This week is Dying Matters Awareness Week and the following link has some very interesting information about how people are putting off talking about what they would like to happen when they are dying.
I know this can be a difficult situation to discuss but as this article shows by not discussing what we would like people are missing out on appropriate end of life care and the families who are left behind find it more difficult to cope with.
Hi Jo I was unaware of DMAW.As a member of the Nottingham Respiratory Research Event Committee( only formed last Dec) I would appreciate any information that you obtain about other happenings.I am also able to promate BLE and BE at the same time at events that we hold
I agree a lot of people don't like talking about it, my own family hate it if i mention it, but it happen to us all eventually, some sooner than others unfortunately, my end is taken care of, family don't need to do anything, just sit back and enjoy the party, just a pity i won't be there to help drink the bar dry. sorry good link by the way
My family is the same as azzards, am at a loss with my son as he refuses point blank to believe it will happen (later, rather than sooner I hope!). Makes things difficult. So, I'll be having a look at this with interest. Libby
Thank you Jo sensitive handling of emotions throughout living with a lung condition when many of us feel quite fragile has been my experience of the BLF.
Funeral plan paid for, snuff box prepared with all relevent documents, written instructions list given to eldest son. ok, all ready to go. Bob
Hi Jo personally all arranged, everything cool, still a bit emotional at times but that seems reasonable. Good post better that we all deal with the inevitable.
Can I commend a helpful book called Handbook for Mortals, very good. I have no association with this book in any way.
Chris
Er What A Grim Subject Really
Me Personally A Don't Care What They Do With .... Put Me In A Bin Bag And Trow Me In The Garden ..... That How I Feel Society Has Become
But Seriously Its No Longer My Problem .... As Am Subject Of The Crown They Will Have To Sort It
Hubby and I did wills some years ago as I get older I am thinking of changing things.
Don't want everybody turning up in black thats not how I know them and would like a funeral thats not too religious but not humanist, don;t know how I am going to achieve that, any ideas?
I would be interested, polly, in any answers you get. I have made my plans but feel a little uncertain. Husband came with me which was a surprise, to do his funeral plans. In the end, it was an interesting morning, not without a laugh or two.
This is an emotive subject to talk about, but we know that people can plan what they would like to happen when they are dying - please don't get angry or upset when i say that but a lot of people die without being able to express their wishes about what they want when the time comes.
So for example, a person can have an advanced care directive - they can ask for a DNR (Do not resuscitate) or they would not want to have certain drugs when they were dying, or they would wish to be in a hospice or at home. Having this is writing can ensure your wishes are met and adhered to and takes some of the difficult decisions away from loved ones.
An interesting statistic - 70% of people would like to die in their own home, of the 500,000 people who die each year, 60% do so in hospital.
This post is in no way intented to cause offence or upset - being informed about our choices gives us more control. Talking about death does not make it happen.
Like You Say Jo Its Not A Easy Subject .... But We Are The Only Species On The Planet That Are Clued Up To What Is Going To Happen To Us ... Don't Think Any Amount Of Planing Makes You Feel Allright
Lets Face It Everyone And Everything You Ever Cared About You Will Never See Again .... Like For Ever Like Really Is The Pits In My Opinion .... Then You Have Whitehall Lot With Final Insults ... But No Point Dwelling On Things And Just Have To Make Best Of What You Have .. And Those Around You ... Well Apart From Wrong Ones And Not Rights .... That Is
Thanks for this Jo, its been a concern of mine for some time, but I just didn't know how to go about it, this information helps a lot. I think making it easier on those left behind is very important.
Thanks Jo, this is brilliant for people's awareness.
In my job I and my team had to begin resuscitation on people who we sometimes knew wouldn't have wanted it. However, without the relevant advanced care directive we have had to be lawful and resuscitate for 20 minutes. So terribly distressing for families to witness if they lived close enough to arrive in time. Some scenes haunt us still.
You talk good sense, Jo. Believe me, I am not scared of death and have planned my fuuneral arrangements. I keep on changing my mind as to what!! I'm like that. It should be subject that should be discussed. It is a natural thing, and should be discussed as such.
Its difficult for sure. For me it has got easier to confront as the years pass and age catches up with you. I think having lost a few lung patient friends over the years brings it closer to home. But hopefully for the newly diagnosed they have a lot more time for living before maybe they feel ready to look into this.
I, along with our community matron, are trying to broach the subject with my mum.
She was given a booklet last week called planning for the future, with info about power of attorney etc, and the importance of letting someone know her wishes.
I find it so difficult to bring up the subject with her, and she either doesn't realise how Ill she has now become, or she too is finding it difficult to discuss with me. I want her to have the death she wants and not what she thinks we want for her.
The old fella and I have made our wills and have donated our bodies to the Universety of Wales for research. Our son is aware of this we talk about it openly because I think this is the best way. We all have to go and I would like mine to be a celebration of life not a sad time Our grandson aged 16 and I plan the party and make lists of songs to be played with special memories attached, at the moment we are toying with the idea of fancy dress ! I realise its not everyones idea of impending death but it is our way of coping with it.
( Bless him he starts his o levels to-day he works so hard. Good Luck Jethro x)
I agree with u exblonde i have my husbands ashes at home and when my time comes we will be throwen up in the air together and my family knows and they can enjoy the day and party not be sad hope they will think of the good time we had over the years memories never go away but im not ready yet ha ha
exblonde, I thought it would be a good idea to donate my perfect body (ha ha!) to science but my only daughter does not seem to like the idea. Will have to broach the subject at a later date when she has got used to the idea. I think it would make things easier for her, no funeral to arrange and attend. Still I don,t intend to go anywhere for a long time, and plan to carry on enjoying life.
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sorry good link by the way
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