Was reading an asthma blog where this was done and thought it was a good idea for light relief, a la those ones on Facebook. So I pinched it, along with a few of the ones mentioned there as they were just so good and were ones I'd have picked (I'd link to the blog but not sure if this is allowed). And haven't seen this on here before.
Some of these may not apply to everyone and I'm sure you'll all have something to add, but here goes:
You know you're an asthmatic when:
* You can't look at a Costa Coffee the same way again (especially if it says something unintentionally amusing like 'Costa Express' - as if.)
*If you were asked 'what do you never leave the house without?', 'inhaler(s)/nebs comes top of the list, above 'keys'.
*You know your surgery phone number and EMIS access details from memory.
*Your GP doesn't bother to call out your name anymore, just looks round the waiting room and says 'oh hi, come in.'
*You have a mental ranking system of the GPs in your practice.
*When you meet a new doctor while SOB (or not), you mentally give them marks out of 10. They fail with any of the following: 'well, your chest is clear so you're doing ok', 'wow, your peak flow is really high, nothing to worry about', 'If you calm down, your breathing will be fine'. (Marks will be deducted but not result in a failing grade for anything along these lines: 'Can you take deep breaths in through your mouth and out through your nose in an alternate triplet pattern' actually no I can't, you try it!)
*Sometimes you clank when you walk around because of all the inhalers in your pocket.
*The pharmacists at your local know you at least by sight, if not by first name, and don't bother to ask what you're picking up.
*Red, yellow and green have deep significance for you beyond being traffic light colours.
*Blue has even more significance and can be used as a noun.
*The paper PF chart is just not good enough anymore. You have multiple apps on your phone and/or an Excel spreadsheet.
* You get excited when you hear about famous people, or people in history, with asthma.
* You find yourself waving an inhaler around as you talk then wonder why people are looking at you strangely.
* Being a control freak is a GOOD thing.
*Even if you don't know much else about anatomy, you are red hot on the anatomy and physiology of the lungs and breathing.
* Your everyday vocabulary includes the terms 'bronchodilator', 'bronchospasm', 'leukotriene receptor antagonist' and 'peak expiratory flow'.
* You know the difference between anabolic and corticosteroids.
*You have sometimes been overtaken by old ladies when walking.
* You have a drawer stuffed full of (legal, asthma) drugs (well you may have a drawer full of other drugs too but you might not want to admit that lol)
*Your lungs have personalities (stubborn ones), and you have conversations with them.
*Your lungs are barometers. You know sooner than everyone else when the humidity level and temperature change.
*Your lungs are more sensitive than your nose when it comes to picking up smoke, floral perfume etc.
You ring your Drs surgery and don't have to give your nme as ALL the reception staff recognise your voice.
I haven't quite achieved some of these yet but they are very good!
*Your husband asks whether your chest is tight when it is and you thought you were doing a pretty good job of hiding it
*Your GP phones to speak to your husband, recognises your voice and has a chat before being passed over
*No one at work questions the fact that you have been off for four weeks
Love this
Am feeling really low this week after a long COSTA visit on Sunday, your post has definatley cheered me up today, thanks!
Thanks everyone! I need to stop procrastinating lol Glad it helped though riles - not Costa Express then? Hope you feel better soon.
Another one I thought of:
*When people have impressive coughing fits around you, you either feel competitive ('ha, I can beat that) or wonder if they're asthmatic.
(Actually, on the train yesterday there was a guy who I really did wonder about - he was breathing really fast and quite loudly for a while after getting on the train, and it wasn't just before it left either. Reminded me of me when I get on a train after walking down the platform.)
Thanks Philomela. No it wasnt COSTA express haha, however so glad I didn't have to stay. Stupid amounts of weeks of coughing and chest unfections have made me tear and strain all intercostal and chest muscles grrrrr...
Gill
owwwwww Gill! Massive sympathies - I know the feeling though don't think I've torn them. Hope they've given you some good painkillers.
Yeah tramadol and co-codomal have become my new best friends
...whilst walking you have to keep pausing discreetly to catch your breath and pretend you are looking at people's gardens. Or as in my hilly town, low walls become your friends.
HAHA...this is brilliant Philomelo
Philomela, most of that sounds rather familiar. Can't see a problem with mentioning blogs as long as the author is happy, there has been plenty on here in the past including one by forum members here.
