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confessions of a hospital ward ...

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just seen a post about people not getting any rest in hospital and know im not the only one who will have seen or done daft things when admitted so ....

i once had an elderly man try to get in bed with me as he thought i was at home with his wife. he spent the rest of my stay standing at the door of the side room trying to get in with the nurses trying to stop him.

i was told by a different patient that an elderly woman had tucked me up in bed when i was asleep and sat with me for ages - bit creepy but i know she was confused.

i once had a couple of old old women complain every time i coughed as they couldnt get any rest (and yes i was admitted due to my asthma!).

i had a domestic, auxilary and a nurse tell me that tuna fishcakes were veggie!

i had a nurse tell a relative that i had had a great night sleep and had been fine all night, when in fact i had coughed all night, struggling with asthma attacks, had loads of medication and had not slept a wink.

one of the first times i was admitted i spent the nights in a 'world of pantomine'. the woman opposite was very confused and was certain that the nurses were stealing things (even though she was actually wearing one of the other patients nightdressess that she had taken out of her bad!). she thought that they had stolen her locker (which i hasten to add was screwed to the wall)- so i spent the night saying 'its behind you'.

on the whole i think you have to keep a sense of humour when in hospital and take plenty of reading material as sleep will always be non-existant or only done in cat naps.

if i took a bit of time i could prob come up with loads of other things but has anyone else had this happen?

30 Replies

the night one of the elderly gents took to escaping, every two or three hours, butt naked, was a fun one. it was like a benny hill sketch with all the nurses chasing after him down the coridoor!

or the old woman who was convinced i should be on a peadiatric ward and kept telling the nurses so, even though i was 26 at the time!!

on a less entertaining note, the nurse who refused me a nebuliser at 4am when i was getting desperate because ""i haven't been told you're allowed one"" - it was in my notes as ""as much as required.""

or the time when a period suddenly appeared, and the nurses had no supplies at all (apprarently, policy, except on gynae wards) so had to have an old woman nappy until my fiance could bring me some supplies.

or when i got transferred from MAU to a normal ward, before MAU's tea but after the normal ward's tea, and the nurses didn't have time to make me toast until 5 hours later, by which point i was beyond starving...

oh, the joys of COSTA!!

I had a woman opposite me who kept having nightmares and shouting 'fire' 'fire' in the middle of the night !!!! Was quite scary. Also had a confused woman who tried to light a cigarette whilst on oxygen. Oh, and yes, nurses always say I've had a good night! I've never had a 'good' night in hospital ever !!!!! When I was in HDU last time they told my hubby on the phone that I was fine !!!! Of course I was!! Surely if I was fine I wouldn't have been in HDU !! This confused hubby somewhat !!!

angievere profile image
angievere

Oh yes, definitely need a sense of humour to be on a hospital ward. One of my favourites was nurses waking me up in the night to ask if I wanted a sleeping tablet.

One time, actually one of my first stays on an adult ward an old lady kept throwing a stuffed toy bird at me...

I have been attacked by another old lady who wanted my orange...she kept threatening me with her stick. She could have had my orange if I had of had one.

Have been let out in the middle of the night with an escort to watch a huge thunder storm roling in over the south downs, that was amazing and I am so greatful for the understanding staff that let me do that.

Watched price drop TV with a crazy but lovely nursing auxillary as she was desperate to get a pink leather handbag.

Had an illegal immigrant arrested and taken away infront of patients and other staff.

Have had a lovely, lovely nurse say to me on a particularly rough night if the asthma does not kill you I might well do...she was only joking and I had scared her 5 days earlier by stopping breathing on the ward and needing transfering to ITU. It was her third shift as a qualified nurse. She know looks after me on most admissions.

Having a conversation with one of the resp consultants about why he cut of my bra...I was supposed to be ventilated at the time but could quote back the conversation he had with nurses word for word when I was woken up. I was also as mad as cheese at him - the bra was expensive!

being told that smoked mackerel was definately not fish - so I couldn't be allergic to it.

so many thungs

Ive had:

-Was in a Isolated bay so no one would come in, old lady would scream that there was a dog

-Old lady pee right by my bed as she thought was the commode

-Old lady get into bed with me

-Plenty of flashing old men

-food thrown at me

- Given someone elses medication (I noticed they were different)

-Millions of times lied in notes saying patient slept well, well did you ask me and did you see me nebbing during the night (nurses just leave me some)

-told doc's are coming to see me and never appear

-Not recieved any food as couldnt find menu (until I asked)

-Told it was dairy free when it was cheese omlett

-Farting Bipap's

hmmm... where to start lol

1. slept all night, no complaints written in notes - of course not - except, needing pain relief, nebs and coughing all night!!

