As some of you will know (particularly those who have been fantastically helpful - this is Smartt), I was diagnosed with COPD a few weeks ago. Eventually, managed to pack up smoking during an amazingly wonderful holiday, courtesy of my sister, in her house in Provence.
Arrived home, on a high, this afternoon, with lots of cigarettes for my anorexic daughter. I was so proud of myself stopping smoking. Very strong of me to bring her back cigarettes but I figured we'd be paying less getting these for her, duty free. Met her. Another huge tattoo and cuts on her body.
Very upsetting; shocks and upsets me to see her this way. We parted abruptly; nothing ws exchanged (including the beautiful Provence crockery I'd bought for her - that's by the way).
I've since then smoked 3 of the cigarettes I bought for her and am considering going outside to smoke another. Help. I was doing so well before coming home to this rubbish. I've been feeling so much healthier and happier and now, after this failure, am descending.
Any suggestions welcome. Electronic cigarettes. Whatever. Please help. I'd thought I could do this cold turkey but hadn't banked on the shocking arrival home.
Wow! What a posting...
Smartt.
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
You gave up once, you can do it again. And do it NOW, not after you smoke all of those poisonous fags! Hang in there Smartt. Give them away, sell them or destroy them. Don't let them win. xx
I stopped last Xmas through e cigs and now have an off one. I nearly died through my copd and scared myself so much ciggies to me at the time looked like a killer Thank god I now feel like a non smoker. My lungs are still bad. God bless you all. New on this but read all your sympathetic answers
Oh not a great arrival home for you Smartt. Can only advise from a personal point of view which may not help but at least you know you are not on your own. Without knowing the full details of daughter (and that's your personal business) difficult to know, other than seek help for you, if you haven't already. Don't beat yourself up about smoking some tonight, tomorrow is another day and if you feel you can, start again. If you can't tomorrow, wait until the time is right and try again. Chin up xx
Smarrt, hun, take a deep breath! exhale! do it again, now stop beating yourself up! you are not a failure, I can only imagine how you must be feeling, so do what you must tonight, then when you get to bed, give yourself a talking to! you cannot save others, only yourself, you can support, but not live their lives,
Just take today, bin it & start fresh tomorrow & I wish you all the luck in the world
Ive no suggestions sorry,as ive not myself managed to stop smoking...but congratulate you on stopping in the first place...its very hard to give up...and can understand your worry and anxiety over seeing your daughter..that must be hard Maybe look on it as a setback and try and go back to stopping in a day or so when you may feel less stressed .Think the ecigs work for many even tho I know many people don't agree...I managed 18 weeks stopping with one...then a trauma and stupidly had a fag...but will be trying again to quit. I wish you luck xxxx
Hi Smartt.... oh, you poor love. I'm trying desperately hard to imaging what you must, as a mother be going through ((((((Smartt))))).
Never mind, so you smoked a few ciggies. Is it the end of the world???? Most decidedly not! Tomorrow is another day, so do something about it then. In the interim, weigh up the pros and cons with regard to why you want to give up smoking. Only you can do this. All I can offer is my genuine support and encouragement.
Rather than reach for a ciggie, I messaged a true friend on here on many occasions, and those cries for help were always answered. Paying it forward, message me whenever you like. I'm usually about. I have two ears to listen with, and broad enough shoulders when you need them.
I am giving up too it is so hard and I admit to sneaking the odd cigarette, didnt help that I felt no better at all! But last week I felt great, and havent touched one, when the cravings come, and they do, I get up and walk around, have a drink of water or something stronger depending on the time of day, and it really helps. All of us on here who have smoked know how bloody difficult it is, and how it pretends to be our friend when we are low, but believe me, as someone with absolutely no willpower, it can be done.
I know this can be very hard for any one and it must have been awful coming home to your daughter in that state but you are not a failure you are doing great just a small slip and I am sure you will get back on track
Have to say this ...no one does anything to you!...it's you in your head..if you allow others in there it's your choice. Take control of your life now it's in your hands.
Sorry to sound harsh. But we can blame game for the rest of our lives and all we are doing is boring people and nagging. Have a good day.
Now to do my breathing test...my problems result of house fire but that fire was an accident and what's important is nobody died....yet!!!
