Hi, I am just coming to terms with my partner's diagnosis, and want to know what I can do to help him. I think we have both been in denial.

[copdpartner]

He has had COPD diagnosis for a few years but lately is finding it difficult to walk uphill/ upstairs, and has insomnia. He also has arthritis. I want to find a way of talking to him more openly about it, without being negative about his prognosis.

[kimmy59]

Hello

I only joined the forum after being diagnosed this year, I was terrified and really depressed. But everyone on here are great and gave me hope, I'm now exercising every day and doing anything I can to stay well, I'm not an expert so speakng to someone at the helpline would be my advice. Good luck

Kimmy

[copdpartner in reply to kimmy59]

Thank you Kimmy,

I'll give them a call.

[Hidden]

hi the following link may offer some guidance.

bupa.co.uk/individuals/heal...

[copdpartner]

Thank you I'll have a look.

[Hidden]

Hi copdpartner. In my opinion the 2 most important things are staying away from cigarette smoke and taking exercise. Try ringing the BLF helpline and a nurse will be able to speak to you about things more specifically. Good luck.

[copdpartner in reply to Hidden]

We both stopped smoking about ten years ago, as he had a wheezy chest and I was worried about it. Then, last year, I started again. Feeling guilty, and trying very hard to keep stopped now.

He does loads of exercise. He's a gardener + we have an allotment.

I'm still very worried, as he is doing all the right things.

[RichardAT]

Hi, and welcome to the community. It is quite common to be in denial to some extent with COPD and in fact any chronic condition, there is a range of feelings and emotions that most people have to varying degrees. For specific advice contact the BLF team as they can supply leaflets and DVDs regarding the condition, the members of this community can also provide answers to your questions as we all have a wide variety of different experiences with it. If nothing else, it gives you support and someone to ' chat. ' with. Take care, Richard

[Hidden]

Can't offer any more than that but no matter how you are feeling we are here for you and each other. x

[tanyamarie]

Hi, my dad has COPD and IPF and I can empathise with you wholeheartedly. It is hard watching someone you love be ill and sometimes you just don't know what to say. But my mum and dad have many heart to hearts and it has brought them so much closer, it is lovely to see. There are things my mum will talk to me about rather than dad as we want to be so optimistic for him but we must be realistic too. My dad accepts his condition and never complains, he is a true inspiration to me and for us as a family, the important thing is being together as much as possible and making dad as comfortable as possible in a way that isn't too obvious. It is important for him that he remains as independant as possible and that we are careful that we don't mollycoddle him too much if you know what I mean. I hope things work out for you both x

[amagran in reply to tanyamarie]

you can always say exactly what i want to, so in this case I will just add, DITTO. XX

[tanyamarie in reply to amagran]

Had a tough day today but you made me smile so thanks amagran xxxx

[copdpartner in reply to tanyamarie]

We talked last night, after I posted. It really helped me to get started talking. We can talk about how he might die, but I can't bring myself to talk about if he might have a more limited life, and he hasn't said anything about the possibility of being disabled. He loves his work as a gardener, and our allotment together. He's a very stoical person, but I don't know how he will take it if in future he can't get outside much. I don't think I should say anything to him about it. I don't think he could contemplate it.

[Vicky_BLFHelpline]

Hi

I am sorry to hear about your partner. The BLF helpline have a counsellor, and it may be beneficial for you to talk this through before you have the discussion. The number to call is 03000 030 555.

Hope this helps

Regards

Vicky

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I WAS DIAGNOSED IN JUNE , HAD A LOAD OF OTHER PROBLEMS ALSO , I WAS TERRIFIED TO BE HONEST , BUT JOINED , HERE, FOUND SO MUCH POSITIVITY, FOLKS ARE TRULY GREAT , I ALSO HAVE A ARTIFICIAL HIP, BUT I AM LOSING WEIGHT , [CUT OUT FATS] EXERCISE LYING DOWN ON THE BED , GET HUBBY TO JOIN HERE , FANTASTIC SUPPORT , LOVE JUDE