I'd Rather Stick Pins In My Eyes...

Sometime ago one of Himself's Granddaughters suggested we have a 'family gathering'...she was offended when I laughed.

It'd be great fun she said...for whom I asked her...well, it'd be lovely to get everyone together...have some music and food and we could have a bar! I could practically see her making out a list as we spoke...

I pointed out...as tactfully as I was able...that her Aunts and Uncles spend an inordinate amount of time not speaking to each other...that there are now second wives and husbands to add to the equation and what would we be doing about the first ones...that one of her Uncles becomes a Bolshie git when he's had a few beers and that I loathe one of my daughter-in-laws...I'd want to hit her which would upset my son and then he wouldn't be speaking to me and that'd all be before we even sat down to eat Scampi in a Basket with Chips...

What's Scampi in a Basket with Chips Granny? I told her I was being silly...

She said I wasn't taking the idea seriously.

She asked what ideas did I have for food...I said we might as well roast a hog on a spit...two hogs perhaps 'cos her partner is six foot tall and has a chest the size of a barn door...as have his five brothers.

Their wives and girlfriends can easily drink anyone under the table and still behave as though they're stone cold sober and they are all ladies of a certain size...maybe two roasted hogs wouldn't be enough...

She said it'd cost a feckin fortune and I said it would...though I'd bring my own Hummus and a bread roll liberally spread with butter and garlic and she accused me of being silly again...

How many would there be if everyone came she asked...we counted them all up on our fingers and lost count after a hundred...had to start all over again.

We had a bit of a think.

It wouldn't really work would it Granny she said...I answered that I'd rather stick pins in my eyes actually...she giggled and went away to order a take-away Pizza for supper.

We've never mentioned it ever again.

[redted]

Now that sounds like a conversation many people have gone through,let sleeping dogs lie I say Lol

[scorpiolass]

We usually meet all Dave's brothers, sister, nieces & nephews at a pub for lunch. All pay our own, we usually have agreat time, even the young ones like to come. Bit more difficult with my sisters. What was the song, home is just a dream, which with any luck will never come true - some family get togethers are like that. Love Margaret x

[sassy59]

Phew! Got out of that one Vashti and no need for pins either. Big family there and not good of they don't get along. Stand well back from that one eh! Take care xxxx