The Gas Man Cometh...: A rather strange... - Lung Conditions C...

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The Gas Man Cometh...

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A rather strange sort of a chap came yesterday to mend the gas cooker...he fixed it mind you and knocked vast amounts of money off because Himself paid him in cash...but he was incredibly noisy.

Banging and clattering and dashing out to his van, closing the front door behind him with a terrific crash that shook the rafters...or it would have done, if we had any rafters to speak of.

Then he'd charge back indoors and away would go the front door again...

We'd shut the kittens in the bedroom, so they couldn't escape out into the wild blue yonder and Bobby was shut outside because he does take against some people...that left Eilis and Millie indoors. Your man would kept clicking his tongue at Eilis everytime he shot past her...she did actually show her teeth at him, but it didn't stop him...he said she was smiling.

Himself said it wasn't so much a smile...more of a grimace...and it might be as wise not to keep tapping her on her head 'cos she's liable to bite.

Your man said he'd never been bitten by a dog yet and didn't hear Himself mutter 'there's always the first time'

Then he asked me what all the equipment was for and I told him briefly about COPD and needing oxygen and he said I looked very well though and must be getting better...

I stifled the urge to slap him.

Because he had to pull the cooker away from the wall it meant moving the small drawer unit as well...he sort of grabbed it and yanked and it made a dreadful screech across the tiled floor while I could see Himself glowering at the marks on the tiles and the thought of having to put the unit back together 'cos it was only a cheap one from Argos...oddly enough it survived.

When I wasn't wanting to give him a sharp smack, I was struggling not to burst out laughing 'cos he sort of tipped his head to one side when he spoke...rather like the way a pet budgie will look at you...

We were really hungry, which didn't help matters...he hadn't arrived until 5.30pm and had the inside of the cooker all over the floor until an hour later...

And I'd been trying to write about my new shiny wheelchair...having to stop to gather my thoughts after each enormous crash...

He fixed it anyway and disappeared out of the door with much waving and good lucks...

I collapsed in a soggy heap of giggles over the keyboard and Himself was peeling tatties when the front door suddenly burst open again.

He'd left the keys to his van in the kitchen.

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8 Replies
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Lisahelen profile image
Lisahelen

Woops! Lol

Hope he doesnt read this lol

Sometimes the funniest things come about out of really unexpected events.

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Vashti I'm sitting on my sofa in Dublin, and I'm in fits of giggles at your description

Of the man looking. Like a budgie the way he tilts his head. Ah Vashti you. Are

A tonic and better than my antidepressant which I take every day. I often wonder if

They are doing me any good at all?

Have a lovely weekend, it was a really nice autumnal day here today.

Hannah πŸŽƒπŸŽƒ

scorpiolass profile image
scorpiolass

Oh my goodness, I hope Mollie didn't think he was a budgi. I recokon he would have more to fear from her than Eilis. Love Margaret x

hufferpuffer profile image
hufferpuffer

πŸ˜πŸ˜€ Sounds like you had a very funny sort of gas man cometh and goeth ! I love the image I have of Eilis grimacing at the budgie looking man hahaha! Glad your cooker's fixed though!πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸŽƒ x

I had a giggle over a Gas man years ago who came out on a Sonday to repair a gas pipe my husband had punctured with a nail whilst trying to put up an electric wall heater. It was a snowy March day and as he walked into the kitchen the snow on his boots caused him to slip and he hurtled along the tiled floor and ended up with his feet up the back door shouting oh Jesus. I couldn't control the giggles but he did forgive me.

Oh dear Vashti,I can't help but laugh at visualising all this,xxx

Offcut profile image
Offcut

Gas man giving a discount wow!

I drilled though a gas pipe some years ago and a neighbour who was a registered gas fitter repaired it, but said he was off on the tiles as it was new years eve and went away with some folding from me as a thank you. All was well until a couple of hours later we noticed it getting cold in the house. My back boiler had not fired up!

I ended up calling out a unknown registered man that told me his high charges so I told him to come. Was not to long but getting colder by the minute to have him take the front fire off and look at the fault? It was the pilot starter had a wire off.

OK easy fix methinks to then be told that he is going to condemn the fire and leave as it breaks Regs. because the wood panelling is not the regulation distance from the flue? "The charges quoted still apply!" As soon as he said that he told his helper to pack up and started to tape my fire with "Do not use tape" When I asked how far does it need to be he reluctantly told me. I went to my tool drawer and got my Stanley knife and cut it a further inch past the size stated and told him to "Now fix the fault" He could see I was not going to be messed and did fix it in 3 minutes.

I paid him the minimum rate he quoted and told him "I will make sure people I know are aware of him as man with no morals" He looked shocked by by comments and skulked off to his van red faced.

Be Well

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

I reckon that if your SOH could be bottled and sold, we'd all be cured of whatever ails us! Great piece as usual Vashti. XX

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