For you who may never have heard it.
When the show was still around, a young man hobbles onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches.
Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon from Norfolk.
"It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened."
"Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was a passenger in my uncle's car when we had a really terrible accident. Sadly, my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs."
"That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?" asks Matthew.
"No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful.
"I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year."
A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.
Kelly responds with:
"That's an unbelievable and wonderful story. So tonight, who are you going to be?"
"Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle."
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Ah, my hat and coat, how kind...
Locked out.
Our pets
aaadd 
Steroids and eyes.
