feeling miserable and fed up!!

Hi

My asthma has been to say the least difficult over the last year with numerous admissions etc, i have not been of pred since june of last year and am never below 30mg. i recently did the RBH difficult asthma protocal and am due to go back at the end of June for some more tests

recently i have had three admissions and two of them requiring CCU intervention, the most recent started as a cold and then went to saw respiratory nurse on the tuesday where to say the least she was quite cross saying that i was ignoring warning signs and leaving it to long before going to hospital, well to be honest i didnt feel that bad and just thought a course of antibiotics was on the cards anyway was finally discharged on monday and although am much better that i was and kind of back to the normal symptons that i have had continuasly, does anyway one else feel that they can not allways judge how bad things are getting?

since being discharged i have lost all my energy, i know you have to give it time but i am never very patient and feel that this is taking over my life. the fact i was also admitted to CCU and everyone look so terrified is really playing on my mind as well, i dont know why but it has really made me think how bad things were!

i have spoken to nurse at hospital today who is very supportive and a real life line but i feel like i am driving her crazy as it seems to be a continuous fight to keep things under control, i hate having to contact her because i get the feeling she is frustrated by whole situation.

well today it has all come to a head and have just sat and burst into tears for no reason, i am so fed up with this taking over so much of my life, i am tired where i dont sleep well, due to coughing etc, i feel like i am becoming a complete nuisance and always at doctors or hospital etc, i feel like i am having to rely on others all the time, i am trying to hold down a full time job but my sickness record is appauling, people say that i should give up work but i am determined not to, i just dont know what to do anymore to help things.

i am sorry that this is so depressing to read but i just needed to write it down, i am not expecting any replys and i am sure things will pick up soon, they definetly cant get any worse!! i am flying to Turkey on tuesday and am hoping the rest will be what i need.

thankyou for reading this and if anyone has any advice i would be grateful, i think i need somone toslap me around the face and tell me to pull my socks up and get on with it, i do know there are people out there much worse of than me!!

thanks

sarah

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Just wanted to say I'm sending you a massive hug. It's horrible... I know exactly how you feel. I too don't realise how bad I get, or go down very quickly. I've been told neumerous times that I don't go in to hospital quick enough, and how can I not tell? I too am exhausted after my recent admission (only got out on tuesday) and have sat 4 a-level exams in the last two days, and all I intend to do now is sleep.

*hugs* ally x

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Hi sarah sending you hugs, it is hard to tell when you should go in. If you get the point you are saying should i shouldnt i just go, they are happy to see a well patient, esp when someone is asthmatic!

Be careful about working, i learnt the hard way, did too much and ended up in hospital for 5 weeks?!

You can message me at any point, just to chat or whatever.

Plumie

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I know the feeling!

Since febuary this year I have been to my GP , also to hospital with phials of ""samples"" , at week ends had to go to our out of hours doctor to go on nebuliser had xrays . usually perscribed from doctor a course of antibiotics twice a month as a weekly course does'nt work total 10 courses of antibiotic + 4 courses of steriods. and last week went for a chest xray. this morning a telephone call hurrah ! appointment to see resparitary consultant .......wait for it Saturday 27th june. they have put extra clinics in. my GP wrote to them in March for a appointment. But until then I expect another visit to GP will be on my calender.

So with all that and after 20yrs of making ""show costumes"" for local companies I have to give that up because of the""fibres"" in the material, What next ?? Well I am now making my own ""birthday cards"" etc . and really enjoying this. so why not try something else to cheer your self up plenty of ""crafty ""web site's. so when you can't get to sleep make a few cards and hopefully take you mind off problems.

you will make plenty of frends including me if you want to chat , I may be a wheezy O.A.P. Any thing helps you are not on you own. chin up (its chin's with me! ) Love to hear from you.

Pat x

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THANK YOU

Thankyou all of your for lovely reply, they have made me feel so much better and not so alone with it to deal with.

Bex i am due into RBH on the 29th June so fingers crossed it is at the same time would be lovely to meet!!

Thankyou once again

sarah

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lots of hugs!

don't give up your dreams Sarah, but dooooo listen to your body more! I feel guilty all the time if I'm exhausted mentally/physically or know I'm getting bad so much so that I just let it go out of control because I don't want to 'put anyone out'... then I have to remember that my family and friends love me and that I gotta just speak out. It's so hard though... My emotions are all over the place because of Pred and I'm suffering from that self-pity state of 'no-one knows what I feel like inside', had the tears this evening and now I'm going to watch Katie and Peter Stateside, because when I watch that I'm gonna know instantly that I got it better haha

I hope you feel a bit better - everyones so lovely on these forums... all seeing all knowing all understanding support

Nicci

x

[KateMoss]

Hello Sarah,

Sorry you are having a bad time at the mo.... I think all of us severe / brittle asthmatics get to the stage where it starts to rule our lives and interferes with daily life!

Sometimes with a slow deterioration it is dificult to judge how bad we are getting and by the time we realise, or someone else points out, we are quite unwell.

I have had moments when I burst into tears, often aided by tiredness, pred and sometimes PMT!

I know it is hard but perhaps consider working part time for a bit? Just so you can get your health back on track? Don't think of it as failing by lightening the work load, think of it as a means to get more control otherwise you could end up in a vicious circle of work - hospital... etc. (Just my thoughts...........)

Anyway, I hope you can get to Turkey and enjoy it!

Take care

Kate

xxx