The reason you have had a couple is because all of us smokers, or ex smokers, always used to light up in stressful situations.....it was our dummy, our comfort blanket but it was killing us. Don't beat yourself up because you've had a couple....praise yourself for all those you haven't had. As others have said, you have one life to live, so you should live it as you want to. If your daughter is having a hard time, you being ill or passing away isn't going to help her.Replace the fags with something else.....pure orange juice is meant to kill the cravings...but anything that takes your mind off what is going on. If you get on to a PR scheme, part of mine was relaxation techniques and "My time" , which is how I now cope without the fags and with life's strife. Been a smoker for 52 years but quit on the 4th April this year cold turkey. Keep on trying.Best of luck.
Nice blog Brian. I am just coming up to my 3rd year of giving up having smoked for 53 years. I agree with what you said about the comfort blanket. I stopped with patches. Did miss them but now cant stand the smell of cigarette smoke and hold my breath if I have to walk past a few people standing outside a building smoking.. To anyone trying to quit please dont give up trying to stop .The reward is well worth waiting for. Joyce
Hi smartt first of all don't breath yourself up Ian on week 6 today of giving up and believe me I like many if people.on here have had bad urges to have a fag it happens don't best yourself up us lot on here won't let you any how xx I myself have got an eating disorder my councillor says it's anorexic and to be truthful I have and some times,still get the urges to self harm but really try not to do it one but of advice for you you need to think about townspeople with the type.of illnesses like what me and your daugther as can be selfish sometimes we don't mean to be but now is your time you look after yourself sorry for rambling on with myself it's just you seen like a lovely person and you don't deserve to best yourself up big hugs xxx
Just read your comnent towie1950 at first when I started reading it I thought it was abit harsh I apologise for that it's straight to the point and just give me a good luck up the backside xx
Sorry to hear You are going through a realy bad patch. I stopped smoking 3 months ago
I tried the cold turkey and like you found that if I get stressed I just want to smoke. I find the inhaler (nicorette) is great for that. I still use it now and then maybe once or twice a week, just for 5-10 minutes. It really stops the cravings.
Good luck and I do hope things get better for you.
How awful for you Smartt being confronted by your daughter in such a way. It must be very upsetting for you to see her like that but you can and will continue to be smoke free. Get those teeth gritted and get all the help you can from the no smoking campaigns that are available. My heart does go out to you as our son is a troubled young man who still lives with us. Please try and stay strong and you will be smoke free again.
Thinking of you at this difficult time and wishing you well. xxxxxx
When you have the urge, relax. Take 10 deep breaths, exhaling slowly and completely after each. Count them in your head. The urge will be gone. Repeat, as needed.
Really feel for you ,and your daughter, our children mean every thing to us and we hate to see them suffer, It does not really help when we have a cig for our stress, Just think of tomorrow being a new day, And perhaps get one of the electric ones, seems to be working with a friend of mine, she has gone six weeks now. you take care.x
I just saw advertised by NHS to search for 'smokefree' for your free pack help to stop smoking. I do hope this will help.
You will know yourself best, I know that if temptation is in my home then I will sucumb as I have very little willpower most of the time.
When I had stopped years ago I would sucumb to the need, usually on the motorway, stressed, racing hither & thither. I'd take a few puffs & feel awful so drop the cigarette out of the window. Try again later, feel the same and have to drop the hole pack.
The same with biscuits (I know it's not nearly so harmful but I'm talking about the temptation here). Buy a pack, plan to have 2 per day as a treat and before the hours out the whole pack has gone.
The only way I can cope is to have only the right stuff in the house.
I'm so sorry for you and your daughter, it's so painful to see them suffer (then there's the inevitable gullt).
I hope perhaps you can show by example by being in control in a good way, by becoming a non-smoker. Break the cycle and start a new, healthy, positive one.
At the end of the day, they have their choices just as we parents do. We have done our very best, now, as adults, it's their turn.
Make a chart and give yourself a star for each day without cigarettes, buy some really expensive smelly handcream and use it on those hands which smell so nice now, make a drink from grapefruit juice and lemonade, put large notices round your house proclaiming how you are recovering from a potentially fatal illness. YOu have got to convince yourself. But always remember that you may have lost the battle (by giving in and having a crafty puff) but you ARE going to win the war. As for your daughter, well the day comes when we as parents have to let go. Maybe that day has come?
I really do wish you well. I had my battle nearly 10 years ago but now regard winning that as the best thing thing I could ever do for myself.
