Asthma makes me feel like a bad Mum

[kate_uk]

Less than 5 minutes outside in the back garden this afternoon helping my 9 yr old stick her snowman's head on, has left me suck on the sofa, hot water bottle on my chest, and needing my inhaler every few hours. We should have been out enjoying the weather, sledging - she's never done that, stomping through the snow, we get it so rarely, but I just can't take her and hubby is in work.

I'm OK, yes my chest is sore, but it's manageable, I just feel miserable that I can't do these things that her. We've hardly been out at the weekends all Winter due to either cold, damp or both. She doesn't mind, she's happy playing on her computer, but having done all these fun things as a kid myself I feel she's missing out on so much.

Sorry no question, just feeling a bit down and wanting to get it off my chest, so to speak.

[lakelover]

You are not a bad Mum. You're not feeling that way deliberately. Come the better weather you'll be able to make it up to her & have fun. Please, please, please don't feel guilty about it.

Tell your daughter from me that she's a very grown up young lady to not be making a fuss. Acceptance of circumstances is a rare commodity these days, especially in one so young. Well done wonder girl!

Lovely snowman by the way!

[kate_uk in reply to lakelover]

Thanks, that means a lot.

[M-D-F]

If it any consolation I keep nipping out clearing a bit of the drive, then coming in to recover, so if you are a bad mum I'm a rubbish snow clearer. Plus I have a cat that is in the window laughing at me, if it is not careful I'll be using it as a hat.

[kate_uk]

You made me smile, hope you manage to clear the drive soon, for the cat's sake!

[Wheezycat]

I can, kind of, understand. I grew up far north in Scandinavia, and snow was part of life many months each year. Thus we lived with it rather than fight it, every step of the way. I have many wonderful memories. And when our daughter was young, when we lived in London, I was determined to grab every snowy opportunity to introduce her to how wonderful it can be. Now I am in my late sixties, and this winter, for the first time, the cold affects me. I feel baffled by it (me? Where I grew up it wasn’t unusual to be minus 25, and I was fine!) , infinitely frustrated and really not enjoying not coping well with it. I have no one to feel guilty about, except I have to send my husband out to do whatever needs doing outside, which makes me feel feeble.

As others have said you are not a bad mum. Perhaps it is worth remembering that no parent is perfect, we all have our frailties, and this happens to be yours. You sound like the kind of mum who will do many other nice things with your daughter. If that is so perhaps try to remind yourself that instead.

[emmasue]

I know the feeling. I have two kids. My son and I are both I'll at the moment and my daughter doesn't understand why I can't do fun things like take her swimming or bake. She expects me to be normal. It's hard, but we can't change or physical health.

[Pugdog]

I feel the same, since September 1st been on downward spiral of wheeze and chest infections and felt unable to go out and do anything with my 2 boys. Summer I'm fine. Everyone says the same thing, don't beat yourself up about it, got to get yourself better and stay well through winter. It does make you feel quite miserable though and I compare it to having a disability as that's how it feels sometimes. I finally saw a great consultant and am feeling better. Just because you're not rushing around with the children outside doesn't mean they can't have some fun indoors for a bit. It will be warmer soon and then we can make it up and go out more. Stay warm and keep healthy that's so important.

[Certificate in reply to Pugdog]

I feel a bad parent to but for our children sake we just need to do what we can, my morning uniphyllin makes me feel shakey and I cry randomly, tablets are slow release so night time not a problem, I am worried as consultant said if these don't work I need to be transferred to a London hospital as my asthma is bad and I also have to complete with weather I feel so alone does any one feel like this. I have also been told that I have a shadow and the hospital don't seem worried I was told that they would be keeping eye on it had it for nearly 3 years so try not to worry, take care