Illness and Relationships

[BilboBagshot]

Hi,

I am in a long term relationship with kids and having these illnesses has really had a massive impact on the marriage. This is due to the fact my coughing and wheezing at times is horrific (not to mention sputum), due to my weight gain (Cheers roids lol) I snore like an express train. The stress and mood swings because of the drugs I take I am an a*** to live with.

This in turn means I do not sleep in the same bed.

I am the one who is ill and although it has an effect on me, it really has an effect on everyone around me.

They say in sickness and health but switch roles and could you do it?

[sassy59]

Yes, to answer your question, l look after Pete and all his ups and downs healthwise. I'm not the only one on this site who is a carer. It's hard sometimes but after 3 kids and 43 years of marriage l am glad to be able to do what l do for Pete. I know he would care for me too.

I hope you and your partner can keep going and work around things. Take care xxxx

[TuckBox2]

I am the same with asthma, sleep apnoea, I have been under the sleep clinic and I use a CPAP machine at night. This stops me from snoring and I can sleep in the same bed with my wife. We too have been married 42 years but our 2 children have grown up and moved away.

Yes I have also put on weight with the steroids & the Dr's keep saying I should lose weight, but while on steroids and other medications, it only goes up. I get some relief of coughing with asthma meds, I am now on injections as well as 3x pumps, they help keep me out of hospital.

Yes I get mood swings especially when I have an exacerbation and have to start the steroids and have to take time off work. But, as my wife has retired she normally goes off to one of her coffee mornings or sewing clubs to stay out of the house.

[Hidden]

Yes I have done for my hubby whose medically retired from the forestry commission after a 250 pound branch fell 100 ft and smacked him round the head. Hospital rehabilitation for 3 years plus .hes recovered well and we both have time and support for each other. More so me now as I'm stage 3 copd. But it's not debilitating me as yet I hope you resolve things xxxx

[skischool]

i spent 3 1/2 years sleeping downstairs on a settee next to my dear wife Cecilia in a hospital bed,after a devastating stroke she couldn,t walk ,talk,read or write.yet every day we had a smile for each other.and found ways to communicate our love for each other.Disability didn,t drive us apart it made us stronger together as a couple.Your other half and kids will no doubt want to maintain their bond with you if you let them.good luck my dear have faith in love.

[Nitap in reply to skischool]

What a lovely post hope things keep you together god bless you xxx

[Hayley_]

It definitely puts a strain on relationships. I split from my husband a few years after I was diagnosed. He wasn't very understanding in the fact I couldn't do what I used to be able to around the house. I'm sure he used to think I was making it up, and I used to feel guilty. I hope it all works out for both x

[Sapper21]

A very interesting message, bilbobagshot. We have been married for 63 years and for the last 12 years I have been disabled with COPD and other ailments. My wife is my rock, there is nothing she woulsn't do for me. I am sad, thinking of how different our retirement would have been if I had stayed fit, but she says she is quite happy with her life. Every best wish to you and your family. Albert.

[Nitap in reply to Sapper21]

Another lovely post God bless you both xxx

[carotopgal]

My husband has emphysema. It can be hard on me at times, but I always put myself in his place and think he is so strong for going through this illness. He feels bad because he thinks it's his "fault" he's sick (used to be a smoker). But to me that's water under the bridge. We take care of each other, in sickness and in health! I hope your husband can understand that sickness can be a part of marriage. Have you thought of maybe getting some counseling to help with the situation? I don't have any words of wisdom, but I send you hugs!

[SquirrelsHolt]

Golly gosh what absolutely wonderfully truthful replies you've had BilboBagshot ! I had tears in my eyes,reading the very sincere responses folk had given you. For me,my situation is my 23 year old son is my sole carer. I still feel he's loosing the best years of his life. We live together, with Hazel his dog,and his Dad and I are best friends. Apart from my other best friend,Clare,we have no relatives other than my mum and dad and they are both in their 90's and doing exceptionally well. So I feel I'm a burden on my son as he says he couldn't allow anyone to just call in and "help" us. Apologies,I digress,but if wherever possible,keep family close and be united.