True Angelica and I would add you can tell when it's a new receptionist too as recognise them by voice too.
Could also add to the list
* people know you're coming by your cough and resulting comments on that sounds nasty...
* you count the number of colours you've had in inhalers and wonder if they're available in the whole
Agree with tj on the knowing when theres a new receptionist
Add
* your medication drawer is Overflowing and ur sock draw is empty
* your handbag is heavy but ur purse isn't
* you don't worry about how to get there u worry about there not being a lift
Glad I cheered people up though obv. can't take all the credit!
anzharry, don't think it was yours unless you're a Canadian student called Kerri. But maybe she saw yours. Would love to see your version if you want to link to it - guess some of these are just so true we all think of them! I hadn't thought of doing it on here till I saw that blog but thought it would be great for here.
I relate SO much to the competitive coughing - someone in the office has been giving it a go for the last couple of weeks but now with my lungs playing up I can REALLY show her how it ought to be done!
Thanks Philomela, you've got me interested in blogging
I've started one and had a lovely play with all the colours and pictures and things. No idea who's actually going to read it - think I'd actually rather no one did as I'm quite shy.
Brilliant Philomena, one to add from is........""You were in Tesco the other day but I couldn't see where you were but I heard you!
And another one: 'when your water pipes make odd noises at night you have to stop and think for a moment about whether those noises might be coming from your chest.'
Spookymilo,I know what you mean about not wanting people to read it as I'm the same; I figured if i ever do it it will be anonymous as I don't always like people close to me to know certain things. But hope you'll maybe link to it on here even if it's anonymous. I know that feeling of just wanting a space to say things!
anzharry, think you removed link? I tried it but didn't seem to work - hope you're happy to share again.
*people recognise you by your cough and say hello before they've even seen you (in the cubicles at rhe baths as often happens to me on a sunday morning LOL)
Philomela you've really got me hooked on blogging now! Think I will steal this idea but adapt it to 'You know you're a teacher when...'
hehe I can't claim credit! There are lots of these on FB - including a teacher one which even as a non-teacher I thought was funny.
Look forward to seeing your blog if you're ok with sharing a link here.
Glad this is on off topic, sorry for hijacking your thread!
When you live opposite your GP surgery (you feel like you live there rather than your own home) and the ambulance service is at the end of the road, because you know you will need them.
.... You can't sleep at night because you can't hear your chest rattling and crackling!
Every handbag you own and every car you drive has a blue inhaler in it.
lol spookymilo, no worries. Will Michael Rosen need an injunction?
Malawi2, know what you mean. I don't live that close to mine but when I moved within the same city I was really worried I might move out of the catchment area for my surgery and lose my brilliant GP (who at that point was the only person who actually believed my problems weren't all in my head!)
KEB - oh yes. Though I limit myself to one for home and one for 'out' as otherwise worried I'll end up with no idea how full any of them are. Also just have the one Atrovent inhaler which lives on me!
I have 3 inhalers on the go - one by my bed, one in my handbag and one in the car. My next prescription isn't due yet but i've put a request in and put a note on to say i want it before the prescription charges go up in April - i hope they'll agree!!! (Thankfully? I don't get quite enough prescriptions for it to be worth me getting a pre-payment certificate)
This morning 2 different people at the baths separately commented on my cough haha One said ""i knew that was you"" and the other commented ""i'd know that cough anywhere!"" To the 2nd comment i replied ""everyone round here knows that cough!"" (It's all self-inflicted cos on a sunday morning i do a 4k run immediately followed by a one mile swim, i can do it but it always results in setting off my asthma - which in my case is a persistent cough)
you know you're asthmatic when...
...you dont change your address at the GP because you are out of their catchment area and would rather travel the 30mile round trip for an appointment because the GP and Asthma nurse know you so well.
...you panic because you think you've forgotten your inhaler, you tip your bag out all over the {insert relevant flat surface} to PHEEWWWW find that you have two!
...you are forever unclipping the mouthpiece of the turbohaler to see where the red dots are.
xx ><>
You know you're an asthmatic when...
*you go away (work trip in a holiday-ish place) and your medications are on your 'must-take' list ahead of your passport.
