Thoughts

[WhiteFalcon2017]

As I've been sitting here and reading posts I've been thinking about my own 'journey' for want of a better word, with this asthma.

I was diagnosed in my 30's and to start with I had a lot of years when I was fine, taking my inhalers helped. Then I had some chest infections and as the years have gone on my asthma has gotten worse than it was. But since my illness and severe attack in December I find that I get more breathless doing things when I didn't before. I feel now that this is the best I will ever be.

I spoke to the asthma nurse a few weeks ago and she told me that if I get another chest infection, I seem to have had a few of them in the last couple of years, then I should be referred to the chest specialist. When she said that I told her I felt a failure but she said the failure was theirs. Then she mentioned I could be border line brittle asthmatic. Don't really know about brittle asthma.

I am having physiotherapy for a shoulder issue and the therapist wants me to have anti inflammatories. I phoned the med centre and spoke to a doctor who said it wouldn't be good for me to have them since my asthma isn't mild. She would be very concerned if I took them because they can cause attacks apparently.

How has that made me feel? Well, I always thought my asthma wasn't too bad even (though I've had all these chest infections) but I really think that what she said has shaken me up a bit. I don't know why really.

I still work and I can still go out and about. I know that I am better than a lot of people.

When I was ill in December, a severe attack put me in hospital on Boxing Day night. It was sparked by the flu and two secondary infections (sinus and chest) my husband couldn't believe how quickly I went downhill. He has always been good to me (he has asthma too) and he still is. He doesn't rush when we are out. He waits for me.

I've tried never to let this get to me or affect my life too much if I can help it. Now I feel that one day it will get the better of me. Whether these thoughts are carried on from when I was ill I don't know. Or maybe the comments of the doctor has brought them back to the surface. Who knows!

Anyway, as I said, these are my thoughts on this fine Saturday morning. If you read them I thank you for your time. I also give thanks for this website and to all of you. Take care and if you can please stay well. Best wishes to you all.

[strongmouse]

Hi,

It is interesting reading other people's journeys with health / ill health. It sounds as though your asthma nurse is understanding and informed.

I am in my late 60s but had to take ill health retirement several years ago due to ill health (unrelated to asthma) and I was devastated. It took me quite a while to get used to this new 'normal for me' way of living. As I tried to adjust my GP referred me to see a Clinical Psychologist and she was brilliant. She understood what it was like to manage a long term chronic illness and then for it to get worse. There was no magic wand, but we do learn to adapt and to live as good a quality of life as we can manage. It sounds as though you work hard with your husband's help to do all that you can. Doctor's don't always realise how their comments come across and can effect how we feel.

Having chest infections on top of asthma is horrible. No wonder you find it difficult. No you are not a failure! Illness is not a choice and we do all we can to stay as well as possible. I have no idea about the anti-inflammatories, but hopefully physio and alternative treatments will help. You could speak to the Asthma UK nurses about the anti inflammatories if you really need them or ask your doctor or therapist if there are alternative treatments?

All the best.

[WhiteFalcon2017 in reply to strongmouse]

Thank you Strongmouse.

How hard for you to have to take ill health retirement years ago. It's good that you had a person who could help you when you needed it. Sometimes that doesn't happen.

You are right though in that we learn to adapt and try to have a good quality of life.

My work place is usually pretty good regarding my asthma apart from my boss. I don't think he believes me and he certainly doesn't understand asthma. He has told me that himself. When I got back to work in January he came to see me with a return to work form but didn't ask how I was and never has asked.

I am seeing the therapist next week so I shall discuss with him about alternative treatments. I'd prefer it if it didn't require surgery but it is affecting my every day life now.

I shall see what he can come up with.

I hope that you have had a good day Strongmouse. Look after yourself and take care.

[strongmouse in reply to WhiteFalcon2017]

Thank you - you too.