Tales From Our Street...

They're here for a week you know...not just the weekend...too far to come for just a couple of days...poor souls would be knackered.

It's been a quiet week in our street...Jonny's just had the last of his silage cut and baled...practically unheard of for it to be so late but the summer didn't happen, so everything is upside down.

Wendy said she was going to sell Tilly which is just plain mean...Tilly is the little Terrier she bought for Jamie a couple of Christmases' ago...she barks a lot. Probably because no-one takes any notice of her...Himself said a Traveller would buy her as a 'bait' dog. She didn't believe him.

All Jason's teeth fell out. He had to go and have some made in a bit of a rush 'cos he's a salesman and I suppose it wouldn't look too good to be selling a new washing machine to someone if you didn't have any teeths...

Didn't ask if the tooth fairy came...he was a trifle grumpy and it might have made him worse.

And Mrs P. has COPD...Mrs P is so called because she is named Patricia and her husband is Patrick...so they are Mr and Mrs P. we've known them since we first moved here actually...they live the other side of town in a tiny cottage that had to be under-pinned 'cos it was sort of tilting over...

Himself met Mr P in the shop, that's how he found out...when he told me I said how awful...poor Mrs P, bet she wouldn't say that about me though. She fell out with me after I asked her not to smoke weed in our sitting room...made me go all over peculiar so it did. The chap who made a balls up of this cottage is a friend of theirs...he set fire to their cottage roof.

Tommy the postie brought the fabric I'd ordered and a 'phone bill...Eircom have changed their name apparently, according to the glossy letter enclosed...now they're named EIR...not certain just how you're meant to pronounce it. Air, I suppose...like Eircom. And they told lots of lies about fast internet connections...about how cables are being laid all over Ireland...not down our street they're not.

Michael has had his sheep shorn again...I think that's mean and nasty. It's the latest fad...you have them shorn at the back end so they eat more to keep warm and then you get seriously fat sheeps, rather than medium sort of sheeps. Michael wouldn't like it if he couldn't wear his warm jacket when he's out and about on his tractor...or his knitted hat.

Himself saw a big Dog Fox the other morning when he was out with our dogs...Eilis wanted to chase it but Himself wouldn't let her...he said it was twice as big as Eilis and would probably have eaten her...I said it wouldn't matter and he said I was horrible to even think such a thing.

He hasn't seen the Mink though...not for ages...perhaps it's found itself a new home now the bridge is down.

Lovely Malachi came with more oxygen for me...he lets himself in now, but this time was greeted by me shouting at him 'Mind the kittens!'...he asked did they bite...with a perfectly straight face. Then he laughed and said he'd put them down on his form...you know they have these forms to fill out about access to people's homes and whether or not there's parking and are there friendly or unfriendly pets...he told me he went to a new place where the lady had an enormous Rottweiler that he was wary of...she also had an extremely tiny Yorkie...the Rottweiler slobbered all over his jeans...the tiny Yorkie bit his ankle and left teeth marks.

And with that I'll wish you all an excellent weekend...