Can you all find somewhere to sit please...you're going to sit on his lap...ok, that's fine by us. If you're just going to wriggle about and sigh heavily then I shan't bother you know...
You see, there is a little bit of a problem over our Mr Moriarty...the builder.
Some of you have had forty fits about air bricks and stuffing chimneys with rocks while others...you and you at the back...were almost wetting yourselves at the thought of me parting with hard cash up front...supposing Mr Moriarty was dodgy and ran away clutching a handful of euro's...he might have made straight for the betting shop and put every last note on a certain winner running in the three o'clock...
It's perfectly acceptable here in very rural Ireland to offer cash up front to workmen...since the recession most small businesses have been hanging on for grim death...struggling not to follow too many of their fellows down the slippery slope to insolvency and hold onto what they have...one way to help out is to offer cash up front so they can buy the wood, paint or whatever they'll need without incurring even more debts at the builders yard...
If you'd been paying attention you'd remember that it was Brian who had taken the job on in the first place...I've known Brian for eighteen years... he and his team of merry men restore old cottages...Mr Moriarty works for and with Brian...if Brian says this chap is sound...then he is.
And you were puttering about the amount we'll have to pay 'cos I said it was peanuts...we have exceedingly limited savings and were terrified the cost of the materials and the work would gobble up the meagre amount of money we have available...so when Mr M told us the grand total and it meant a little nibble into the cash rather than a hefty bite...I was silly and said it'd be cheap...
Were you all listening...hope so 'cos I don't like it when you start to worry...there's no need you know.
Of course, if I'd known you when The Stoner was here, creating mayhem between rolling yet another spliff and drinking all my coffee...then you'd have had good cause to worry...at least he didn't set our cottage on fire the way he did a cottage belonging to a couple of friends of ours...though he did want to turn our big barn into a recording studio...
You can go now...if you like...though I suppose you'll be wanting a cup of tea first.
Thank you for listening...would you get off his lap now? He's looking a bit uncomfortable...
That was great,I could see it all being played out on a stage,I just kept smiling to my self,it sounds as if all is well,so we will just sit back and wait for the first episode,cant wait,Lol
I remember your very skilful ha fling of the social services staff, so there was no doubt at all in my mind you knew exactly what you were doing. Can't wait for the next instalment, I won't sit on Mr D's knee. I would flatten him, not doing too well with my diet. 💖
I won't sit on Dave's knee ta; a few years ago may well have done but his kness are not good these day. I have no doubt you have it all under control Vashti; in particular Mr M, was he not the villian in Sherlock Holmes? x
Worrying is second nature to us Vashti, it comes with the territory. Glad that you are confident of Mr Moriarty's credentials, we wouldn't like to think he'd be running off to Vegas with your savings. I'm also worried about your lungs and how you are going to cope with all the dust and disruption. Sorry
Priceless, but I do agree about giving money up front for materials, I live in a village and everyone knows everyone so no danger of getting ripped off. My son repairs computers for people and tends to trade his time for jobs we need doing after we have bought materials, works out fine. Saves a fortune.
Vashti I love your stories. They don't half make me chuckle. The way you write them is soooooo funny. You are a right character. Keep them coming. You make my day. Take care. Maggie x
So we CARE about you - OK? And not just because we'd miss our daily chuckle if you were so impoverished by a rogue builder they cut your broadband off, or you'd have to go live in the shed and let the old homestead out to tourists so you could pay for a crust! Did you tell us he'd been vouched for by the lovely Brian? You did not. Come on, you have to admit that "Mr Moriarty" sounds quite sinister from someone on first-name terms with everyone and his donkey. Seriously, hope job goes nice and smoothly and the weather holds up - in Ireland, as in Wales, that's a big ask but I'll be keeping everything crossed for you.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Mr Wheezy's wife here with big news ...
Mr Bear love to Cas& bear! 
The Gas Man Cometh...
