I would love to live with my mum but she is frighten my 4 and 5 year old will give her an infection. She lives in Nz
She is such an amazing mum and i am so happy to relocate.
But I am terrified my children will give her a chest infection she may not recover from.
Looking for advice please
Ps. She has chronic emphysema, is 74 (apart from her lungs, in excellent health!!)
Lives in her her front room in her hospital bed and has 2 other bedrooms and a good sized garden.
I have someone I can stay with when girls are unwell x
Seems like you're wanting us to say it will be fine MMM - Id love to say so but one of the difficulties is that people can be contagious while they are asymptomatic, i.e. before an infection shows itself, so its difficult to protect against that. On the other hand, happiness is a great immune booster, so your mum may well improve just be having you all there.
There are so many unknowables but if you have a strict regime which the children will observe as well, it might be ok. Like regular hand washing throughout the day, both you, the kids and your mum. Always washing hands when you come in, and then also using a hand sanitizer as that will help if you are handling things you've brought in from outside. Over-the-shoulders hugs should be the norm, no kissing. The medically accepted distance to avoid infection is 6 feet - I read this a while back. It's great you have somewhere to stay if the girls are unwell, but you may also get ill. I assume your mum has annual flu jabs and has had a pneumonia one too.
You don't say what stage your mother's copd is at. Mine is severe with bronchiectasis too, but I am also in good health, partly as I work hard at exercise and take good care around infection. My partner and friends are supportive - friends will cancel arrangements if they are unwell so as not to put me at rise. I don't have grandchildren and really feel for those with copd who do as it is such a dilemma. All in all its a balance of risk and I hope you come to a decision you are happy with. Best wishes to all of you.
Thank you so much for your reply and giving me a personal perspective. I have spoken to many professionals and really needed an opinion from someone who is actually living with the disease.
Of course I want everyone to tell me what I need to hear (don't we all!) however my priority is my mum and her safety. It will be her decision and hers alone as to whether we return to care for her. I'd like to have many perspectives pro and against.
My mum is a retired nurse, so she is most certainly capable of making her own decision and which I'll respect.
I can't say it's not difficult as a daughter, to not run down there and try to make everything ok, just like mum did for us all those years.
I'm a nurse also but I work in an operating theatre. Infection control is one of my fortes but I most certainly do not have experience of COPD.
I put this post out so I can gather the most appropriate information for mum, foremost, but for all our family.
She has Stage 3 x
I had somehow passed over your mum's fear and concentrated on yours - but as someone with copd, catching an infection really is a constant source of fear. You can do everything in the world to keep safe and still get an infection (i didn't realise you are a nurse, and your mum, so I guess that list of infection control was redundant!) Last year I had double pneumonia (with respiratory failure) - where did that come from? But by being vigilant, Ive had no exacerbation since and that's sixteen months now (fully expect to contract something now I've said that, sod's law 
)
A further thought (as a mother!): if you accustom your children to be super-careful right from the off, then when they have some infection the concept of keeping your mum safe will be natural for them. Of course I don't know how old your children are. Anyway good luck with the decision.
Thank you so much. I will definitely pass this onto my mum x
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