New to all this !

[CORNEDBEEFHASH]

hello, I am the woman in a 6 month relationship with a lovely man who has COPD. He gave up chain smoking within 2 weeks of us meeting which he had done for over 50 years (he is 66 and me 68). We fell deeply in love and he makes me very happy but worries about keeping our sex life going. I feel the need to talk to others in my position as I am trying to keep his spirits up and he has viagra to keep other things up. The trouble is he thinks I am not satisfied. How can I help him.....he does not do his exercises and says he will never take oxygen, to him that is the end. Any advice will be gratefully received.

[mrsmummy]

Check out BLF help here:

blf.org.uk/search/site/sex

[Hidden]

Sounds like you both have a wonderful relationship and he's stopped smoking straight away which has major benefits . Good luck with things and keep posting ...enjoy your time 💜💜

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much.

[Ruach]

The most erogenous zone anyone has, is the mind, the mechanics are secondary.

[Hidden in reply to Ruach]

Very true Ruach x

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Ruach]

Thanks for your input.

[Parvati]

You may have to be crafty and gradually work some exercise into your days Remember the best exercise is just walking - whether its walking around an indoor shopping centre, a walk in the park, a walk to a local bar/cafe etc. If you can find him an almost daily walk -eg. to the paper shop & back - great - if not try and cajole him out and about as often as you can without saying it's to make him walk (eg. 'let's go and see the xmas lights up town'). Is there anything he used to like doing or would like to do that you can 'bribe' him with? If you can get him out on walks of some sort then treat them like 'dates' or pleasurable outings. Start with short and slow walks/trips and let them build in frequencey/length over time. Try any activity he enjoys -- gardening, swimming etc. or get him to try something new eg. Taekwondo - perhaps you could try it together. If he (or you) likes reading then there's a nice book about rising to the challenges of COPD written by a man, that is well worth a look - it's called 'Who says I can't?' and is written by a Northern guy called Joe - he has very severe COPD but found ways to live with it and still does Taekwando among other things. You can find it here: amazon.co.uk/Who-Says-Cant-... Hope that helps

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Parvati]

Thank you so much, that book will be in his Christmas stocking.

[Phil61]

I've been on oxygen for about 12 months now, trust me it's not too bad and so much better than the alternatives!!!!!

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Phil61]

Thank you for your encouragement.

[Hayley_]

Oxygen isn’t the end. I was on it for 18 months and then my oxygen levels got better and am no longer on it. It’s great that he’s given up smoking, that’s a massive plus. It’s easy to let yourself get down with this illness. Just keep being positive for him. Good luck 😉

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Hayley_]

Thank you, so pleased that so many people care enough to answer.

[Caspiana]

Hello CORNEDBEEFHASH .

Love the user name by the way. 😁 Other people have left some good advice on this issue. I would just add that reassuring your man that when you have real love and a fantastic relationship, sex is a plus, not a priority. That's my thought on the matter anyway.

I'm so happy you found each other.

Cas xx 😁💜

[CORNEDBEEFHASH in reply to Caspiana]

Thank you so much for your input. The user kept being rejected so I plumped for what I was cooking at the time.

[bobwells]

I understand being stubborn. My gal tried to get me to do O2 from the beginning and it wasn't until the pain was too taxing to do my work that I "gave in". Been awhile since I've done a post, but your guy might pay attention to the following.

I was given "notice" I had about 6 months left...over 4 years ago. I had an 11 year relationship, 3 step daughters, a 25 year successful business and an attitude of come hell or high water, I'm not going on the hose.

For two years after losing most of my lung function 4 years ago (and having quit 30 years of smoking 5 years prior), I continued to refused O2. Having a metal fabrication shop, I tried taking "hits" of O2 here and there without much results. I decided to take a bottle to the house and try O2 overnight just to see how I felt. I had done a sleep study and my SpO2 would touch 60 several times over night, but my daytime would drop to 80 if I exerted myself too much. So I tried the O2 at 2 to 3 liters per minute. My main motivation was to reduce painful joints making my work more difficult. I was informed that this was due to my body scavenging for O2...and since I had more pain when waking up as compared to the end of my work day...this would be a good test. Not only did my joints (especially toes and fingers) feel better immediately the first morning, after a few days I felt better than I had for the past two years all over. Since that discovery, I still have not used O2 during my days. Only when I go to bed. I bought a couple of O2 concentrators (97% O2 at up to 5 LPM/ one for back-up) and set them up in another room, as they are not silent. The supply line runs 70 feet to my bed and connects to a flow meter I've mounted at bedside (floating ball type) and I can adjust it perfectly to 2.5 LPM.

As indicated by the awake and sleep numbers, I could breathe better while active. I should mention I do not have sleep apnea. In the beginning of my O2 usage, my average daily SpO2 was 85 to 87. It has improved since to 92-94 average at 5 PM over the past couple of years. I feel that the added O2 has allowed me to push my endurance capability by giving my body a really good recharge over night. This very slow improvement has been constant. But, improving in my condition is apparently very rare (many specialists said "you can't improve from your condition"). I have slept a couple of nights without O2 during all of this, and although the following day is a little rough, a couple of days later on O2 during sleep, and I'm back to "normal".

Have your guy read this. I faced losing my business of 3 decades because I was dwindling slowly. Sex was exhausting. Pain was a problem (and I refuse drugs). All of these issues have turned around. This year has been the best ever financially which also inspires me to keep going at this pace. I'll be 60 in 6 months, if that matters. I must mention I could not stand having those little tubes poking into my nose, so I modified this but cutting out the prong section and replacing it with a woven cotton tube about an inch long. So I breathe the O2 well mixed with room air and don't have that noisy cold stream of O2 drying out my nose. The cotton is very comfortable (and quiet) and easily stays in place. I would not write all of this if it didn't work. By the way, sometimes my gal will reach over and turn up the O2 during sex...and apparently she's quite happy with the results. As for viagra, I have used a half tab of 100 mg as a rescue from being short of breath. It works wonderfully when I exert my self too much too fast, especially when carrying heavy steel during welding and machining tasks. I use it maybe once in a month. As for sex, so far it has not been needed while using O2.

During the day and evening, I'm free of the encumbrance. It also makes it possible for me to work harder and therefore keep working my lungs to my limits every day. Eat healthy and avoid poisons/pesticides too. Give it a try for a couple of weeks...you might be very surprised.

[CORNEDBEEFHASH]

Thank you so much for the trouble you have taken, I will make sure my fella reads this and hope he has the brains to take note and stop being a plonker.