With only a couple of days left we finally managed to place G. and K....they went to a larger council run place with promises from Harry to get them into smaller homes as soon as he could...
So then it was just the two of us and the cats and two dogs...Jessie, a Belgian Shepherd and Baldrick, a feisty Yorkshire Terrier.
We had brought all the packed boxes downstairs and the dining room was full...the washing machine had been going non-stop...the ovens sparkled and the laundry and kitchen were immaculate...I just had to vacuum everywhere ready for the landlord to come and inspect...
He was a nice old chap...expressed delight at the power shower we'd had installed and loved the glass in front of the open fire in the dining room...he gave us the deposit back with more besides and said he could rent out again immediately because everywhere was so well-kept. He hadn't seen me charging about in a demented fashion with damp cloths and liberal amounts of 'clean everything' stuff in a squirty spray...
Fingers was an hour late, which didn't endear him to me one bit and he had a University Student with him rather than his usual mate who was off sick...
Our jaws dropped when Fingers opened up the back of the removal lorry and it was already half full of furniture...
Erm...what's that I asked...part load, he answered quick as a flash...that's going up North after we've dropped your stuff.
I debated whether or not to argue that we hadn't paid for a part load...we'd expected a whole lorry to ourselves but the 'phone had already been disconnected and this was before mobiles were in general use...so I sighed instead.
The student...whose name I can't remember, so I'll call him John...he'd disappeared. I found him in the veggie garden eating radishes and suggested it might be a good idea if he started heaving furniture about...he looked vaguely about and said Oh...ok.
Eventually...after much huffing and puffing and cursing, everything was crammed into the space left for our things...
I put the keys through the letterbox and waited by the gate while Fingers drove out onto the road followed by Himself in the car.
Shut the gate and that was the end of ten years of our lives.
We were travelling on the overnight ferry from Anglesey to Dublin port while Fingers and John were following us the next day...
The cats were fast asleep before we reached the end of the road...surrounded by sleeping bags and the kettle and boxes of last minute odds and ends...Jessie and Baldrick sat right at the back...we had an estate car...gazing out of the window and being waved at by passing small children. They were wedged in as well, with jackets and walking boots and their bag of food and their bowls.
It was a good journey actually...the cats carried on sleeping...the dogs skipped about in lay-bys and had a pee and a drink...
When we reached the ferry-port, the bloke who organised which car was going where, saw we had the animals and told us to pull to one side for a few minutes. Then he directed us to one of the favoured parking places on deck...'No fumes from the lorries up here' he shouted through the window...'better for your pets'...I said thank you ever so much and told the pets to be good and we'd see them later...we went straight to the bar and had large stiff drinks.
We were both so exhausted from the travelling and the packing up that neither one of us could sleep...we'd gone beyond it and so spent the journey reading and trying to avoid being vomited on by those who couldn't quite make it to the loos on time.
Once we'd reached the cottage and let the dogs roam about and had a cup of coffee we laid the sleeping bags on the safest and cleanest looking floor and slept for hours...and hours.
The following morning dawned with brilliant sunshine and a warm breeze and a very irate Fingers coming up the boreen...
'You found us then' I said brightly...he let rip. He couldn't be expected to bring the lorry up that effin road with all those effin potholes and it was too narrow to turn round and he was supposed to be up North by mid-morning and the effin lorry was broken into during the night and all your effin wine has gone! 'Gosh' I said...'it's not looking too good then'
John came then...walking very slowly indeed and he asked did we have a loo and I said we did indeed...no glass in the windows but we do have a loo...he disappeared in the general direction of the front door...there wasn't a front door but there was a space where one ought to be...
We stood about then for a while debating what to do about the lorry and whether we ought to have a nice cup of coffee to set us all up for what lay ahead...I made the coffee and handed a mug to Fingers, whose cheeks were still quite pink from his tantrum.
Back it up, said Himself...back the lorry up the boreen...Fingers glared at him and muttered.
John emerged from the bathroom and he and Fingers walked all the way to get the lorry and back it up the laneway...
It was quite appalling...once they'd reached the front of the cottage you've never seen boxes move so fast I swear...Fingers kept up with the effin and blinding and John stood about like a lost soul...I think he was stoned actually...
When the very last piece of furniture and the very last box had been unloaded I called Fingers and John over...then explained in words of one syllable that they wouldn't be getting a tip...and I'd put some money aside for a hefty tip...and then I explained I was exceedingly cross that our home-made wine had been 'stolen' and that Fingers might be more careful about where he chose to leave his lorry with other peoples belongings in overnight...I said I was keeping every single blanket that the furniture was wrapped in even though the agreement was to give them back...and I'd be writing to the management of the removal firm to complain...as soon as I'd unearthed my typewriter.
John shuffled his feet...Fingers went a bit pink again.
They clambered into the lorry cab and drove at great speed down the narrow boreen.
We were home.
Serving The Food At A Tai Chi Weekend...
