When the hot weather descended upon us a few weeks back,I retreated to my bedroom where I had an air conditioner,which was just wonderful 30 degrees to 20 degrees in ten mins Where I sit downstairs gets really hot indeed which was bringing many panic attacks as struggling to breathe .So happy days I felt so lucky to have my cooling machine.Supplies and kettle were bought upstairs for me in the evening my David cooked dinner via the intercom bless him.My only movements being fidgeting on the bed as gets so uncomfortable and the 6 paces to the loo!!! Why I dont know but just didnt consider that actually this lack of movement would have a bad effect on my body! All I could think of was keeping cool.I became obsessed with the temperature and looking at weather reports.I remember one day I read the weather for the following week,oh no scorching all week panicking telling myself that I wouldnt be going downstairs then either! One day my David said it was going to be cooler so I did come down as I walked to where I sit the heat felt like I'd arrived in Bombay it was 28 degrees panic enveloped me and all I could think of was 'I must get back-up the blimming stairs to my safe haven' very slowly I slithered back upstairs.
Well there I stayed for 3 1/2 weeks !!! I eventually descended last friday and have come down everyday since the weather now perfect for me.But oh boy this has had a disastrous effect on me physically,Iam weak and sob such a struggle.The first day I happily poodled about did a mammoth wash-up,my David was good but he no likey the washing up every plate ,bowl,cup knives and forks and saucepan had been used and I have a lot .I cooked dinner and tidied up after, so felt quite pleased with myself although puffy all day it felt good to be back in the land of the living.Next day not good no energy no breath to do ,really struggled and the days since Iam hoping that I will build myself back up again do hope Ive not gone down a rung on that ladder surely not eh ?
Having been in a low place for several months now I have found myself looking for 'something?' to help lift me out of this negative hole I've been in and find some purpose and happiness to my life. I thought about going to church but Im really not a goddy person at all so shelved that idea.
Well by chance I saw a past interview with Steven Seagal (an actor),what a nice man,calm peaceful and very real.Well it turns out that he is a Buddhist.Yes folks maybe Ive lost the plot completely!! but I have been reading up on it and so far its ticking my boxes.There is no worshipping of a 'God' its more a phylosophy than a religion ,a way of living.Iam also drawn into the meditation side as has been proven to really help people with depression,pain an chronic illnesses,and as luck would have it starting new this September a Buddhist meditation centre is starting in my area,'rock on Tommy '.
I can be a hughly critical person who generally see the pitfalls and downsides first.I want to change me ,my way isnt very nice at times bit of a know it all at times.I want to learn that if I have nothing nice to say ,THEN HUSH YOUR MOUTH JANE! Good Karma is what Im aiming for I know it will take a while I have a life time of automatic neggie habits to deal with, but Im going to give it a damn good try.
Are you all sleeping now haha.
Just saying...
Time for a cuppa now thank-you for reading my waffle you know me peeps.
Please excuse all spelling mistakes
Be Happy
Keep well now
Breathe easy
Janexx
Written by
longlungs
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No most certainly not Jane. It all seems to make sense to me. I'm not really a church person. Having dealt a great deal with Priests and Vicars in business I found a number to by very unchristian and hypocritical. I truly believe you can show your faith in your everyday actions. You are a very nice person Jane. It shows in your posts. Take care xx
Hi bobsmum nice to meet you.Yes its easy to be stuck in that trap and as you say health issues kinda feed that negativity sometimes.Last night I was chatting with my son about it and he gets this Buddhism too,well I have a beautiful buddha ornament from my mother must be 40 years old,my David asked if he could put it on his desk at work,the first words to leave my mouth were "dont let anybody nick it!" I corrected myself by saying" look after it "and we both giggled at me and my mouth.Takecare Janexx
Hi Suzy its a touchy subject isnt it ,at the end of the day i guess its what rocks your boat and if what ever we believe helps,go for it.But I agree with you I have to say.How kind you are thank-you Suzy.Keepwell now Janexx
Sheer determination, L.L. you wont give in. I am not a religious person, but sometimes think I am missing out on something that could give me comfort, but with all that has happened in the last few months, I did do a lot of thinking and found an inner comfort - a sort of DIY faith. I have spoken to Quakers who are such a serene people without a lot of rituals and fancy stuff. Buddhism - never really thought about that - dont think they have a meeting place around here. Dont call your thoughts waffle, Jane. They are your opinion and worth listening. Love P xx
