Ole Legs Had An Accident...

He's wrecked his car and suffered a whiplash...not Himself...Reuben.

And it couldn't have happened to anyone else...you see Reuben is a bit of a hypochondriac...he had a lumpy thing on the sole of his foot when he was here a week ago...he'd seen the Doctor who'd told him it was something I can't pronounce, never mind spell, but he was rooting about in the kitchen cupboards looking for Cider Vinegar...I didn't have any...only White Wine vinegar and apparently that wouldn't do, it had to be Cider vinegar...to soak his foot in.

We all sort of yelled in unison that we'd not be sitting here while he has his foot in a bowl of vinegar, so he could forget that idea...he bought a fancy bandage, which was actually an ankle support, made a big show of taking his sock off and putting the bandage thing on then grumbled because it didn't help the lumpy bit...which it wouldn't, seeing as how it was intended for ankles and not lumpy bits on soles of feets.

He won't eat butter you know...'cos of getting high blood pressure...so he slathers bits of bread with Hellman's mayonnaise instead and eats cheese on toast for breakfast...he cooks it in the microwave and it melts everywhere.

Anyway...some eejit crashed into the back of his car last night and now he has one of those collars on and T says he's driving her quite demented what with lumpy feets and now a whiplash and a wrecked car...