(Without my passport, I can't go. Without medications, I absolutely shouldn't if I want to get anything at all done and not potentially discover what Italian Costa is like.)
The lovely A&E Dr sees you walk in puffing like a train, walks to you, takes your coat and gets you a neb without asking anything as he already recognises you!!!
Discussion with anaesthetist re next week's procedure concentrates more on the asthma than anything else.
We exist to make anaesthetists' lives more interesting I've never needed general anaesthetic yet, but I can just see if I do it will be an extended discussion.
I hope it's nothing major you're needing GrannyMo? Hope it goes ok anyway.
Today's 'feel like an asthmatic': you need far more help and are much much slower trying to walk than your mum who is in her 60s. (On a family business trip - my brother had to take my suitcase as well as his up to the hotel as I was clearly never going to make it if I had to pull the thing and walk. They've gone off to the shop now and left me at the hotel as my mum thought anything more would be a bit much for me...).
Thanks. Will be off the forum for a few days. Cross fingers bounce back to normal asap. Apparently I've given them a slight headache with the cough variant asthma and other things.
Edited: anyone who wondered why I was going into hospital will have read my unedited post. Anyone else, feel free to pm me.
You know you're an asthmatic when every time you cough when eating eg when it's a hot spicy curry enough to make anyone cough or something goes down the wrong way. Cos your other half will look over his specs at you as if you're having an asthma attack right there. When actually no, this time it is a simple cough.
Good luck Grannymo hope all goes well for you and that it is nothing too serious and you see an improvement in your condition. x
When you know more than most of the junior doctors in your local hospital including how the ancient peakflow meter works and how to set up a neb.
Also when the majority of the A&E staff know you by first name and always say hello when they see you in the street
Oh and when you ring the doctors surgery and the receptionist has kept you an appointment with your GP because you bumped into her the day before and you ""didn't look well""
A friendly paramedic jokes about if I am going to be ill, it had better be in the next 10 mins as he was about to leave the building............
Am I that scarey??
Littlemonster, that's what I call good service from your GP's receptionist!
My GP seems to be able to just pick up where we last left off - he asks 'what can I do for you today?' but really every appt is about lungs even if that wasn't the intention. If I ever get something that is totally obvious but needs a GP, like a twisted ankle or something, I'm going to go to him so a) he can see I'm not always horribly complicated and b) to find out if I can get through a whole appt without the lungs coming up. Bet I can't.
The other GP I see is just the same - actually I might try her with the hypothetical twisted ankle because she admitted my chest confuses her so much and it would be nice to give her something nice and simple for once lol, but I'd bet money that if I so much as coughed while I was there she'd be listening to my lungs.
Walk in drs surgery just purely to put repeat in At pharmacy early evening doctors all finishing! One of my docs walking towards me comin through door greets. Me by name :/ service with a smile !
- all your friends jump you with a peak flow meter and you play the PF game (see who can get highest PF between a mix of asthmatics and non asthmatics)
- You find more inhalers in your bedroom than stuffed toys
-You become convinced that inhalers ar
You see a different GP who asks if you wouldn't mind waiting a moment while he reads your notes, reads for ages and all he keeps saying is ""oh dear!"" gets obviously shaky tells you to come back next week to make sure the meds he has given are working. I turn up for the appointment only to be told I have to see another GP cos the original one has gone off sick just before I turned up! Coincidence? Go in for the appointment told to come back next week just to be sure that I am ok and as I am leaving the doc says I make him nervous! He said that doctors can give advice to people like me.....Asthmatics....which is perfectly valid only for everything to change in a short while cos I go downhill so fast! Would he say this if I was a heart patient? I don't think so somehow. Are we really so frightening or just ""special""? I think we are all just brilliant and they are lucky to have us.
Pauline47, I know what you mean. According to my regular GP I keep her on her toes and my visits are never boring. (Case in point, I went to see her the other day and managed to walk into a wall on my way in, which she found very funny. I'm horrifically clumsy, normally from lack of sleep!) On balance though having a GP admit that they aren't sure is way better than them comparing you to a text book comparison from med school. I always feel like saying to them that the person who wrote it a. definitely wasn't asthmatic and b. has never met any of us so can't write something that will ""fit"" all difficult / brittle asthma!
