I'm so happy to have my daughter and grandson back in my life.She is still in contact with my parents who were horribly abusive,but I've decided that I need to swallow my pride to keep my daughter and grandson in my life,she'll soon find out about my family and I'll be there to pick up the pieces.I hate that she's seeing them,and it's really difficult,but it's not worth losing her over. I don't know how long I've got and if anything happened to me and we weren't talking my daughter would be left with issues to deal with.My parents maybe don't care about that,but I do,so I'll bury my feelings and just love my daughter and grandson.
I believe I'm ill because of the childhood abuse I suffered and there is evidence to suggest that's the case,so it's hard not to be bitter.My parents are enjoying life,caravaning and going days away,enjoying days out with my daughter and grandson,while I'm stuck at home most days.But being bitter will only make things worse and I need to forgive.
Thanks to everyone who helped me and supported me,I love this site,everyone is so kind.Thanks again
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gothmum
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I am really pleased you have your grandson and daughter back in your life and I hope it all works out for you. As you say, love is so much better to have in your life than bitterness...and I totally agree with you!
All the best to you all, gothmum, and enjoy that beautiful grandson.
Lovely gothmum l am truly pleased for you and just knew things would work out somehow. You are always in my thoughts and l wish you precious time with your daughter and grandson.
Thank you so much,when everyone was saying things would work out I was so adamant that they wouldn't,sometimes it's nice to be wrong lol.Thanks for your kind wishes I really appreciate it
Hi gothmum its very difficult I'm a hands on Nan and wouldn't have it any other way I love my granddaughters dearly. My mother in-law wasn't showed no interest in my daughter and as a result I never spoke to her nor did her son she died two years ago.
My daughter is pulling her hair out because her mother in - law is the same she can't understand why.
I'm pleased you have your daughter and grandson back in your life I hope you enjoy having them around as much as I do.
The one granny I had,(the other one died before I was born),didnt show any interest in me,I think it's sad and was definitely her loss,the relationship a grandchild is a gift.
So pleased for you. I remember your earlier post and felt so sad for you. You will never regret making the choice you have. It was hard, but worth it. Others will have to live with the consequences of bad choices, and that is, ultimately much worse.
I'm so, so pleased and happy for you! Some choices are hard to make in some ways but at the same time so easy. I'm sure your daughter will come round, even if it's slowly and the love and fun of your little grandson will be so healing.
You can't change what's happened in your past - thanks for the video: really interesting - but you can change what happens in your future and make choices for how you want that to be. Not everything, I know, but you've chosen to have the love that you need around you.
Do please let us know how how you are and how things are going for you. You seem to have touched lots of people on this site and we're all rooting for you. Hope your husband's pleased.!
Thanks so much everyone.Im overjoyed that I'm seeing Mollie and Eli again.My family are my reason for fighting on,I adore them,theyve been my whole life since I first had Mollie at age 20,and my son Fin at 28.I need to bite my tongue about some things.My standing joke is that I'm only alive because I'm determined to outlive my parents and get a few years of peace lol.Thanks for the lovely messages of support,and thanks for getting my strange sense of humour ☺ lol.Love and healing thoughts to everyone.
So very pleased that you have your family back with you. I think I have a good relationship with my daughter and grand children, but there are times when I have to bite my tongue, as I am sure she does with me. Forgiving is not always easy, forgetting even harder still. Just enjoy what you have now. So very glad you posted like others I think of you a lot and often wondered how things were going.
Forgiveness is the next step on your journey.....I am sorry that this sounds a bit New Age , but I can't think how else to put it. The most difficult step too.
My relationship with my late parents was not ideal, and I have a tendency to go back and relive some events.....a bit like picking a scab....a sort of perverse pleasure that only hurts me. My 70 year old friend and I can spend time over a coffee debating childhood resentments...both of us have asthma too.
But resentments can build up and cause physical and mental tension....I can feel a knot in my solar plexus often which makes it more difficult to breathe.
One way I have found to try and untie and dissolve the knot....again a bit New Age....is through meditation and relaxation. At first with a trusted teacher as many uncomfortable sensations came to the surface.
I am so glad you have made contact again with your family.....best wishes .
It's only my daughter and grandson I'd have contact with.Id never have contact with my parents.I try and forgive them,and pray for them,but when I'm still suffering PTSD and flashbacks because of things done by my parents i find it complicated and difficult to completely forgive.I find if I get anxious about my family it's my gallbladder that goes.I refuse to let my parents keep winning,so I fight against it,and I'm determined to be happy.I didn't know how long I've got and I wont let them waste the time I have with Mollie and Eli.
Thanks do much for your kind wishes and advice I really appreciate it
Tracey Do they want your forgiveness, people like them never ever realise the hurt that they have caused. If they did they would have tried to make you happy a long time ago. No way have they won because they have not got the loving and caring daughter that they could have done. Enjoy the family you have around you now, don't look back. xx
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Good news! Got to meet my grandson at last!
an update from me plus: A MASSIVE THANK YOU
Oh Woe is Me
Mid-night ramblings! 'The retirement boat's gone off course'