Hi Pergola its a funny ole life we lead .I also am looking and wanting change in me.I have envied people with their faiths but the normal religions are not for me.With Buddhism its about the individual and their way of living the continuing cycle of life what you put in you shall reap,Im not that knowledgeable about it all yet ,but if I can learn to meditate I think this will probably have quite a profound effect on me.The emptying of my mind will be a challenge in it self to rid my head of all the other little heads that seem to reside inside.But I really feel that this has come from me looking for something so Im hoping I might just be successful.Thank-you Pergola Janexx
You go long lungs I really like the Buddhist stuff, especially the stuff about letting go, also like the fact that they say it's not a good idea to whack each other about ! On an other note the hot weather over the past couple of weeks has been really hard to manage, hope your more comfortable now. I'm off to bed in a minute, sweet dreams everyone x x x
Hi Medow good to see you hope your keeping well? Yes this Buddhism is certainly very interesting to me,makes sense,Rome wasnt built in a day so I need to be patient .Oh boy the weather,dont like to knock it but it kicks me to the floor so to speak.Im glad for this week is so much better.My Carrie-Ann (daughter) said we were going to have a long spell of the hottest weather on record soon!!! I almost passed out on the spot I hope it stays a rumour .Hope you slept well medow see you soon and thank-you. Janexx
Hi longlungs, just to say that I have just finished a Mindfullness course which was organised by a local charity to help people with long term health conditions. Meditation and learning to live in the moment were central and based on Buddhist beliefs. Only problem was the walk from the car park and trying to stop the panic that comes with breathlessness!
If you look on you tube there are meditations there, I found Andy Puddicombe helpful...he used to be a Buddhist monk...and there are lots of restful scenes on you tube too which help me to relax. Take care
Hi knitter that sounds like it was a good course to do did you find it helpful? I shall be looking at Andy Puddicombe this evening thank-you for sharing.I really get that feeling when so sob its a scary feeling really dont like it myself and try to fight by talking to myself rapidly in the hope of kicking it in to touch,sometimes im successful,I can be my own worst enemy though at times.I know I have a strong will and mind just need to learn how to channel it in a different direction.I do feel quite uplifted at the thought of change .My David found some relaxation music which played all night it was lovely and I nodded off very quickly for me which is saying something as im a nightmare Well you keep well hows the smoking going? Janexx
We are the change we want to see in the world ... gandi was right x
Hi juliekkay how very true those words are.Im not that knowledgeable on Gandi but I shall do some homework and find out more.Thank-you gosh I have a lot to learn ,how exciting really looking forward to it all.Hope your well at the mo Janexx
Hi jeanielee haha thank-you.Yes I most definitely will Im really looking forward to learning how to switch off those million thoughts that rattle round my grey matter Take care Janexx
Hi Jane, brave of you to broach such an emotive subject as religion.It,s strikes me that it is as individual as Copd .Established religions have always worried me with all the connections to wars.Buddhism is the closest thing I,ve come across to how I feel.God is within an it,s how you treat other people that counts.I,ll stop now before I start getting stick for being a nutter lol.So glad you,ve found some comfort and something to concentrate your beliefs on.Enjoy your contemplations ,all the best!D.
Hi D yes it wasnt till I was half way through writing I wondered about the subject,but you are right courses for horses and all that.Again you are so right its our own behaviour and how we treat others hopefully the way we would like to be treated eh.If your a nutter D then Iam too,am I bovvered nah! Im excited about this new journey of learning good new ways of living my life.Thank-you happy days.Have you managed to sort your scooter out yet?,they are brilliant opened my life back up and gave me back some independence .Keepwell now Janexx
Oh thats brilliant D made up for you.Your'll have an absolute ball,I have with my gertie as I call her .Have had some very funny moments.Enjoy my friend no speeding Janexx
What a great post Jane and good to see you have found something you can maybe believe in. Why not enjoy being a Buddhist, you have nothing to lose and could actually get some benefits from it. After what you have been through recently, good on you! Do come back on and let us know how it all goes. I would love to hear about your experiences. Take care and thinking of you. xxxxxx
Hi sassy thank-you I hope so too and I dont have to sit in the Lotus position or shave my head haha.The start of a new chapter in my life ,a very good thing me thinks.Yes I will they dont start till September,but there is much I can be reading and trying in the mean time.How are you? Janexx
Hi Jane, I am ok thanks but poor Pete is still struggling with his prolapsed disc. Ouch! I hope the spinal cord stimulation appointment comes through soon, poor man. You take care. xxxxxx
Good post Jane as we all suffer these downs, many of us recently fighting the effects of the weather. I should think a good number of us have been more depressed than normal over the last couple of months.