But another way you know is definitely when you haven't been to the doctors for a few weeks and the first words are ""I haven't seen you for a few weeks, I was starting to worry about you
lol littlemonster, I have the same with me keeping them on their toes! I actually think I made my GP's day when I got my official diagnosis, because he'd succeeded in getting somewhere when 2 resp. specialists had not (mainly because they couldn't be bothered to listen). He actually did an air punch lol!
Still laughing at you walking into a wall..sorry! I have become totally shameless now and take naps when the drs are out of the room or reading my notes.
Definitely would rather have them admit they don't know than try to force you into a box. My GP is very good about that and in fact the 3rd time I was referred I was fairly reluctant because of previous bad experiences, but he said that while he understood where I was coming from and didn't rate what the previous consultants had said he had to because he'd reached the end of what he could do.
I'm congratulating myself smugly for not having been to the GP's for a few months, but really it's because I'm seeing the hospital and don't think the GP will be able to help. If pred worked I'd still be going back and forth.
only just found this thread, don't know how i missed it til today. been giggling away reading it, so thank you Philomela. can relate to many of these, my asthma nurse walked into the surgery the other day after lunch break and said ""i'll be with you in just a minute louise""
you know you're asthmatic when..
*you do your peak flow and think you can do better but get SOB/start coughing cos you're trying so hard
*friends leave you on their doorstep and don't invite you in until they've run around and hidden the flowers in the cupboard
*you give looks of contempt to anyone who comes near you with a cold. ""oh it's gone in just a couple of days"" they say, ""for me it's a month of sleepless nights, lots of meds and aching ribs"" comes the reply
*you avoid the fridges at the supermarket
You know you are Asthmatic when you go to the local walk in clinic and they are impressed cos they haven't seen you for a few weeks. The doctor says just the usual anibiotics,preds and if you get slightly worse or don't get better soon dial 999! The doctor says you have a chest infection my love!!!! As if they know me! Ah well never mind.
You know if somewhere has been using a dry ice machine before you can see it, by the way your chest complains!
oohh booboo that reminds me i'm normally not too bad with dry ice machines but i did have one occasion that i remember vividly. I go to dancing lessons and one year i was involved in the annual show. Unfortunately, i had a cold when the show was on - typical!!! During our dance there was dry ice blowing out. Our dance was about 3.5 minutes long and by the end i really was struggling to breathe Luckily we were straight off stage after the dance cos i really needed my inhaler AND i had to do it all over again the next day though i was expecting it then so took the inhaler beforehand though i still struggled.
when i was telling my teacher (the owner of the dance school) the following week how bad i'd been she said she'd taken advice about the dry ice and been assured that it was safe *sigh* She knows i'm asthmatic (she's seen it action many times) and there must be loads of others in the school with it.
Jinglefairy, that was exactly it, ive been helping out with my kids danceshow. Dry ice has never bothered me before although not been near one since being diagnosed. Anyway ive been having a rubbish week with my asthma anyway so yesterday, just though it was that, but today I was ok for a bit until I went near the stage and cue massive coughing fit, I had to quickly get away from the stage so I didn't disturb the show! At least I could leave, not like you being committed to staying on stage for the full song!
You know you've asthma when
* You are convinced your inhalers are breeding, defo. agree with you there 1_winged_angel, and they make their own way round the house into all sorts of random places
* Your lungs are an early warning system for smoke/smokers, grass being cut outside etc even without much of a sense of smell
* As well as the GP ranking system you know what days they work
loub agree with your
* people with colds around you
* avoid supermarket cleaning aisles rather than fridge sections for me
hehe TJ I avoid both!
Know what you mean about the 'early warning system'. I'm always saying 'is someone setting fire to something?' because I can detect smoke.
Add another one:
*Not only do you rank GPs and know what days of the week your favourite GP works, but he gave you his email address 'to save coming in so much' and you are on first name email terms! (I've actually avoided a couple of appts through this).
*When on 2hrly ventolin (insert nebs etc. as appropriate) you can tell the time by how you are feeling
*You plan to combine as many tasks as possible to avoid multiple trips up and down stairs
You are stood between a male holding a machete and a lady holding a cigarette and you run (panting) towards the machete
Your GP looks at you and says so what inhaler do you want me to prescribe ?
