My sister lives abroad and comes over to the UK each year for our summer months.
Last year with all that was going on only stayed 4/5wks in case Barbados put the UK on their no entry list etc.
I was fine meeting her at our favourite restaurants for Sunday lunch and/or even additional mid week, as because it was August and good weather mainly eat outside.
This year has been so different. The additional shielding time has made me extremely nervous to eat indoors at all.
We’ve eliminated several of our normal haunts, as neither of us would feel comfortable in cozy venues. I religiously check out latest table spacing, whether additional ventilation possible etc etc before even booking. Fortunately even though fully functioning now and busy, they are still strictly adhering to previous guidelines.
Do you think this is normal behaviour or the loss of confidence simply an outcome from shielding so long and feeling so much healthier having not mixed with Jo public?
I certainly do hope my anxiety eases soon as she is my only sibling and really don’t want to spoil any of our weekly treats out.
Linda x
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Hi Linda, I think some anxiety is natural after shielding for so long. It’s perfectly understandable to me.Pete and l went to a local restaurant this evening for 6.30. It wasn’t too bad at first but started to get busier. We were in and out in just over an hour as didn’t feel comfortable. I don’t think we’ll be going out at all as winter approaches.
Try and enjoy yourselves as much as possible and safely. Wishing you well. Xxxx
Thank you. Tbh we don’t stop anywhere near as long as we used to.
With the Delta virus the way it is, she could be returning at any time, so yes I’m trying to make the most of it to avoid the winter months being too long.
On a positive note. I went for regular blood test today, and our receptionist couldn’t believe how well I looked, as last time she saw me was February ‘20 when I was extremely poorly and my Dr was trying his hardest to keep me out of hospital.
Must admit it felt great to tell her I hadn’t had an infection since, so pleased it showed the value of shielding.
I’ll be taking care and but do hope you can go and enjoy more meals out over the summer months too. Xxx
Hi . It is difficult to decide what to do . I have only eaten out outside so far , though I did have coffee in a garden centre once , which wasn't very busy . It is perfectly understandable to be careful . Maybe you could ask when is the quietest time . Sorry not much help 🤗
Hopefully the weather will stay reasonable so we can go back to eating outside too, as know we both feel more comfortable with that anyway.
The rules/regulations are so much stricter in Barbados, and have been from the beginning, so tbh I’m more than happy to follow her example as know far safer than our UK guidance and latest relaxation of mandatory ruling.
Had excellent figs till Xmas/New year, and very stringent airport controls that runs like clockwork, but sadly hasn’t had the uptake of vaccine by the locals.
We all have to do what we are comfortable with as really none of us knows what is coming next.
We are being more adventurous about going into places but still not going mad and often we will look at how busy somewhere is and walk away.
We do our lateral flow tests twice a week and are encouraged when these show negative. We think back to where we have been and what we have done in the week before and add those things as potentially 'safe'.
But some anxiety remains. I think it must be normal for those of us who have shielded.
Enjoy your time with your sister and try not to worry too much. It's great news that you are so well, so I hope you stay that way. Xx Moy
I know how you feel. I was shielding last year and some of this year. Now we’re allowed to go out, my confidence has disappeared, especially in indoor settings. I went to lunch indoors with my Guild last week, and I was worried the whole time. In spite of this, I’m 75, and need to enjoy the few years left.. I will be more careful in the winter though, it’s a real problem for CEV people like me.
Although I’m a couple of years younger than you, feel just the same and despite the anxiety determined to do things with caution during the better weather as know I’ll basically shield again this winter as current medication seems to be working as haven’t felt this reasonable for so many years, and can only be by shielding away from all the germs.
I think it is hard to feel confident when there is still a lot of covid about. I avoid supermarkets (too many people about), but feel I've got to get my life back somehow, I would prefer eating outside when the weather's nice. Actually round here most shops and eateries are still observing the hygiene rules very thoroughly and a majority of people are wearing masks even outside in the town centre. Cheering to think that so many people are behaving responsibly. I hope you and yous sister can have a lovely time together.
Thank you Alberta56. I’m sure we will, and I still have my Sainsburys delivery each week, so don’t even venture into supermarkets, except the odd occasion when I’ve gone to our small M&S Food to go store just before closing so virtually empty too. Xx
The way you are feeling is quite normal as it is the way I too feel. We have a local restaurant we like that has undercover outdoor seating - with heaters, in a lovely square so would book there. Actually earlier this year for my wife's birthday during the very hot weather we ate inside because everyone was sat outside and no one inside - so that was a bonus. Actually I have seen some restaurants advertising that they have new air cleaning type air conditioning now too to try and encourage people to book with them. We have a big family get together for my Aunt's 80'th Birthday at a hotel - it has been cancelled since last November but I am wary of even going there. We normally have an annual get together at her house where we could sit outside without being antisocial but have no idea if that is possible at the hotel she has booked for this special get together. I still haven't booked a hotel yet and it's on 11th September! I try and calm myself by thinking well you know you go shopping and mix with people you don't know and don't know if they observe all the rules etc whereas all the family we will be meeting will be elderly and sensible - the youngest 61 (!) three are nurses 2 ex nurses one a paramedic and another a healthcare worker so you know you should be safe but it makes no difference. After all how many people do you still know walk out of public lavatories and do not wash their hands - even now? Its mad!
