Smoking, Copd, and much more, there is a light at the end of that tunnel.

[Steamtrain1958]

Hi everyone, Have been reading lots of your posts, ref Copd, smoking weight loss, am newish to the site and hope you don't fall asleep reading this

I am now in my mid 50s and have smoked since I was 10. Yeah everyone has the good advice about giving up, but I believe, unless you are ready nothing will make you do it. Let me explain that theory of thinking.

I was 35 when I finally settled down got married and had a baby, I never thought my father would walk me down the aisle, as he had severe Copd ephazima, sorry spelt wrong. He did but 10 months later died, that rocked my boat, as my dad was my dad, mate, confidant, shoulder, crutch, rock. I knew I was not breathing very well and feared that I would end up with my dads ailments. Did I stop smoking,(The root cause of the problem for me) no did I hell, I,ll be ok it won't happen to me. Even having nursed my husband after just 6years of marriage, and he passed away with smoking related big C, did I stop well of course I didn't, because, IT WON'T HAPPEN TO ME! I continue to smoke, my breathing, progressively got worse. But that was the starting point.

On my 50th birthday, celebrating in Tintagel, everyone kept whispering as to the weight I had lost, over a couple of years I went from a healthy 9 and a half stone, to 6 and a half, being 5.7 tall I looked like a biafran seen more meat on a butchers apron as the saying goes. I still thought that I was untouchable, it won't happen to me, untill 8weeks ago.

I woke up couldn't breath, or walk the 6 steps to the loo, I tried all the exercise for calming the breathing taught at Copd re-hab, and managed to get to kitchen, only to start screaming for my son. How do you scream for help when you can't breath, is beyond me, but thank god I was heard. Hey guys enough is enough, let me explain where I am now, thanks to all the posts I have read. I left hospital the first 2week stay, and still thought I was untouchable, so bought a pack of 10 cigs. Pleased to say I didn't smoke them all as I had to keep hiding from my son who is so anti cigs, it was painfully. Following another trip to hospital, when I was so bad that I was air lifted from my home, frightening, I am now on track in respect of the smoking, Copd and also coping with the triggers that cause both the temptation of the cigs, and flare ups of Copd exasperations. I do not profess to have any answers but what I am doing I working for me. Apart from that pack of ten cigs, I am now smoke free since 22august managing my breathing following meeting with Copd nurse, and breathing technics from physio, within that same team, and managing moments of stress, with trigger conditions and habits. As for the weight, I am still just over six stones, but got into the shower earlier and actually felt good about my self, didn't have my rose tinted glasses on, promise, but didn't look quite like something out of Biafra. There are lots of things that I have altered in my lifestyle, and far too many really to carry on now, but I will come back and tell you about the changes I have made for me, who knows maybe one of them may work for someone else, one of you. Sleep well all of you, lokoing forward to reading all your news tomorrow. X

[Toci]

Hi Steamtrain - yes, we have all been there I think. I know I could always find a reason (excuse) to smoke and delay the quit date, repeatedly. But I got there in the end. Many, many congratulations for giving up the poison! You are doing so well. And now you will gain a little weight, maybe too much! Looking forward to hearing more from you. x

[Hidden]

Welcome Steamtrain, You have every reason to feel good about yourself for giving up the cigarettes. Nobody on here judges new members, only try to offer support. Most of us have had the same battle to face and eventually come through the other side. You have obviously had a rough time healthwise and I hope your condition improves soon and you manage to gain a little weight. Let us know how you get on. Joyce.

[Steamtrain1958]

Thankyou all so much, after posting what I had written, I went to the kit ken to get a pre bed scooby snack, and when I got back my e.mail was filling up, firstly I must have done it right, and you are all there as if you are all sat on the edge of my bed,

THANKYOU xx

[Hidden]

Welcome Steamtrain1958

Well done for stopping the smokes, the best thing you could do for yourself.

x BC

[newlands]

very well done keep it up think of all the money you have saved .take care

Dorothyxx

[Poppyness]

Welcome Steamtrain1958 xxx

[longlungs]

