So worried about surgery and recovery

[patmc1]

Hi all. I've been good (going to PR , Fev1 unchanged-mild COPD and moderate asthma) till this year. My 94 year old Dad had major skin cancer removal, eyelid reconstruction with eye sewed shut for 2 months, ankle pain which after misdiagnose from 2 ERs , and three docs(nerve pain) was sprained with a pulled tendon, then a brief period in which we had a breather---then he fell and broke his hip.

So now it was back and forth to the hospital, rehab home, trying to set up an old house with walk in shower and lift(still not working right). I kept thinking as soon as I get him ok I'll get my life in order--overdue lung CT, upper and lower GI visit, cardiologist. Etc. I know they say in order to be a caretaker you have to take care of yourself first but ---how??? I did get in an aide 20 hours a week but my older out of state sister and my improving Dad decided "we don't need anyone so don't spend the money" and had me terminate her.

Then 7 weeks ago running around as usual I tripped and fell hard on both shoulders. Finally chased by the pain and limited movement I went to the ortho. My right has a moderate rotator cuff tear but the left is massive. I'm scheduled for surgery(arthroscopy) in a week and I'm so scared.

The last time I had arthroscopy with general anesthesia was when my COPD came into full blown existence(I had a problem with going up hill but otherwise not SOB-then after 2 blocks winded). I did get surgical clearance from my pulmonologist (You should be fine") but I'm scared.

The second thing is the year recovery for the shoulder. You are immobilized in a special sling for 6 to 8 weeks with time off only to bend the elbow or dangle it. You are forbidden from using it at all. I have practiced using one hand and I'm terrible. I can get on my no show socks and maybe one gigantic t shirt , and I can open my toothpaste with my knees---but forget everything else.

I did hire an aide for now both Dad and I starting the day before my surgery and maybe for 4 or 5 weeks but I can't completely see how everything works.

I am glad that I will have my dominant hand and that Dad is almost over his hospital psychosis and that we will have some help but....I'm just tired and scared.

Anyone have the surgery ?? how did you cope??? what about COPD and general anesthesia???

[Ergendl]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Afraid I haven't had that op, but I did have a severe dislocation of my right shoulder a long time ago and it took about three months to get back to something like near normal. However, I found that with persistence my left hand has taken over for most strength jobs and some dexterity work. When it's necessary, the brain can relearn, you just have to keep on trying.

As for the COPD and general anaesthesia, if the pulmonologist said you should be fine, you should be: they're not going to risk losing a paying patient.

All the best, and hope your situation starts to improve now on.

[Izb1]

Hi Patmc1, I am waiting to have the same surgery and they said it would be before Christmas. Mine is my dominant side so am jiggered regarding personal things, I must admit to dreading it but in a silly way cant wait as the pain is terrible, I have bronchiectasis and at the moment it is behaving, I do have a cough and a bit of mucus. I am going to ask if I can use a nasal spray on the day of surgery to dry this up and hopefully calm the cough. Try not to worry to much about it before hand and we will deal with things on a day to day basis. Could your sister take more of a caring role with your Dad as you wont be able to do anything after, you will need all the help you can get. Ask social services if they can give you any help for yourself as well as your Dad. I wish you all the best and hope things get a little better for you x

[patmc1 in reply to Izb1]

I will try and update you as I deal with this. I went online of course and also read a free Kindle book that detailed an account of recovering and coping from the surgery. I found some of the tips useful in-between freaking out.

I have bought a few of the shirts for after surgery with the snaps (I still can't figure them out), I have a ton of huge T shirts that I half practice putting on the correct way---release sling, gently get material up bad arm, get head through then put "good" arm through. I have elastic waist "sleep" shorts and lounge/yoga pants, I ordered a poncho , another button up shirt, and I did order a special bra---but I do better just fastening one of mine and working it up the length of my body and not putting the strap up on the bad arm---I did this once with one hand but I'm so impatient I keep cheating.

I put a free standing toilet paper holder in the bathroom.

I'm ordering lots of frozen meals that don't involve cutting.

I have been practicing taking care of our birds with one hand.

Right after the surgery everyone slept in a recliner with pillow props. I don't have one nor the room to rent one. So I have a wedge pillow . Hope that works.

I did get an aide since Dad still needs some help. We aren't rich enough not to hurt a bit from the expense but we are not quite poor enough to qualify for aid---even though

Dad served in the Pacific in WW2.

And my sister is out of state and usually "helps" by telling me all the things I did are wrong. Sigh-sisters. Although her daughter my dear niece does and has been lending a hand (pun intended).

Good luck to both of us. ---as I've shared before here---I started my PR at the Shirley Ryan Ability Lab in Chicago and saw people without any limbs at all working on their lives. I know I need to pull up my big girl pants(with one hand!) and just cope .

I'll share along the way.

[Izb1 in reply to patmc1]

Thanks fir replying Patmcq. It sounds like you are well prepared .I have a recliner chair but the switch is on the left so will be unable to use it for that purpose. I too have bought a wedge and will use pillows to put all round to raise myself up. I live alone so things will be difficult as my daughter wont be able to get much time of work, she will try to get up some weekends but lives over 3 hours away and has a family to look after. I am 67 and have rheumatoid arthritis which doesnt help, but I am sure I will manage. Being prepared is the key. I will have enough dinners in the freezer, my biggest problem will be the personal things but I am sure to get round it somehow. I think I may be able to have a carer for 6 weeks and its something I will look into when I have a date. I dont know if they provide you with any assistance in the states but here in the UK if you meet certain criteria then you can have assistance, so fingers crossed. I wont be bothering with things like a bra until I get better and have bought a poncho too. I cant find big tops that I want but may resort to cardigans with one arm left under in the sling. At least we can compare notes. Hope things go well for you and its not as bad as you think x

[patmc1 in reply to Izb1]

I hope we both find novel ways to cope and that the time goes fast and relatively pain free. And that I keep the darn shoulder immobile .

Oh I did find a lap holder for my e reader, and I have Netflix , Amazon Prime and Britbox.