I know being inactive is bad for my depression but if Buddhism helps you then go for it, it always sounds good to me except of course they will not swat creepy crawlies! as they consider all life is precious.
Hi emmo yes many of us suffered, blimming weather roll on Autumn I say haha.Yes Im looking forward to my experience. Im sure we are allowed to defend if attacked and mosquitoes definitely attack me but Im not a 100% sure.Meditation is what I want to learn I think there will be many benefits that can only make my life better, by being more relaxed ,calm and peaceful has to help with how I deal with my difficult brain and my poor old lungs so this is all good Im sure. Hope your keeping well Janexx
Bravo for posting how you've been feeling Jane and what your thinking about doing to change. I think it takes a lot of courage.
It's never too late to make changes for our own & others well being.
Mediation is a brilliant tool, just start with a minute at a time and build it up - a bit like exercise, you have to start somewhere and a minute is better than nothing!
I used to be an NLP Practitioner which is basically changing your mind set of habitual unhelpful thoughts. Paul McKenna was one of my teachers and he has some excellent CDs on changing, lots of reviews on Amazon.
There's a beautiful Buddhist Temple a mile away by Wimbledon Common, everyone is welcome there, it just feels good knowing there is a haven of peace, love, kindness, tranquility & positivity nearby. I'm sure it's true what they say - smile and the world smiles with you. Karma
I do kill moths & mozis and always say a little prayer that it wasn't someone's reincarnation
Hi Peeg thank-you so much for your reply Iagree with you its never to late to change and this will definitely be a good change for me anyway.You made me smile re the mozzies I too always apologise to them about their demise,yes I will have to take that into account the reincarnation of somebody,I do now leave a light on in my loo next to my bedroom and hope they fly towards the light and not my body.I think the Temple in Wimbledon would be closest to me as it happens.I absolutely believe smile and the world smiles with you.Yes giving good Karma will bring the same back to you.Its all very interesting Ive much to learn. Hope your keeping well peeg. Janexx
Haha, yes, I leave the downstairs hall light on so they go down there in the night
Be sure to let me know if you decide to come over to the temple. I could go with you and we'd be two little novices !
Hi Jane good to see you. I understand how you feel about the religious thing. I was brought us as C of E but don't actively follow the teachings or go to church. Because of the hypocracy I won't call myself a Christian but do practise some of the values such as tolerance and kindness towards others. Too many go to church but (in my experience) don't practise what they preach and are very intolerant towards others. Some do of course and they are great people.
I did flirt with Budhism myself some years ago and attended a couple of meetings with friends who had converted. It does make a lot of sense but when faced with abandoning my religion I couldn't do it and dropped out. Everyone has to find their own way in life and good for you.
Poor you having to stay in your bedroom because of the heat. I couldn't imagine what it feels like struggling to breathe like you do. It must be dreadful. You are bound to be less fit than you were so my advice is to start some very gentle exercises (perhaps the COPD ones?) and rebuild yourself up.
You will get there Jane and I am sending you lots of love. xxx
Hi coughalot nice to see you too.I do agree with you re religions they have never felt comfortable to me.This Buddhism though is ticking my boxes so far.Time will tell but I do have a positive feel about it.Absolutely each to their own and there are many choices out there .
Oh dont damn heat I became quite neurotic about it,glad things have cooled down somewhat .Yes I will build back up just takes a while I'll get there. Hows you doing? Janexx
Oh I am fine thanks Jane. Thank you for asking when you are suffering so much. Am thinking of you honey bunch. Hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jane))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xxx
Oh wow coughalot you have made me giggle that's a hugg and a half ! I'm glad alls well with you though,good game, :). :). Janexx
Hi Jane, I know very little about Buddhism and avoiding organised religion has been the only religion I've pursued since adulthood. But like you I sonetimes wish there was something I could align myself with that would make life more meaningful and maybe bring a little consolation and acceptance with it too. Being ill brings this into much sharper focus and the need for meaning becomes greater as we face our own mortality. Good luck On your 'spiritual' journey and I hope you find a way that helps you .
