A Scots boy came home from school one day and told his mother he had been given a Part in a school play.
"Wonderful," says the mother,"what part is it?"
The boy say,"I play the part of a Scottish husband!"
The mother scrowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
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The man in his kingdom 
Worried about asbestos exposure and dust left in house
I might just shoot that seagull! 