Thank you Desanthony. I can fully understand how you feel too.
I declined a birthday meal for last night even though only a selected few at the restaurant and booked for 5pm just as it opened, as they had hoped not be so busy. Still couldn’t rally myself, but hey ho will meet the important birthday girl in the park for coffee next week instead.
Lots of wise words above. Though I’m out and about more I’m still iffy in some situations. I wear my mask when others don’t. I prefer to eat outside if possible. Do what you and your sister think is best x
Thank you. We wear our masks and still wear them as we move to and from table too. This has been mandatory in Barbados from March ‘20 so has been easy to automatically follow my sisters example both last year and again this year.
You're wise to be cautious. An acquaintance who's shielded joined her choir comrades for a pub evening out and caught covid. It can only be the pub as she'd not been anywhere else (she's had both vaccinations too).
So sorry she has now suffered Covid after so long shielding and both vaccinations too, must be heartbreaking.
A friends daughter (40ish) was admitted a couple of weeks ago and said the whole ward was full of vaccinated patients. Fortunately none went to or had been in intensive care, but does prove that this Delta variant is out there and still hitting fully vaccinated folk.
Just goes to show we must still take precautions with masks, sanitising and take great are where we go. I'm rather dreading the winter although if we're careful we should still enjoy being with loved ones. x
My local coffee shop has entirely changed to outside-only, under cover if necessary. All cups & plates recyclable. The pub is still operating strict social distancing, tables well separated, masks to be worn when walking through, online ordering & drinks brought to table by staff wearing masks etc. As for shops, our Sainsbury’s is sticking to the previous restrictions too. I won’t go anywhere unless masks are required & hand sanitiser provided. I think you’re sensible to be careful and hopefully there are enough cautious venues in your area to allow you to spend lots of time with your sis
Wonderful to hear that your local haunts are all following strict guidance, as makes such a difference and you have the opportunity to meet up at an outside coffee shop too.
We are fortunate that the pub group we go to have remained with strict Covid advice, but tbh we’ve needed to eliminate several of our normal venues just to be extra careful, but that is mainly re ventilation rather than anything else.
Understandable that you have such reservations, but life goes on and I think that with the relatively few years I probably have left it would be a shame to lock myself away and not enjoy the pleasures of life that are available to me. After shielding for most of last year I ventured out to various eating houses and have now got enough confidence to lead an almost normal life for which I am very happy. There is no way of telling whether or not any place you visit is “safe” so all you can do is make sure that sensible precautions are taken.
Thanks for your reply. Tbh I think I lost my confidence in the week.
We’ve been out again today for our Sunday get together and it was simply delightful. The walk along the seafront blew some cobwebs away too.
Discussed openly with my sister my concerns and although I knew she’d understand she perfectly agrees we simply won’t go anywhere if either aren’t comfortable, and with the precautions we already take feels sure we have enough places to enjoy our catch ups no matter what the weather.
Round trip is 120 miles, which depending on the M25 and Dartford Tunnel can sometimes take a considerable chunk out of the day, so we’ve checked out more places roughly halfway too.
Enjoy your eating houses too, thanks again and stay as safe as you can. 🤙.
I think it is perfectly natural to feel anxious. Especially because we hear over and over again on the television and radio, on the internet how the virus is so easily spread. I feel nervous too. I keep my distance from people, but unfortunately people do not always return the favour. 😒
I have a favourite pasta place I have visited for many years. I know it well and the existence of a side table away from other customers. When I go there they know I want that table. So what you do is excellent, checking out the restaurant beforehand. If you are careful with hand washing and sanitising you will be cutting your risk by quite a lot. I also wipe the table with alcohol wipes. The menus are handled by many, so wash your hands after touching them. Also sanitize your cell phone if you have one. I could go on and on about precautions, but I feel like you know these things already.
I would definitely keep meeting up with your sister in whatever way you can. Clearly it is very important to you and also to her I am certain. It is hard just to exist , we must try to live too.
Enjoy your weekly treats. It's these small things that makes life so worthwhile.
I definitely had a wobble last week, and seemed to lose confidence completely which I would have laughed about a few years ago.
Fortunately the group of restaurants changed and uses single use paper menus and excellent with table/chair cleaning too. Tbh when we went to a new one in the week we realised we virtually knew the menu off by heart. 🤣,
I’m pleased you can have your regular table in fav place too. Makes such a difference!
I hope you continue to enjoy life along with your pasta Cas and I’ll try and remember to make the most of life instead of getting myself into a nervous stew.
I cannot thank you all enough for your amazing support this week, as each and every reply has definitely given me the boost I needed to regain my confidence and venture out again.
It was extremely reassuring to know that despite us all having been classed as CEV, we are all trying to get back to some form of new normality and I’m not alone having a wobble along the way.
Take care and stay safe everyone and many thanks again. This certainly is an amazing forum/group!!
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