Hello Steamtrain how well are you doing thats just great you must feel so good about that,I know I do am only 4 weeks but im surprised everyday when I wake coz i automaticly think ciggie now i say oh yes i dont anymore .Then have my first smile of the day.Really nice to meet you see you soon. Janexx

[Steamtrain1958 in reply to longlungs]

Hello long lungs. When I saw your name, I had to smile. That's what the doctors have said is part of my problem, as my lungs are very long, therefor the reason why I seen to have one chest infection on top of another, as I don't seem to clear all the muck from the bottom of the lungs. Well done with the four weeks cig free, I promise you when you get to eight weeks, you really will be on top of the world, I sure was. I now say when I get the chance to anyone, how long I have been smoke free, and the smile on my face goes from ear to ear. I still am able to work, although have been off for almost nine weeks now, and intend to go back on Thursday 24th. My boss was always saying to me, come lets grab a cig and have a quick chat, so still have that hurdle to jump over, especially as she has seen me and when I say how long ive been smoke free I get the feeling that she will try to tempt me back, one of those weak moments, a bit of stress. Would be nice if she just said well done, your looking good, but she hasn't . Oh well, will keep you posted on that. Keep up the good healthy smoke free days, with you all the way. June x

[junespoon in reply to Steamtrain1958]

Hi June, you are really doing so well, The same as you many years ago whilst I was ill managed to pack the cigs up the hard part was when I went back to work, as most of my work mates were smokers, They would be saying coming out for a cig, to begin with I really was tempted, as I felt that I was missing out, Then as winter came on and they came back in freezing, I thought No I am not missing out, plus my clothes didn't smell ,and my house when I came in from work smelt lovely and fresh, You can always meet up for coffee after work for a catch up, Oh yes I lasped once was when a friend left a packet of twenty and lighter on my coffee table, that was too much and then was back on them, But then all ok friends have to smoke in the garden, You will get there good luck stay strong, would love to know how you got the weight back on, as That's me at the min skin and bone X Heather

[Steamtrain1958 in reply to junespoon]

Hi heather, thanks for the reply, I don't have time to smoke too busy reding and replying to all the messages from other members, it's great, I now don't feel like one of those statistics that they mentioned last night on tv about how many people in Britain are lonely,. Ok how do, did ,am I stopping the cravings. I DO EXACTLY what I WANT,. So just to expand on that. We all have things to do in the morning that have to be done, I emphasis the HAVE TO DO. So I do all that crap first, job done now I can please myself. Every time I open that door every thing falls out, god does that pee me off, not any more because that cupboard is so tidy and all the bits inside have there place, the day has gone by and oh yeah I haven't thought about a fag for well I don't know how long! In the middle of most jobs, and to be honest several times throughout, I have that moment of, yeah I feel a little peck ish. Every time I eat I only have again, what I WANT. It does not matter who else is in the house, it's my food, and its my time to eat. Cannot wait for my son, and dont fancy what he will want, and maybe he will have eaten at the girlfriends already.I know that sounds so selfish, but It works. Tonight was a prime example. I spent several hours cleaning and moving, sliding on the floor the few bit of furniture in my dining room, as I didnt like it how it was. Had no Idea what the time was when the boy and partner turned up. As he could see I was in a good mood, and obviously busy, he just fended for himself, and the next thing there was an abundance of chicken, (KFC) sort of stuff in the oven. He said he was hungry, and my tummy said. And so am I. So I threw together some salt and pepper prawns, made up earlier, and a wedge of Camembert breaded, on mixed saled with balsamic sauce, not vinegar, and red currant jelly. Wow that sounds lush, could eat it all over again. When my son came into the kitchen and saw what I was doing he said, "you never said you were doing prawns," as he loves these ones. So I replayed. "you never asked" . I know that sounds hard, but if I had said to him do you want some i would have ended up cooking for him first, and then I would have gone past that crucial moment, which is what used to happen, and another ten fags would substitute the food that I would miss so often, so now, yes sorry guys, I am selfish, for my own self preservation. So eat drink walk do and any other thing you want for your self because you are the only person that matters right now. Yes I love me son, and yes he knows as he has been told, what I am doing and why. Find things to do, there is always something to be cleaning tidied swapped around, and when you get to the end of that task, just go for a short walk to the garden, oh no look at the state of that!

