coping

How do people carry on? Feel like there is no hope. Done the meds, hospitals etc. No way out. xx

[Hidden]

This always HOPE you live the high's manage the lows

And everything else you forget

[sassy59]

Hi brooke, I have asked myself that question sometimes, especially in the past 2 years, because Pete has suffered so much with his back problem on top of copd and sarcoidosis. Every day he is depressed because of the pain but we are pushing to get him sorted out hopefully sooner rather than later at Southampton.

Days and days of endless pain with no end in sight have brought my once strong, cheerful husband to his knees and he has changed dramatically. I just hope that when his back is sorted out he can get back to the person he once was, but who knows.

There is always a way out of depression but what route should anyone take? I think being on this site is a brilliant way of coping with all sorts of upsets, illnesses and yes, depression because we are all here for each other and offer such terrific support and even humour. I would urge you to think about talking to anyone who will listen, take your medication and try and dig deep to pick yourself up if you can. We can all rely on each other of course but ultimately it is you who can best get your head around things.

I do wish you well and hope to hear from you again on here. You are not alone, ever. xxx

[Hidden]

Oh Brooke lovely - there is hope. Spring is just about to dawn, the bulbs are popping their heads up, the days are getting longer and we will all feel much better. The worst part is over! As soon as the weather warms up a little I am sure you will feel much better, much more hopeful. With lots and lots of love TAD xxx

[aberdeenman]

hi brooke I think we all feel like theres no hope at times, I certainly have the last couple months with constantly being on ab and steroids, but after being in hospital on Monday and doctors today, were going try without ab as my chest is clearer and just carry on with steroids as still getting very breathless doing very little. just one day at a time and we know once weather gets better things get easier. and you always get a lot help on here if you feel theres no hope always someone give you any advice you need to pick you up.

tam

[Sokrackers]

Ow, Brooke sorry you are feeling down today, i take each day at a time, after I put a bad day to bed I hope for a better tomorrow. Don't look back and dwell - look forward and hope - I keep telling myself 'you can still see the stars from the gutter!'

Lets hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Take care

[Hidden]

It might not work for you but I immerse myself in something...last night I was listening to Pavarotti on YouTube...that glorious voice took me to another place far away from being tethered to oxygen and the sharp frost outside...a really good book, whether it's a cheap detective thriller or something more profound ...a little vase of the first of the spring flowers...a delicious slice of cake and a mug of hot chocolate with some marshmallows...find whatever works for you and use it...love and bright blessings Brooke xxx

[mikeadams51]

By always looking on the bright side of life

[CornishBrian]

Only one thing can help you and you have control of that...it's how you think about it. Start by looking at whats good and then count your blessings. See where you can go from the point you are at. Make a list if necessary showing things as they are now and as you want them...being realistic. Then start on the priority ones. If necessary, give each item a number from 1 to 10 ...1 being the easiest achievable and 10 being the hardest...now you have a target. Take aim and fire. For example. If one of the items is to relieve boredom, I would sort of analise what I do now. 9am Breakfast. 9.30 Sit in chair on laptop. .....!3.00pm. Put tele on.....10pm switch tele off, go to bed. OK. Break it up now. Get breakfast and do the pots....even if every tea spoon is a struggle because , guess what, by next week you will have mastered it. For me, Tele is a time waster but a means of wasting time...I can always find some way to justify it too....so, get a book and read for an hour, get up, have a tidy around, do some paperwork, write a couple of letters, send some e-mails...anything but put the tele on. Just start going through your list bit by bit and changing things. Your illness....time to take control of that too. This forum and other forums like it are great for keeping in touch with others but at times, it can be your own worst enemy. Every problem put on here , can, if you aren't too careful, be your proble. It can get to the stage where you are burdened down with worries and anxieties that are nothing to do with you in reality....you need to shed them and start looking ahead. Have you done PR course recently? No? then that should be on your list of things to sort out. If you have never done one before, it is one of the best medicines known to man and woman....the bond with others, the fun and laughter, the team work but most of all...the feeling that you have achieved something monumental. Please give it a try, try anything and make a stand. You can conquer this and be in control....if you just start by making small moves and adjustments.

[stillmovin in reply to CornishBrian]

Good answer CornishBrian...

[Hidden in reply to CornishBrian]

Do you think I have not tried my best to resolve my issues? Find your remarks very insulting and not a great help.

[CornishBrian in reply to Hidden]

You have put nothing in your post about what you have or haven't done. Sorry if you find it insulting but I have stage 4 COPD not a masters degree in mindreading. If anyone should feel insulted, it's me. You put a couple of lines asking for help. I spent a considerable amount of time formulating my answer and then typing it in between bouts of coughing and needing assistance. Please make it clear in your posts in future...if all you want is sympathy, I shalln't bother to read it, never mind reply. Have to go now as my transport is here to take me to hospital...about to start my fourth different course fo treatment for my cancer...the others didn't work. Please enjoy your wallow in self pity while I get on enjoying the rest of my very short future.