2. wrote sats of 97 on obs chart when only 91 ???? i did complain obviously!!

3. given someone else's tablets

4. given urine pot with someone else's name on it

5. overdosed on medication :S

6. flashing men , of course - not exactly good looking either! lol

....

When i was in hospital a week had to go back in again few days later. I went the toilet in the night and went back to the bed i was in before by mistake and tried get in bed with another lady ! Drat ! No men !!!

having your brother with adhd come and visit while your in unless you what a hypo comedian shouting stuff he finds funny out in the middle of the ward

Asthma-girl profile image
Asthma-girl

When I was in hospital an old lady kept me awake all night because she buzzing for a nurse every 20 or 30 minutes then she got out of bed and came over to me and asked are you asleep, (of course I was not asleep) then when the old lady did eventually go back to her bed encouraged by a nurse then when she fell asleep she sounded like Darth Vader.

Oh, the joys of being in costa.

cannot stop laughing. all comments so totally familiar. i was once documented as a john doe as airlifted andtaken straight to itu. fair enough if i was a man!! surely the medics could work out i was a jane!! chell.xx

Oh yes, elderly patients asking me to do stuff for them coz I'm young, despite the fact that I have a drip in each arm, oxygen on and a catheter in. Yep, might look young but for the first few days I'm far less mobile than alot of the older patients !!!! Have to laugh !!!!! Some of them get really annoyed when I offer to press my buzzer to get someone for them as I can't help them myself!! Maybe u should heave my 2 drip stands and oxygen over to their side of the room and pick up a magazine for them !!!!

I was recently in hospital visiting a relative. In that short amount of time I saw one patient do a runner. He literally just walked out. A woman who I heard had a blood clot tell the staff that she was going outside for a cigarette and then witnessed a porter guy tip this poor old lady out of a wheelchair. Thankfully her family caught her before she fell to the floor. I was a bit shocked!

* Couldn't-care-less-auxilliary and her mate came in to tidy up the ward. Basically swept an arm across my table and locker depositing everything into a black bin bag. Including my unread Glasgow Herald and a cross-stitch my daughter had brought in to stop me being bored.

* Wee lass of about 30, peeking scarily just over the edge of the sheets at us all and asking that her knitting be brought in - doubly scary when we learned why - lass was in-patient at mental hospital but the general hospital had no meds for her until 24 hours after she was brought in with fractured thigh bone. When an episode was about to kick off, doing her knitting helped keep her focussed until the worst was over. PS Both hospitals shared the same ground, so surely some member of staff could've just walked between them and got meds and knitting.

* Old lady peeing on the floor as couldnt find the toilet.

* Patients having to use toilet in another ward cos an old lady had the runs and even when made it to the loo, it went everywhere.

* Nice lady, who looked as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, coming out with the most awful and (before you ask) totally unrepeatable dirty jokes.

Never been as an in-patient myself (touch wood) but my mum recently had an operation in Italy (where she lives).

She was sharing a room with a woman whose entire extended family descended at visiting time, with food, and proceeded to discuss their relative's symptoms, what happened during the operation and what the surgeon had said in great detail.

My mum said they were lovely though and always asked how she was doing and offered her whatever food they'd brought (which she appreciated since apparently the hospital food was absolutely awful).

The room was near the obstetrics ward so apparently bit hard to sleep since frequent new arrivals in the middle of the night!

