Cycle Accident. (Joke)

[Johnem]

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said,

"I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible, he was in agony and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over six hours, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrap surgical wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved, they shuddered and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible injury and painstaking surgery that was performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, with tears in her eyes, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men breathed a sigh of relief and the whole congregation applauded..

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked with a walking stick, slowly to the podium.

He said, "Hi, I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."

[sassy59]

😂🤣 very good Johnem. Xxxxx

[Magpuss]

😱..........😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[SORRELHIPPO]

I love this, for many years I worked with older people in their own homes, the first thing on the first visit was a full medical history. Often people ask you to see patients with their latest diagnosis, forgetting how important other previous issues may be. The times I used to end up scratching my head trying to work out what they meant they had had. I always asked to see the Meds they took, it gave me an idea what their GP was treating them for, and had the best giggle of my life over one of these. I was seeing a very genteel old lady about 85, who had been complaining of severe pain, which she did have, with a combination of Osteo Arthritis, Osteoporosis and some joint deformities from Rheumatoid Arthritis. She complained that the new pain killer her GP had given her, did not work and was very difficult to swallow, so she had only taken the one. I asked to see these, and eventually found them in a kitchen drawer (never did ask why she kept them there but no other meds). What I found was a couple of sheets containing some fairly solid gels in a cone shape, I read the instructions to be sure they were enema pain killers. I then had the problem of attempting to explain to a very genteel 85 year old, where they were supposed to go and swallowing them was not the idea. She was absolutely appalled, drew herself up to her full 5'4" and said, "young woman, my doctor knows what kind of lady I am and would never ask me to do something like that". The report letter I had to do for the GP was interesting!!! I always hoped he managed to find a way to keep his good relationship with her.

[Whitechinchilla]

😂😂😂😂

[Nicosn]

😂😂😂xx

[MoyB]

Thank you for the laugh! I read it out to my husband and he's laughing too. xx Moy

[SquirrelsHolt]

Oh that got me smiling! Good one!

[Whitechinchilla]

Thanks for the laugh a good joke brings😀

[Hidden]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That definitely needs re-posting to my sisters - one in Canada, and another one here, in hospital at present! Hope you don't mind me sharing the laugh Johnem? I'll give you full credit..... 😊🙏

[Johnem in reply to Hidden]

Please do, it's what I did when sent to me.

[Sandyeggo]

Oh my gosh FINALLY someone with a sense of humor I can relate to! That was so awesome with just the right amount of raunchy. I’d guess you are not a Brit or are you? I did actually laugh out loud- thanks! I’ll get ya one back one of these times👍

[Johnem in reply to Sandyeggo]

Yes I'm a Brit, glad you enjoyed it. 😄

[Jeaniep]

Oh Johem, you have done it again!😀,and these jokes get better and funnier.. read it out to my hubby and he too laughed his head off😅and gave a 👍

Thanks Johnem.

Keep us laughing keep them coming.❌

[Johnem in reply to Jeaniep]

Glad you both enjoyed it. 😉