Does anyone have any advice about helping someone to come to terms with an asthma diagnosis?

[ParusMajor123]

Hi.

My younger brother (10 years old) just got diagnosed with asthma and is having a hard time coping with it. He doesn't like having something wrong with him. My mom asked me to talk to him because I have asthma and know what it is like. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel better and not upset or worried about it or embarrassed about it.

I was diagnosed when I was 18 (I'm 22 now) after having pneumonia and I didn't like it or want to tell people. I have personally also found it hard especially since mine can get quite bad, I've had many bad asthma attacks, 2 I should have called 999 for but didn't because I didn't want to waste their time (I know it sounds stupid especially because I was having trouble breathing and was very unwell afterwards).

Does anyone know what I could say to him, to make him feel better about it, I am really not sure.

Thank you

[Echoblue]

He is probably more aware of what is happening than you think! My children grew up seeing me struggle with the peaks and troughs of unstable asthma. (And never let me forget the Christmas I missed whilst in hospital! Thank goodness for me being super organised that year and everything was wrapped in time for the big day!)

They can recount many tales that my husband and I thought we had managed to keep the seriousness from them. I learned fairly quickly to be open and honest with children but keep it simple in language that they can grasp. I suggest starting the conversation but let him come back to you to ask things as he wants rather than bombard with reams of information. No question being daft and anything that concerns him he needs to raise. If he feels uncomfortable actually talking you could try a “question jar” where you could both write down things that concern you and put them in the jar then pull the concerns out and talk them through. That way it could be less ‘all eyes on him’.

May be worth speaking to the asthma nurses on the Asthma UK helpline as I am sure there may be guides available to look through together?

Good luck with the conversation.

Probably find the rebellious teenage years and hormones kicking in could well be a more challenging time to come I am afraid!

[Echoblue in reply to Echoblue]

Could also Google athletes with asthma and find some of his heroes to show him having asthma doesn’t have to end his hopes and dreams. Probably most famous is David Beckham ..... though he may be a bit old for your brother to relate to!

[ParusMajor123 in reply to Echoblue]

Hello. Thank you for replying. He doesn't live in the UK so he doesn't have an asthma nurse just his GP. Ill definitely try looking up athletes or his heroes to show him asthma isn't that bad. He has actually not seen me have an asthma attack because I was in the UK and he was back in Luxembourg (I live back in Luxembourg when I am not at uni). Thank you for the help. I ll try all that.

[Rogueelsol]

I would tell him it does not define him. Asthma is just something he has to deal with but not who he is! I look at my asthma like someone who has very poor eyesight, they must have their glasses to navigate the world. So too us asthmatics must be mindful and keep an emergency inhaler in case. Also, no one can see his asthma! It truly is nothing to be embarrassed about so try not to highlight it. Address it and handle it but meds and routine don't need to be made into a big to do. Good luck! I hope this helps! I am 27 and have been living with asthma since 11.

[twinkly29]

I agree with others - asthma could be no different for him than wearing glasses. If he uses his inhalers as prescribed, it could cause him no problems. Understandably he may be worried (knowing your asthma is less easy to manage) but many many asthmatics are ok as long as they use their blue/brown inhalers properly.

The looking up famous people with it is a great idea.

[HowNowWhatNow]

I looked online for an Asthma guide to having asthma for young people but haven’t yet found one.

I found this, which I thought might be useful for you and/ your parents, in talking to him, understanding the condition and helping him manage his asthma:

bcbsm.com/content/dam/publi...

It also suggests introducing him to other children who have asthma.

[ChrissieMons]

His parents could speak to his teacher. There will be other children in his school who have asthma and they might be able to find him a buddy to talk to.