Hi Argana thank-you.I dont know very much myself but it feels like a fit so far.I have been the same as you and avoided religion and you are right in that having poor health does make those grey cells work and make for looking at oneself.Iam wanting something so I shall walk this new road and see where I end up going.Meditation has to be a hugh benefit I think, I do hope I can do it.I hope you too can find your 'something'whatever that might be.Happy days Argana Janexx
On a more practical note Jane, have you tried the hand-held fan for attacks of sob ? I read about it here and now keep one handy especially at night. Just turn it on and hold it in front of your face when very breathless, it helps a lot.
Hello again you are absolutely right about having a fan I always carry one where ever I go it really does help you,wouldnt be without it. Janexx
Hi Jane,what a lovely post.Sorry to hear that you had to hide in your bedroom for so long though,lol.Airconditioning is wonderful though isint it? Couldn't live without it,here in OZ.
Good luck with the Buddhist teachings,I used to work with a few of them,& must say,I was impressed at how serene they were!
I do think whatever religion etc. that one believes in,is a blessing,& does help with struggles in the daily life.
Have fun researching it all,I can just see you whizzing down to the temple,with Gertie!
Hi Wendells bless thank-you.I know darn hot weather think I went a bit barmyarmy with it.Oh yes I love my machine.When Ive heard you mention the temperatures you have down there in Oz Ive had a panic attack just reading about it lol as you say you cant be without aircon no way hose!
Couldnt agree more Wendells whatever suits re religion if it helps that has to be a good thing and brings those a lot of comfort and strength of mind nowt wrong with that at all.Ifeel Im missing 'something' and have happened on this and the little research ive done so far seems to suit me where I find myself at the moment.Haha yes 'too the temple Gertie'
We have a dishwasher whats he like he had loaded it but not pressed the on button,so while that was doing I did some in the sink ,the kitchen was a state I have to say!We cant have it all eh he was good he cooked nearly everynight for over 3 weeks not bad really.When he's good he's really good but when he is bad he is dreadful lol.
Iam well just gotta build my strength up again i'll get there when Im 93 haha.
Hope alls going well in your camp ? Keepwell now you hear Janexx
Hi Longlungs well is ok for some taking to the bed been waited on hand and foot but I know what you mean about the hot whether you should of got your scooter out and gone for a spin to cool you down.
Hi onamission how funny yes iam lucky and do very much appreciate their help.The heat just knocks me sideways,even without the weather if I have one of those lady tropical moments apart from ripping my clothes off my breathing and coughing is affected in an instant.I think the weather thing just mentally got to me and I just felt to scared to leave my cool room stupid of me .Over now fortunately.Keepwell see you soon Janexx
Hi Bethan yes your not wrong. I have never had a faith so I can only imagine what that is like. I have always tried to treat people well as I hope people would with me.
How's you at the moment,what have you been up to don't see you that often these days. Hope your keeping well though. Janexx
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Where I sit downstairs gets really hot indeed which was bringing many panic attacks as struggling to breathe 
.So happy days I felt so lucky to have my cooling machine.Supplies and kettle were bought upstairs for me in the evening my David cooked dinner via the intercom bless him.My only movements being fidgeting on the bed as gets so uncomfortable and the 6 paces to the loo!!! Why I dont know but just didnt consider that actually this lack of movement would have a bad effect on my body! All I could think of was keeping cool.I became obsessed with the temperature and looking at weather reports.I remember one day I read the weather for the following week,oh no scorching all week 
.I cooked dinner and tidied up after, so felt quite pleased with myself although puffy all day it felt good to be back in the land of the living.Next day not good no energy no breath to do ,really struggled and the days since 
but I have been reading up on it and so far its ticking my boxes.There is no worshipping of a 'God' its more a phylosophy than a religion ,a way of living.Iam also drawn into the meditation side as has been proven to really help people with depression,pain an chronic illnesses,and as luck would have it starting new this September a Buddhist meditation centre is starting in my area,'rock on Tommy 
I'm not a morning person
Just saying hi from Lincoln
Just a bit of news 
A pint of cider and a packet of crisps please, I'm celebrating!
A Bit Of A Grumble...