It has been a few years since I've been in hospital but have been asked if I remembered Queen Victoria by another patient when I was 13 (over 30 years ago now). On another occasion when I successfully escaped from ITU to a respiratory ward, kept awake all night by another elderly lady telling everyone on the ward that she couldn't breathe and no one else knew what that was like! Luckily most of the nursing staff I met were very good apart from one who didn't believe Asthma could be serious and insisted on opening the windows because fresh air is good for you if you are supposed to Asthma. I won't tell you the comments passed by other patients!

reading the messages is like you have all been on the same wards as me lo. LoobyLoobyLoo -i have had people ask me loads to do stuff for them when ive been quite ill, mask on, drips attached etc and on the whole ive always done stuff. this is due to the fact that i have relatives who are nurses and know what the good nurses do and if i can prevent them from having to stop doing something important to say for example pass an elderly patient a drink when their table has been moved too far away for them to reach. this has however stopped on my last admission as i got totally fed up with helping someone do stuff when i realised she was more capable than i was- so i just pressed mu buzzer when she asked and oh she wasnt happy. i also once had a woman who i thought was senile but not-pull down her knickers and try to pee on the end of my bed. the nurses just stopped her in time with me sitting in the bed gob smacked lol. and omg the old men- why do they walk around as if they are at home with just boxers on scratching their bits while standing at the female bay doors lol. when i once complained that i wasnt happy about being in a mixed bay i was told by a rather horrible stuck up nurse that i should be thankful as id mentioned id been single for ages lol. seriously i know hospitals are busy and the nurses do on the whole a grand job-give or take one or two, but honestly as posted below sometimes it is like being in one constant benny hill sketch - i hate hospitals and do anything to avoid them, not that it would look like this as im constantly at some appointment or other but to avoid overnight stays i would dance with the devil lol xxx

:D Parts of this thread should come with a health warning - may induce lack of breathing through laughing!

I've had a good mixture of these:

- Old woman who insisted I'd stolen £3000 from her, at first I found it funny but she got really nasty and threatened me with her walking stick :S

- Horrible nurse who refused neb when I was written up for them and told me I just needed to breath - huh, yeah....

- Transferring from ITU to the main ward when paralysed down one side nurse said 'can't you just get up and walk down the ward to your bed?' That would be a no. Worked hard on getting the use of my left side back so I could accidentally trip her up. :D

- Woman in bed next to me constantly complaining that I was being too noisy being sick and keeping her awake. When I wasn't being sick, the neb was too noisy. And she could hear the oxygen. Me thinks this is one I wouldn't win.

I'm afraid I have to 'fess up to being someone who's scared others with my nightmares - apparently I was shouting the whole ward down before the nurses managed to wake me up and shut me up - oops!!

Thought of another ! Had a woman complaining endlessly about my humidified oxygen being too noisy. She went on & on about it! I know it's a bit noisy but I actually like it when other people have it as it cuts out alot of the background noise! Anyway that was annoying cozI hadn't asked to be put on it. I was like 'what do you expect me to do??!!!'

Oh, another one... My O2 sats are usually ok even when I'm really struggling but my carbon dioxide goes really high which is apparently a bad sign. Usually they use a finger probe & tell me I'm fine coz my sats are 98%. then a bit later they do a blood gas. All of a sudden they then start running about very quickly giving me IVs and stuff. Nurses who had been ignoring me suddenly seem very concerned and doctors appear as if from nowhere !!!! It's sooooo funny coz they do it every time. I'm like 'yep, I told u I wasn't well!' be easier if they just believed me in the first place. !!!!!

once i was in hospital and i was in a&e and this doctor felt my stomach and said well its your appendix or your pregnant so he made me do a pregnancy test even though me and my mum told him it would be a gift from god as how can you get pregnant with out the technicalitys of it all. I do the test it comes back negative and the doctor still thought i was pregnant by which point a was in so much pain that i was very snappy and hurting. A second dr came and said it was my appendix 6 hours after going there

I have to confess to being other patients and nurses worse nightmare as I sleep walk which is not good when in hospital. I go on long walks, climb out of windows and climb walls just to name a few of my party tricks when asleep.

Ive had it that the woman next to me it fitting, Im not doing well so back to back nebs and checking on and the old woman with us been screaming out that shes on the floor just to get the nurse over to give her a drink when she was capable to reaching it.

