There were two moments last Monday, worth re-telling, where I saw and spoke with two elderly male patients. They were in adjoining beds , in the same bay, but the experiences were quite different.
First was John in bed 14. He lay very still and rather forlorn. I introduced myself and began to initiate a conversation. But it was hard work. John was mumbling a bit and I couldn’t really hear the few words he said. I wasn’t even sure he could hear me. I tried again but there was no real communion between us. (None that I perceived anyway.) So I moved to bed 15.
As I approached the bed, so the patient (Charlie) looked at me intently and said, “You don’t recognise me, do you?” I was thinking whether I had seen him the week before or even earlier, but I had no recollection of him. I said “I’m sorry Charlie, but I think I’ve forgotten how we met. Please tell me.”
Charlie replied, “We played football together in the same team!” I said, “Can you remember what position I played” and he came straight back at me, “Centre half”. Well I had never played centre half in my life, but I asked him whether I was good in the air. “Oh yes” he said, “You were good.” He told me the name of our team and that we played in Gospel Oak, north London and that there was one match where we had lost 8 -2.
I asked if Charlie liked music. Were there any songs or singers that he liked. Charlie said he loved Doris Day as he could hear her every word. So, I looked up my Doris Day on my Spotify App and played “Que Sera, Sera” on my Bluetooth speaker. Charlie was loving it, singing along with lines he could remember. I also played “Dream a Little Dream with Me” also by Doris Day.
Charlie asked about the welfare of the other three patients on the bay. Although the curtain was drawn between him and John in bed 14, so he would nonetheless call across and ask him if he was OK. He really was a lovely chap.
There was a girl shadowing me last Monday. Ordinarily she would have been on the Maternity Ward but was summoned to go round with me. Whilst I was talking to Charlie in bed 15, I noticed she had gone to speak with John in bed 14. What surprised me was that she stayed chatting for five to ten minutes. I was very impressed with her perseverance. After we had finished the rounds, I complimented her on staying with it and getting a conversation with him. She answered me saying she hadn’t understood anything John had said!
I guess she had matched his gestures and said yes or no and kind of played it by ear. One thing; she never gave up on the guy like I had. Lesson learnt. Sometimes you just need to stay with a patient, watching over them. To show you care.
While I was in hospital recently a lovely volunteer asked me if I was up for a chat. I told him that I was really sorry but I felt ghastly and just wanted to sleep. He seemed fine about it, but I did feel a bit rude especially as he (and you) had given up his free time for someone so ungrateful!! The work you do as a volunteer is amazing! Thank you xx