[stillmovin]

brooke12 there are great answers already offered here from others to you. I couldn't agree more with them all. My input is that I understand exactly how you are feeling and it does hit you but there are sometimes days, or moments in a day, when you might feel you have controlled something about it all. I am waiting to see the GP tomorrow about something which showed up on either my sputum test or blood test, the receptionist can't tell me which. So I now spend today with a dark cloud hanging over me and that, as well as this chest infection that I can't shake off since last month. We are all in it together here. However, the doctor may say something about the test results being ok after all, or the infection may just clear up. Who knows? My sister has breast cancer and ulcerative colitis, she has to go out to work every day to keep her family going. 70 years ago people had to sleep in freezing huts, were starved and then killed in Auschwitz. It may not help you hearing all that but I try to put my situation into perspective. It is difficult to do. I pray. I try everyday to make sure I chat to a neighbour, a friend on the phone, send an email, go onto this site, get out for even just a short walk. I am still anxious, that's another vulnerable spot. I know how you feel. You have done a brilliant thing by reaching out to others on this site, it is a major step and many people with COPD & whatever other respiratory illnesses exist, don't even know this site exists. There is a general wave of warmth and support here and I appreciate it more because I have been on other (non-health-related) forums where people are attacking each other with their words, so we are all blessed here. OK, I am going on for rather too long here, but perhaps that shows that you and I can get our worries and fears out by typing them all down here for others' supportive input. Many many blessings to you. Keep going. We are all trying to do it too. xxx stillmovin1

[FarmerD]

Hello Brooke,you may not think so but most of us have and still do occasionally feel the way you,re feeling right now.I tend to think of all the children who are sick and Don,t understand why.How awful they must feel.It puts my situation in perspective.We adults know it,s not to do with being naughty or bad but simply because some of us get sick and we have to find whatever it is to cope.there,s always some one worse off than me so I just shrug and get on with living best I can,it,s hard but we have no choice.There must be some things you still enjoy concentrate on those .Hope you feel better soon.Regards D.

[jeanlock]

hi brooke,you feel sorry for your self and then hope it passes take care,xx

[huggs]

Hi Brooke,

There is nothing I can add to the advice and support aready given, again. You have been down this road several times now Brooke and always get support and excellent advice, but you make no mention of what is really bothering you, or what you have done, other than a very vague mention of meds and hospitals. The truth is that we all have days or longer when we feel like you, and most of us have multiple health issues, and many of them very severe, just like Cornish Brian for example. He tried his best to help you, and yet you insulted him!! No need for that.

We all have to develop coping mechanisms, and try our best to concentrate on the positive and keep aa determination burning to make the best we can of each day. Keeping busy within our limitations is one way, and there are loads more, but you have to find what is right for you.

If you have true clinical depression then you need more help than you can get on here, and while we all sympathise and hope you feel better, we can only offer so much...... just support, advice, sympathy and our experiences which you have had in abundance several times, and it isn't enough for you. Maybe you should seek professional help, which you have done in the past, and get to the root of what is really troubling you, and develop coping strategies for the not so good days. Have you considered trying a depression or anxiety forum which I believe are available on HU, and elsewhere I am soure?

I also think you owe Cornish Brian an apology, but that is up to yuou and cour conscience.

I hope you find what you need, but you need to give yourself a good shake, and make a determined effort, which is easier said than done, but we all have to do it, just to get through the days. You are far from alone, believe you me.

Take care,

hugs from Huggs xxxx apologeies for typing errors.

[Hidden in reply to huggs]

Hello Huggs yes most of us do have multiple health problems me included. I would just like to thank you for your support that you have given me in the past. Best wishes for the future. xx

[huggs in reply to Hidden]

Hi Brooke,

You are welcome, and I do wish that you could get the help you need, and maybe consider going back to your doctor, or another practice if your present one isn't giving you the help you need. Take care, and let us know how you get on, as people do care, and I realise it is difficult when on your own, and maybe have too much time on your hands to dwell on things, which is why I suggested some way of keeping busy within your limitations. Something you enjoy, or some voluntary work in your area maybe. Its hard, I know to get yourself going at times, but sadly no one can wave a magic wand for us, lol we have to do it ourselves with help if needed.

Good luck, and wishing you get the help you need.

Take care,

hugs from Huggs xxxx ps This feeling will pass again, just as it did before, so hang in there, its all we can do. xx

[Suzy6]

Hi brooke You have had some wonderful replies on here. We all understand and I am crying with you but there comes a time when our medical team need a little help from us. I have had a bad time since October and I'm still more than a little concerned over some health issues but I have decided that I'm going to adopt a positive attitude and get as fit as I can for the next round of tests. Yes I will get down again, we all do. I find doing little things for other people just something unexpected and I see how happy and pleased they are has my spirits and mood soaring. I have been very lucky in that all my medical team have been wonderful, even when I was scared they helped me through the procedure I was dreading. Please give it a try brooke. xxx

[Hidden in reply to Suzy6]

Thank you Suzy for your message. Sorry to hear you have not been so good. I hope the future is better for you. Best wishes xx