You know it`s going to be a bad day when

You know it`s going to be a bad day when ..................

You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.

Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the motorway.

Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.

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Two members of your family really need you at the same time and whatever way you do it or rush around as quickly as possible, someone is going to be hurt and in the end its most probably you.

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You know it's going to be a bad day when...

you have to go to a certain 'posh' shopping centre, filled with folk who apparently take great delight in ramming you with their trolley. Unfortunately has the best butcher's and greengrocer's shops for miles around, so is a necessary evil.

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you know its going to be a bad day when....

you roll over in bed and end up falling out

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you know its going to be a bad day when - you answer the landline phone and then the mobile when then noise is infact the wake up alarm going off.

you know its going to be a bad day when - over night you have had no flippin sleep yet again

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you know its going to be a bad day when you go to reposition your septum piercing and find its wedged itself rather uncomfortably UP your nose rather than hanging from it.

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you know its going be a bad day when got inlaws down or at theirs!

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....... it's not until you get into the shower that you realise you've no hot water...

.......when your brolly insists on you reenacting a scene from Mary Poppin's

.......when you put the milk in the cupboard and the tea-bags in the fridge!

aww

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you know its going to be a bad day when you go in to the kitchen, forget why your there and then when you sit down, remember what it was you wanted.

I do this a lot