The proof of the pudding is in the eating, when I went into hospital on 22 August I was weighed in at 6st2lb. Got weighed again today, 6st11lb. Boy do I feel good. Good luck keep putting the food in.. There you go that's what I do. June xx

[Hidden]

Oh Steamtrain what a lovely post. I was nearly in tears reading it. I am so so sorry about your poor dad. It must have been very traumatic for you and all the family. I think it's great you are turning your life around and hope to have you with us for many years yet. That's the trouble though as you said - it's not going to happen to me syndrome. I am having my own battle with the evil weed but am planning to stop next Thursday. Well done to you for stopping already. You will find lots of support and help here. Haven't noticed you here before so welcome to the site.

[Steamtrain1958 in reply to Hidden]

Hello , thanks for your kind words. So sorry I nearly had you in tears, but yes it was a horrible time, and still suffering now from that loss. However hey Ho, my life must go on, I do intend to be around a long time yet. I will also be here for you, to support your walk to freedom of the evil weed.

The more I think about it, there seems to be a lot of things I have changed about my everyday life, that have assisted in the success so far in quitting. The more weight I lost, the worse I looked, especially in the face, gaunt looking, hollow checks, sunken eyes, ect ect. Sure you know the picture. I found I had a day and a night cream for renewing skin and wrinkle firming. Don't know when I got it, but never used, supposes I was off having a fag! Yeah, of course you can't turn a woolworths print into a Picasso , but let's give it a go. So that's what I did, determined to be doing something with my hands, I set my self, a sort of pamper me routine. Make the first cup of tea, then straight back to the bedroom, and wash, moisturise from head to toe, face cream make up and dress. Make bed, go and make more tea. Wow it worked, I did not stop to play the computer game and smoke at least five cigs first, which was the usual thing. What else has worked is the cream, miracle I think, when I walk out now I feel a good foot taller, as I know that when I looked in the mirror, I don't look like a walking corpse anymore. Thank god. Well that's just one change, that's worked for me. Maybe you might find it usefull,. Good luck for Thursday, is that the 24? I will be rooting for you. June. X

[Suzy6]

Hello Steamtrain good to hear you are picking yourself up. I was you in January down from 8 stone to 6 stone 12lb. Back up to 8 stone now and feel much happier about myself. Good luck take care. Oh I also have long lungs and barrel chested.

[Hidden]

Well done steamtrain you have done it at last !! and am sure worse is over! You will have off days but keep strong !! I've packed in cigs 5 times but now been smoke free for months, I don't count how long am just proud each day, I too had lost 2 of my family to emphesema and they really suffered at the end !!! But once u realise the damage to yourself even the most unselfish person knows its time to quit xx good luck, take care, smell nice and live longer it's as simple as that !!! Tell your son well done too

[Poppymichael7]

That devil with his horns is always there but just learn to say no to him. I think most of us has been down your road but in the end we've beat it. It took me till I was 68 to stop and that was 18 months ago. I had stopped quite a few times, like most people, something would happen and bang I'd be back to smoking. The last time I stopped my grandson fell off a garage roof after getting their football.he broke his leg and had what's called compartment syndrome where they had to cut down both sides of his lower leg because of a blood clot. He had to go down for surgery to align his leg every day for six days. Eventually after eight days they were able to sew his leg back up and put a cast on. So you can imagine I was nearly comatosed on smoking. Any way this time my breathing was so bad I thought itS now or never so with the help of the hospital smoking clinic I stopped. They don't put pressure on you and they put me on Champix and within two weeks I'd stopped smoking and I've never had one since. I was a heavy smoker all my life too you just need to get yourself in the right zone good luck you can do it we are all here to help you along the way xxx

[Hidden]

You are an inspiration....what did you tell yourself when the cravings came? X

[katieoxo60]

Hi steamtrain 58 , that's the best step you could take to give up cigs, well done to face the demon weed and say no. There are many here who are new quitters who will support you. But even people like myself who quit eight years ago understand what you are going through and wish you all the best in your journey to a new healthy you, and don't worry if you lapse we are all here to help you get over it, the main thing is you have taken that first step, good luck

[Valcopd]

When the cravings come, it is triggered usually by stress. We kid ourselves that a cig will 'calm us down.' This is the worst mistake we can make. If you know how to take your pulse, you will discover that nicotine is a STIMULANT , it increases your heart rate.