The bule inhaler in not working, you realise it has run out then hunt for where
you put the speare one.
Also avoid anyone smoking
Friends don't need GPS to find you they just follow the coughing
When you stop at traffic lights and red, yellow and green make you reflect on your morning/afternoon peekflow readings or alternatively, you see the green light as a blue one instead.
You go to see the Dr and before he even starts talking to you he's setting up a nebulizer (happened today, poor Dr)!
You are walking with your husband and an ancient man goes by on the rustiest bike in the world.
""What an awful noise that is he needs his bike oiling to stop the rattle"" says I.
""Now you know what I have to put up with every night when you are asleep!"" says my beloved. uh
lol Pauline...
Another pharmacist story. I already knew they knew my face, but today I went in to pick up my Symbicort. The dispenser just did it, but then called pharmacist over to check it, and pharmacist looked at me and said right away 'are you on another new inhaler then?'
LOL. Ended up being there for a bit as she wanted to do another 'new medicine' review and their 'annual asthma review' (she said I am now eligible for several of their services...great, me and the grannies.) Quizzed me on my medicine use, then said I was due for an asthma review at the surgery...and I'd just come from the dr too! Just said I'd call them as needed something else as well but that they'd kind of passed the buck on asthma reviews...
You know you're asthmatic when 'it's complicated' refers to your asthma and not your love life! lol
I am not sure if all doctors surgeries do this, but at mine I have asked to be exempt from having an asthma review at my GP surgery... Mostly because I get seen so often else where, also because I am out of the nurses comfort zone with my asthma... so do not see the point of wasting their time and mine...
yep I know what you mean! I didn't say so but at the moment it seems a bit pointless me going for an asthma review when the nurse will just look confused, ask me if it really is asthma and then tell me to wait for what the RBH say! Maybe if I manage to get things sorted out and well controlled then I can start going to the surgery for reviews, but tbh even then I think I'm better off with my GP as he knows me and the ins and outs of my lungs better than the nurse - including the difficulty of assessing what's going on.
Though asthma nurse can help with stuff like inhaler technique etc. I have a routine blood test for something else booked and she's the one doing it so I might just ask - I think I'm ok as I can't usually taste the inhalers but would be good to check.
You know you're asthmatic when your asthma is described as complicated but interesting.
When you are out shopping and help out a mild asthmatic having an attack because there is no first aider on duty and you realise you are saying stuff automatically without having to think about it. You also realise as a brittle asthmatic how long ago since your asthma was mild and wishing the same was true today.
You know you're an asthmatic when:
Due to years on preds you are foot too short for your weight.
The chemist gives you a free bag for life when picking up your repeat prescription
When you see more of the hospital ward cleaner than you do the works cleaner
When you start to show the consultant your peak flows on your iPad and she takes it off you and already knows your pin number
in reply to
You know you're an asthmatic when:
Due to years on preds you are foot too short for your weight.
I love that way of putting it - no, I'm not over-weight, I'm under-height!
lol yorkieiron, are you sure your consultant's actually looking at your PFs? Maybe she thinks you have some cool apps and just wants to play with them - better check next time to make sure she's not just playing Angry Birds or checking out the specs because she wants an iPad too
I always get up the display for them to minimise them seeing the random stuff I have on the screen and the strange assortment of emails etc.
Oh, and re the original theme: I have recently graduated from 'pharmacist knows my face' to 'two pharmacists greet me by name as soon as they see me' and ask me 'are you on another new inhaler then?' Last time I had to go to the surgery to pick up the script to get it to them on time, and I could hear one saying to the other as I arrived panting 'ah she's back'.
A few more:
You know you're asthmatic when:
You are on so many drugs that when you pick up all of your medication, it's so heavy that it gives you an asthma attack.
When your peak flow is lower than your I.Q
When little old ladies help you across the road
When you turn up at work and your colleagues don't know who you are
When you go the same colour as your ventolin inhaler
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Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Hope you feel better soon. 
Luckily we were straight off stage after the dance cos i really needed my inhaler 
Do you have asthma or a lung condition? Have you changed to a lower-carbon inhaler and found it works well for you?
Continuing to take a Preventer during a cold when you need a Reliever 
asthma making me nervous to do cardio exercise 
Thank you - to all you weird and wonderful people in this community! 
