fact usually they're complaining i left it too late. I also know in myself that they're a lot more sympathetic and kind if you are more unwell and as I am pretty phobic and stressed by docs and the whoe A&E environment - the idea of them telling me off for being there is overwhelming - thus the appeal of being undeniably ill.
I have a similar thing with 999. I know that i shouldnt drive in when i do decide to go - it would be incredibly irresponsible - i wouldnt like to think of being on the roads with people in the state im in when i go. I'm also a poor student (*sob* *sniff*) and dont usually have much cash on me to get to A&E in a taxi, so if im on my own im pretty stuck as to how to get there. again - i know that if any of my mates were that ill, id not question that they needed and ambulance and blue lights and sirens - yet because im ill so often i feel like i should be able to cope better with it. does that make sense??
being at uni - the main way i justify the whole thing is by the number of drunk or hungover students get an ambulance to A&E and stay there for a good few hours...but that doesnt really help much. does anyone else think like this - or have any thoughts as to how to convince my brain im doing the right thing???