........................................................Why is it always me?
I took my goldfish to the vet
''I think it's got the shakes'' I told the vet
The vet takes a look and told me '' It looks good to me.''
I told him''I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet''
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I saw a letter lying on my doormat
It said on the enveloppe ''DO NOT BEND''
I spent the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick
the bloody thing up.
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I shouted frantically into the phone''My wife is pregnant
and her contractions are only two minutes apart!''
The Doctor asked ''Is this her first child''
NO ''I shouted ''This is her husband''
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When my dog went missing I was inconsolable.
My wife said ''Why don't you put an advert in the paper?''
I did,but two weeks later the dog was still missing.
''What did you put in the paper?'' my wife asked.
I said''Here boy''
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When my brother was in jail the Guard looks in his cell
and sees him hanging by his feet.
''What the hell are you doing?'' he asked
''Hanging myself''
''It should be around your kneck'' said the Guard
''I know'' said my brother''but I couldn't breathe''
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An answer I can understand.
An American tourist asked me
''Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?''
What an idiot tourist! Really,surely we all know if they fell forwards,
they'd still be on the bloody boat.
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And you all thought I was stupid ! Didn't you?
Richard
BREATHE EASY=FRIENDSHIP
Don't be inconsolable,just don't forget to go to Breathe Easy
Join on the day or phone03000 030 555 MOn - Fri 10am 6pm for Details about Breathe Easy and the British Lung Foundation
Anna
