I'm just scared.

[fursdon]

I am a father of three. The oldest being 16 and the youngest 11, three months ago my wife was diagnosed with Copd. i worry as i don't know the who what why and when of it. My wife does not want to talk about it, and manages it that way, but for me i am just plain scared.

[peege]

oh dear, poor you. 3 months is a short time for you and your wife to get your heads around it.

Having young children too, I wonder if you're wife's also terrified for the future too and possibly depressed? I think I would be. It's hard enough with older children who've left home.

Call the helpline, everyone here says they are marvellous.

BTW do any of you smoke in the home???? If so, try to stop.

I think that most of my chest problems have been excarbated by passive smoking as a child.

We're all different that's a given.

[Hidden]

Hi Fursdon comment above has it the number is 03000 030 555. Te most important thing is stop smoking.

There is lots of help and support on this site from a friendly and knowledgeable group of fellow sufferers who understand.

Good luck,

Chris

[MrsShimmy]

its important to talk as much as you can, I'm in a similar situation...but the other way round as I'm the one who is ill, my hubby and i were too scared to talk about it at the begining but we are getting better at it...we need to make plans for our family. It can take some time to feel ready to process the information and this won't be helped if your missus is feeling poorly at the moment too. One of the first things we did was have a family meeting...we discussed practical things like sweeping and hoovering the dog hair regularly and sharing the shopping/cooking chores, this helped the boys (16,13 and 11 at the time) feel part of what was happening to the family, sometimes starting witht he practicalities makes it easier to talk about the emotional stuff

godbless,

Mrs S x

[Marigold2]

furston in my opinion the worst thing anyone can do, when being confronted with news about the 'dreaded COPD' is to panic, be anxious or depressed. This only makes the condition 100 times worse. I speak from experience. I was told 8 years ago that my lungs were so damaged that there was only about 15% left. Only 4 weeks before that news I had been holding down a full time job. I am still here . I helped with a campaign in the Northeast of England last year to highlight the problems smoking can cause.

I am not good at posting links but try putting FreshSFNE on U Tube, I am Margaret Storey.

Failing that please do not spend your life being sad. COPD is a dreadful illness, but there are so many levels and you can live a brilliant life even if you are right on the 'bottom' level. I do and I am.??

[Sylvsmum]

COPD is a relatively recent diagnosis - I've had what was called asthma since I was 5, and COPD is just the same, just chronic and perhaps a bit more severe. Would you be scared if she was told she had asthma? Probably not, so think of it as asthma. Read as much as you can about COPD (there is loads of stuff on the internet) and try to talk to your asthma nurse, both of you together.

[Jo_BLFHelpline British Lung Foundation]

Hi fursdon

Welcome to the forum.

It can be very difficult coming to terms with a diagnosis whether you are the patient or a loved one.

It can take time, often if people have smoked and they are then diagnosed with COPD they can feel guilty - this is natural.

Also being diagnosed with a condition when you have young children can be difficult to cope with.

It is often said that coming to terms with a chronic health condition is like the grief process - different stages we go through to eventually enable us to accept and deal with the situation. Your wife may well be in denial of the problem (which is perfectly understandable) or she may be angry - this is OK too, for you aswell.

We have different ways we can help - emotional support/counselling over the phone, medical advice and information and practical financial and day to day advice.

We also produce an excellent COPD pack which has useful information about the condition - free of charge.

Please feel free to call us on 03000 030 555 10am -6pm Mon - Fri.

Best Wishes

Jo

[Lynne1955]

Fursdon,you will find support on here, and hopefully so will your wife, in time.

COPD is not a death sentence by any means. She needs to understand that herself. Ring the BLF, they are wonderful, and tell us more here. What have the Doctors said, does she know what the readings are, does she still smoke?

Neither of you will EVER be judged on here, we are all in the same boat albeit in varying degrees.

Lynne xx

[fursdon]

Thank you for all your responses both me and my wife smoked she far less than me and she gave up ten years ago and me about three. I struggle with it now. i have gotten help and hope here from reading the blogs (last two months) and eventually posting.

[terrzy]

i have had copd [emphasimia and asbestosis] 12 years. i am now under the hospice nurse[brilliant] but im still here take on board what the proffesionals advise,and take your medicane as advised.you can still live a good life but everything takes a little longer.BUTyou must adjust.