Also been moaned at for having laptop on (during the day) as gave a patient head ache and at night as was keeping her awake (always have headphones one)

Have a woman that moans if her feed isnt up by 9pm as it is at home despite night nurses being in the middle of hand over at that time still expects it to be done straight away

There has been many times that have helped old dears wheezing and all, dragging drips as the nurses wouldnt. Even once after having appendix out walked old lad to toilet as nurse sat and watched me as she had enough of doing it all shift. I couldnt walk in a striaght line even

i will share these, though very embarrassing lol - i once had the nurses come and ask me if i was ok as i had been in the loo so long during the night. yep i replied im fine just got a dodgy stomach (thats what hospital food does as i never manage to ahem 'go' properly when on the wards lol) after another 20 mins she knocked again and said maybe i should think about letting them in or seeing the doctor-god i blushed.

another one embarrassing for me was when i was in casualty and had just had an xray done in the cubicle, id been left alone and couldnt get my bra fastened.at home my daughter helps as i have arthritis in my fingers and in my kneck and back so i cant reach round but wanted to try to do it as the male doc was due back. saw a female nurse walk passed, seemed ok asked if she could give me a hand- yep of course- she then helped me and then said she wasnt even on duty and was on her way home -omg very embarrassing lol. have loads more of these but maybe too daft even for here xxx

i was in wed night,, woman who kept nearly full ward awake all night, stuck her head round curtain to tell me to shut up coughing.. understandable, if she hadnt kept everyone up till about 3-4am :|

angievere profile image
angievere

EmmaOx, I've had that too, it's very annoying! Was just dozing off to sleep behind closed curtains, with a right racket going on in the ward, when nurse shook me awake saying my snoring was annoying other patients. I couldnt believe it.

Another time I was on a ward where one lady snored most horribly, I can still hear her in my head now, 14 yrs on. Nurses just shrugged it off but I couldnt sleep at all. They gave me cotton wool for my ears in the end, but it made me feel ill.

When I last got admitted they put on one of those matresses that feels like a water bed & moves. I dreamt all night I was on board a ship moving from side to side! It was such a weird sensation!

S.Mama

When DD in hospital after having her baby, we noticed the wee one slept through the racket made by the other newborns. On the one occasion GS woke up crying, the mum of the noisiest baby came across and complained.

once had a woman who undressed, all including her nappy, threw the covers off, and lay there calling for the nurse (not, of course, pressing the button...). then when my brother and sister came, we sat and talked in whispers. when the nurse came in, she said ""i'm not feeling well"" ""why not?"" ""her visitors..."" ""yes, well we can't throw other peoples visitors out...""

then i had a woman, who....well, i had a game of ""dr maboul"" (in french, not sure what the name is in english?) and every time the beep went off, she would pick up her phone and say ""hello...hello..."" so i had to keep explaining to her that it was the game, but she never seemes to get it...

forgot to say...

also had a man who came in to my room strapped to his armchair, because he kept trying to go to other people's room, and all this wearing nothing but a nappy, of course..

I once had an old lady in the same ward as me, whp was lovely, but also demented. She got a bit tiresome so the nurses pulled the curtains round my bed to give me some peace. A couple of new patients were taken into the room, and this sweet old lady went on to tell the new ladies that I was dead behind the curtains! The ladies got quite a shock when the curtains were opened and saw that i was still alive and breathing!

I have had also an elderly man get into bed with me. A consultant told that I had a good night and until I informed him, that a crash call had been put out because they thought I was going to go into respiratory arrest the previous night (hate to think what a bad night would have been). Spent several hours my fingers on certain buttons to keep the patients drip in the bed next to me going until they got into theater because 1: Being a regular patient I knew out they worked 2: They were short staffed and couldn't keep coming back and forth to the patient to start the flo guard all the time 3: There weren't any fully functioning Flo guards available to replace this one that wasn't working properly. Saw another elderly male patient trying to light a ciggy under the bed clothes, the nursing staff tried to stop him, partly out of safety to him self, but also the other patients around him who were on O2, they were unsuccessful, he leap out of bed with only his PJ top on and went tearing down the ward with his ciggy and matches. And finally watched two women (one wheelchair bound) scrapping over a ciggy. The joys of being a patient on a regular basis. Oh and I nearly forget (wish I could) the amount old dears who insist on flashing their bottoms to the rest of the world when wanting a wee in the middle of the night and use a commode before a nurse realises and rushes in and closes the curtains.

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