Empty Nest

That's it then. It's 5.30 am and I've just waved my daughter off to uni. For the first time since 1975 it's just me. My tiny bungalow suddenly so huge and so empty. What do we do when there's no one to look after any more? I am lost.

[valm]

Bet you are lost plus mixed emotions this morning scary stuff, you will have to concentrate on other stuff now find a new hobby? If it was my Leanne don't know what I would be thinking right at this minute rattling around by myself in the house we are all here for you P keep blogging let us know how your getting on keep smiling bet you miss her, you love her loads isn't life hard at times xxx

[amagran]

if you waved your daughter off and she is happily going then pat yourself on the back, you have done a good job, a parents job is to bring up their child to be happily independant and strong. Now it's your turn to have some me time. please know we are here for you whether it be a shoulder to cry on or a lifeline to the world and to share your thoughts and feelings with. You must never feel alone as long as we are here. your blogwill be looked for, blog daily and tell us what you have been up to, whether its shopping or sitting. take care. xx

[pollyjj in reply to amagran]

Amagram, thats exactly what I would have liked to have said. I just dont have the words. I echo your thoughts.

polly

[Hidden]

We love them and care for them, hope they grow to be responsible independent people and then wave them off. But they do tend to bounce back. My experience is that children are like yoyos. They go out into the world but like to know they can still touch base where they are loved and looked after. Meanwhile, while the mice are away............go cat!!!

[Beehappy in reply to Hidden]

As parents we will never know peace, they are a lifetime work and would we have it any other way, hold on things go so much faster in their world. Always enjoy reading the blogs do keep them coming, you are not alone when you have friends here.

[alanjudy]

Don't worry they come back, our youngest is living at home again as she is doing another uni course - locally this time. They ring you or text you with strange requests or comments. Said youngest daughter once rang me from Leeds to ask me how the washing machine in her new accommodation worked!!! My niece texted my sister last Thursday at 3.30am to say she was home safely. My niece has just started uni in London!

Enjoy the peace, the fact that everything is in the same place unless you've moved it and you won't find the fridge had been raided.

Judith

[castle]

Oh Parvati I do feel for you. Two of my boys joined the armed forces and I thought my heart would break, but it didn't I grew to accept they were doing something they wanted to do and were happy. They do come home and oh dear now thats a whole new ball game Just as you 've nicely settled into a home and routine without kids, they descend, empty your fridge, bring piles of washing and ironing and expect you to cook, clean and fall over yourself to be happy to see them Which of course you are LOL

[hufferpuffer]

Parvati, please dont be too sad,I think amagran has said what we all agree with, your daughter will miss you too but she wont worry about you so much if she knows you are keeping yourself busy! Take one day at a time and spend time having some fun! Carol x

[Hidden]

Me too!! I have just waved off my son this weekend and although I still have two more children at home - the empty feeling is horrendous. I didn't think I would feel so physically ill but I do. I know he has to and it is the start of his adult life ......and I wouldn't want it any other way but dear me how sad I feel! My mother tells me that it does pass but you have to be kind to yourself and take it slowly. Just one day at a time. Good luck TAD xx

[dogcyrus]

Dear Parvarti, I lost my wife just a couple of months ago after caring for her for five years due to her illnes. Now, as you have said, the house feels empty. Soon after her passing I found so much time on my hands and didnt quite know what to due. As has been suggested above, I took up a hobby and set a routine for my daily activities. The routine helped tremendously - also set up an additional exercise programme for my breathing as I had time now. In the first instance it took my mind off the 'missing' thoughts. Think of the positives - easlity said than done but it helps. Joined a Breathe Easy group also helpful. Give yourself applause, a pat on the back will do, for helping your daughter to reach this wonderful and new chapter in her life. Dogcyrus xXx

[Hidden]

I know exactly how you feel, when our eldest son left home at 24 years of age to live with his girlfriend, I used to sit in his bedroom, now empty of all his things, and cry. I still had my youngest son at home but there was always someone missing. Then our youngest son left home two years later and that finished me off completely. The house was so big and empty, I used to go to work and come home to a empty house as my husband worked long hours, and there was no big meals to cook, or washing to do.

I started to feel more like myself by the following summer and loved our easier life, then my son split from his girlfriend and came home, what a difference, then lo and behold my other son came home. They lived with us for ages and it drove me mad, girlfriends coming and going, I felt like sticking a Red light outside the house.

So get yourself a hobby and go on holidays with friends, enjoy your new found freedom, she has not left the country, she has only gone to university and will always come home to see you, start living your new life, you never know, just when you thought 'I love my quiet life' she will be back home.

[Maximonkey]

Hi Pavarti, Iam so sorry, I remember this feeling so well. Before both my daughters left home for uni, my husband told me to get used to the fact that they had left as they would not be back. I thought he was terribly tough, but he was right. I spent time telling myself that I could feel sad but I must build a life with my husband and friends again. In time it worked. (Oh one daughter did come back and the other settle 45 mins away), so I did not lose them completely. Good luck. find some hobbies, old and new and you will make more friends. take care Maximonkey

[Hidden]

Thank you all for your kind comments. I am feeling much better today - i think the actual saying good bye was the worst bit. It didn't hit me so bad when my eldest went as my husband was still alive, so I didn't feel alone and we could worry together.

When my husband died my daughter was just starting school so she kept me busy. I used to tell her that when she grew up and left I would travel the world - unfortunately I don't have the cash or the health to do much of that! Anyhow, being of independent disposition, I have pulled myself together and hatched a few vague plans for the coming year I will certainly keep you all updated with reports of any adventures and exploits as and when they happen.

Hope you are all well - I understand the torrents and gales we had yesterday have now travelled northwards - hang onto your hats folks! love to you all, Px

[Hidden]

Hello, I haven't seen you post for a while and was just wondering how you are coping? Hope that it is easier and your daughter has settled at uni. Take care TAD xx