Star chart. Well, tried that with F.(the daughter with difficulties). Ended up ripping the poster off the wall (despite all the gold/silver/bronze stars we awarded her). Didn't work. Good parenting, eh.
On the other point you made, though, you're right. Yes, I want to win the war. I can't believe how difficult it is I keep thinking how hard it must be for serious illegal drug users and feel so sorry for them. I've just read Rowling's latest book (which had crap reviews which I felt were unfair). You're hooked on something. It's hard. Please, Wednesday afternoon. That's the time I'm going to really need some support.
Thank you for this. I'm so sorry to see you've had these issues. I can't even begin to imagine self harming, however... I can begin to understand it but, equally, I can see it doesn't move anyone (particularly you, Jan, on).
Despite having a daughter who self harms and is anorexic, I still can't get a grip on this. Lots of medical help. Michael Rutter Clinic (Maudsley). Subsequently, three admissions to EDU. For Anorexia but, of course, (but, as I now know), it leads to other self harm issues because, of course, that's what Anorexia is all about which I didn't understand three years ago when F. was first diagnosed.
The self harm. Well, the psychiatrists at the Michael Rutter Clinic had never seen had anything like this. I'm so sorry if I shouldn't be saying this to you. I get the impression that people compete. If that's the case with you, please stop.
Me. Smoking. I suppose another form of self harm. Please don't take too much notice of F's problems. Perhaps it's an excuse to keep smoking on my part. Although yesterday was very upsetting. But.... However, that was what my posting was all about, not self harm! However, I, as usual, go off point.
Jan. Good luck and, you know something, it's so unnecessary. Stop hating yourself. You're more than that. Start being kind to yourself and thank you so much for your response but, as I say, look after yourself.
By the way, please send me a support message, Wednesday, p.m. Stopping smoking. Will need lots of support. Drippy or what?!
Please stay in touch.
Happy to send you my personal email address if you want. Please stay in touch. Do you live anywhere near London? Blimey, this has become more about you than me... it was me who posted the smoking thing.
Hi Smart I gave up smoking 25yrs ago I was told you only give up one cigarette,the next one,
also ,if you have one puff of a cigarette you will start smoking again,I rewarded myself with the money saved by treating myself to special things,,going to shows ,or buying things I would not normally afford to buy..Smart you must look after yourself,keep healthy and then do what you can for your daughter, She chooses to do the things she does, like its not your fault,Ihope things get better for you be ,positive it can only get better , Walt
Blimey, thank you, all of you.
Settling in from getting home from Provence.
Joke is, I didn't buy duty frees (because I'd packed up smoking).. not anticipating the homecoming. However, all turned out well in the end.
I would so love to reply individually to all of you but I have been so inundated with your fantastic and helpful responses. All of which (I promise you) I shall reply to individually (in time...). Actually, I'm not joking. My world is books, writing, editing... so watch your emails. Slightly preoccupied at the moment but all of you deserve an individual response. I'm so grateful.
What an amazing bunch you are. So many of you, tackling tedious, boring but important issues and giving strength to newcomers like me.
I apologise for thinking you were all a miserable lot when I first signed into this page a few weeks ago. You've been great.
Please be with me, I think (well, this is the plan at the moment)... Wednesday afternoon. Stopping smoking again but, this time, not Cold Turkey. Think Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Holmes)... there I shall be..
Thank you all. What a great bunch you are! If I don't get to responding individually, please, please, feel free to contact me at my gmail address. I just might not get there but would like to stay in touch with all of you.
However, (CAPITAL LETTERS: MOST IMPORTANT):
Please, Wednesday afternoon. Would appreciate support from you lot. That's my time. E cigarattes/gum this time. No cold turkey this time. Also, alas, no fantastic house in Provence and swimming pool to dive into to take my mind off smoking. Real life check. I need to see if I still have the childrens' paddling pool in garage. Blow that up for Wednesday afternoon and attempt diving into that instead of the Provence swimming poool. Ah, real life.
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xx
Maybe look on it as a setback and try and go back to stopping in a day or so when you may feel less stressed .Think the ecigs work for many even tho I know many people don't agree...I managed 18 weeks stopping with one...then a trauma and stupidly had a fag...but will be trying again to quit. I wish you luck xxxx
Yo Yo Smoking
Newbie and scared to death. PLEASE HELP
Utter failure. Six days not smoking. Something flipped in my mind today on my way to work. 
LIFE'S CRUEL JOKE