It increases your anxiety. Well done, never believe the LIE. Val XX

[sassy59]

Welcome Steamtrain and well done to you giving up smoking. I have never smoked myself but I know how hard Pete found it to give up when diagnosed with sarcoidosis 22 years ago. You carry on doing well. Thinking of you. Carole xxxx

[MrBaz]

Hi steamtrain, 'smoking'...I was only diagnosed with copd a few weeks ago, had the spiro test, X-ray etc, after my infection cleared up, I was still in the dark about 'well just how bad have I got it!?'. I've been back to the docs today and seen a different Gp, Up until this point I was feeling a lot better, and the ciggies were increasing again!, I asked about my spiro test results, which until now I wasn't told, 33% she said, if I was told that weeks ago I would have been shocked enough to pack em up then!...certainly got to stop now!....take care Baz.

[Steamtrain1958 in reply to MrBaz]

Hi baz, sorry to hear your news, please think about the fags, don't be an ostrich like me, by burying my head in the sand and thinking it would not get to me has put me in the mess that I am now. In the past nine weeks, been diagnosed with lots, won't bore you, but keepers, I know its free, but I don't want anything else thrown at me. Come on mate, make a difference we are all with you, l June xx

[MrBaz in reply to Steamtrain1958]

Thanks for your support Sreamtrain packed up the fags & my job yesterday!..eek!, probably why I'm up drinking tea at 4am!.. Lol.. Xx

[Steamtrain1958 in reply to MrBaz]

Hi baz, well I guess you may be snoring now, having been up so early with the tea pot mate, great news about the cigs, I be right here, no crap, it will be a bumpy road for a little while but I promise it gets easier and easier and easier. So also the job, was that on the cards? Lol June xx

[onamission]

Welcome Steamtrain it is very difficult to give up the weed I did it about 8 years ago we are always hear take care

[Steamtrain1958]

Thanks to all of you for the well wishes and support, I have had such a good day today, but most important is that it has been enhanced by the fact that when I check my e.mails I get all your lovely messages, thank you all so much, you will never know how much this site is helping me. I hope you can all see this as I am still a little lost as to what I am doing when I respond to messages. I can't reply to every message as I have to keep stopping to eat. Take care everyone, untill the next moment together. Xx june

[helingmic]

Steamtrain1958, hi. what a moving life story> What a wonderful decision. c.o.n.g.r.a.t.u.l.a.t.i.o.n.!

This will replenish your health for the rest of your life. Of course, you have damaged your lungs, BUT they can improve. Keep it up. make sure, you don't catch any infection during this season.

Can I tell you that my dad smoked; this is why I have bronchiectasis, because I've been smoking passively for 19 years and a half.

So, now, you are a benefit to your environment. people will not passively smoke in your company.

Take care of your great courage!

[Steamtrain1958]

Hi, when you are breathless, try breathing in through the nose had a second then gently out through the mouth, sit and relax and it should help, but that only for now like everyone has said you need to talk to your doc, but if you really start to struggle 999 don't try to cope, when you see the doc, ask to be referred to the Copd respiratory team, that's if there is one in your area, here where I am they called me a week after my doc app and come to my house to assess and advice a suitable plan of action to help me. I went on an eight week pulmonary rehab course, just two hours on a set day of the week, honest it was great advice, help and the things you learn to help you survive are always there with you. I was really doing well untill another disaster, and bang that's when I was in hospital 22 August, but there they were again, the rehab team knocking at my door, and now on regular visits, to help me. Making living with Copd, at every level as easy as they can for YOU. Thanks for the encouragement to my smoking. I must say though, I feel rotten for you at the thought that you have been diagnosed, but not through your own fault, god it makes me feel bad to think that I may have contributed to others I'll health, by being an inconsiderate smoker in the past. I wish you well, and get that referral to Copd team fast. Lol junex

[Steamtrain1958]

Hi healing mic, sorry mis spelt the info, breath in through nose, hold breath, breath out gently through mouth.