Hi all

[Thetruemeaningoflove]

I'm new to this site and I am looking for help and support

I am a carer for my dad who has been diagnosed with copd but he refuses to give up smoking. We as a family are devestated and don't know what we can do to support him

Has anyone had to deal with a very stubborn relative? Any suggestions welcome

Thanks

Janet

[etch45]

Janet you will get lots of advice and support on this forum, they have helped me such a lot, we are like one big family, and they look out for one another.

I was a smoker and stopped a long time ago, your Dad will I guess stop in his own time, he wont like being told all of the time stop... stop... give him space and support him. does he know you are on this site?

If not tell him about it and let him see for himself.

Hope all goes well for you all

Love etch45 xxx

[Thetruemeaningoflove in reply to etch45]

Thank you. I have told him that I have joined the site but I don't think that he is ready for this at the moment. Hopefully in time he will show more interest. And we will try not to put too much pressure on him.

Janet

[camping-girl]

My Dad was ill with COPD for years, he couldn't give up smoking....It wasn't until he was on home oxygen that he had to stop! However there are so many alternatives out there nowadays! I stopped 12 years ago & just been dx with copd, however I'm still on nicotine gum. ... buy him an E-cig & ask him to try it, you aren't losing anything x

[Thetruemeaningoflove]

Thank you but at the moment he's not interested in trying any of the alternatives. He refuses to try patches and e-cigarettes. He's a stubborn old thing and set in his ways. I have a feeling dad won't stop until he's on home oxygen also.

And that's our concern as a family that he's speeding the process up.

Janet

[Nanaeal]

Good Morning Janet & welcome. Were a strange but lovable bunch. I am anyway. I smoked for 40 plus's years & have cold. Won't do a thing if anybody tries to make me. Your Dad will get there, he's probably in shockas you all are try to be there for him and with him. Get lots of support for yourself on this site. Best wishes Nan

[CornishBrian]

How old is your dad? Its not a rare thing for people to refuse to give up smoking when they are diagnosed as he smoked before he had been told officially what he was suffering from. He may be thinking that he's done the damage so what is the point of stopping now. There was an old fella puffing away on a fag, coughing his lungs up in the smoking shelter of our local pub. This young lad asked if he could help him in any way. He said no, he's got sever COPD and that what causes the cough. The young lad said "Well you are stupid then, if you know your lungs are shot but you keep on smoking"....the old fella stood up and said "No, you are the stupid one. You are only in your 20's and seeing me and people like me smoking and struggling yet you carry on smoking." true I suppose. Your dad will have to give up at sometime because he wont be well enough to get to the shops and no one will go for him...or will they?

[ERINDOORS]

Janet so sorry to hear of dads problem and your fears , I know it is hard but only your dad can make the decision , i run a support group for COPD patients and I can tell you dad is not alone , I have found that by not putting any pressure on when a person

( smoker) joins our group,but just letting them know they cannot smoke in the hall or in the grounds they are welcome to come along and listen to all the advice on how to help yourself it makes a lot of difference , I them try to pal them up with someone who has given up since joining, another persons ( ex smokers) input is often invaluable and can works better than any pressure from the media or the doctors .

Try to find a local Breathe Easy group and have a word yourself first , it might be the right way for Dad . Lovely that you all care for Dad and i do understand your fear so best wishes to all .

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Sorry this isnt helpful i know but nothing will work unless he wants to pack in x