3 years on

[KeiraMarie]

hey it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here, so far all has been well, my boys are now 8 & 3 & are the best of mates..

after I had my youngest Feb 2020 I was very unwell with boderline stress induced postpartum psychosis & was admitted to my MBU for 6/7weeks..

I bounced back pretty quickly & have done so well..

a yr after this I struggled with postpartum OCD/anxiety intrusive thoughts & rage.. but it soon settled by an increase in my antidepressants plus this started around the passing of my lovely grandad in August 2021.

Recently I’ve been longing for another baby, one last more, our final & third edition to complete our little family, so much so that’s it’s driving me bonkers…

I’ve been keeping a track of my cycles now since the start of this year & I know when my fertile window is yet so far haven’t acted on this as cause as much as I would love another pregnancy I feel maybe I would be anxiety ridden if I was to fall pregnant so soon.. yet I’m so wanting this at the same time as I’m so hoping that if I was to have one final more pregnancy that this would happily be the positive outcome I so desperately want & deserve.. without any signs of been unwell.. & I can this time round soak in that newborn bubble with my family/children at home & have the happy ending..

has anyone else struggled with this? These feelings/thoughts? If so how did you navigate through them? Have any of you made the decision to have another baby? If so how was you supported throughout the pregnancy & postpartum? Any tips/advice/stories would be very much appreciated 🤍

[Arabella-]

Hi there!

I had PP in 2016 then went on to have two more babies, both without PP. I was under a perinatal mental health team and used medication in advance as a preventative measure. I am deeply happy I have three children and would urge you to follow your dreams.

Take care xx

[RachelK_at_APP Moderator]

Hi KeiraMarie,

I’m glad you are doing well after being unwell after your second baby.

I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your grandad.

It can be conflicting having the feelings of wanting another baby but also the worry of what will happen if I get ill again.

I had pp with my first child in 2016 and went on to have another child in 2020 where I did not get unwell.

Before I got pregnant I went to my gp and was referred for preconception counselling where I met a doctor on the perinatal team who discussed what would happen if I were to get pregnant. Maybe this is something you could look into trying to get?

I also signed up for app’s one to one peer support and that definitely helped. Ellie_at_APP or Jenny_at_APP could help get you paired up with someone who has had a similar experience.

Good luck

Rachel

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi KeiraMarie, glad to hear back from you and that you are doing well now. It is lovely to read that your boys are the best of mates, cannot get better than that.I went on to have another baby after pp and pp did not recurred, I did get some depression a couple of months after birth, but it was possible to treat it at home with medication and therapy.

As others have said above, there are many things that can be put in place to protect you from pp. Ask your GP to refer you for preconception counselling, this will be an appointment with a perinatal psychiatrist and a chance to ask any questions you may have. I did this about a year before becoming pregnant again and found it very helpful. After becoming pregnant again I was referred to my local perinatal mental health team. I had regular catch ups with the psychiatrist throughout my pregnancy and took medication towards the last weeks. I was also put under a team of midwives that follow up higher risk pregnancies and that gave me great continuity of care.

Still it is an anxious decision and there is nothing wrong with taking your time to consider it, just the opposite. I do wish you all the best, do pop in here to ask any questions or share anything you would like, we are all here to listen

[Isabella5991]

Hello dear,

These comments are really positive and are making me feel better too!

I had ppp with my second daughter, but not my first. I have had mental health problems most of my life and hallucinations since I was a child. Generally very happy for most of it though! On and off medication 3 times in my life, but I will be on them for the rest of my life now.

I had a week of voices, hallucinations, mania ocd and anxiety when I stopped breastfeeding, but I was not severely unwell. It was just a week and I would come in and out of it. Mostly ok, but some moments were scary where I felt very manic, but it soon calmed down. The doctors think I’m sensitive to hormonal changes because I also have PPMD, but it’s quite mild on meds.

I would love more children, but I am also conflicted like you. I had two emergency C sections when I planned home births and they my were very traumatic for me. I couldn’t imagine going through another one, and of course I’m terrified of getting severely ill again. I could cope with a strange week of symptoms (I’d rather nothing at all!) but I don’t know how my hormones will react and if it will be full blown or not. My eldest daughter was 3 and a half and very aware and smart when I was ill. It traumatisied her, I couldn’t do that to her again. I feel I need to be here for them. But if we had a happy accident then I’d be very scared, but also feel I could do it with a big team of doctors.

I’m actually really wanting to adopt a baby once we move and have our farm and lots of space. I’d love to have loads of children running around our future farm! Have you thought about adoption? It feels like it could be a really good answer for us. It removes the fears for sure! Obviously there’s a lot that comes with adoption, but over all less stress than putting my self through what could happen with my own pregnancy.

Having another of your own could be completely fine like others have said! Check in with your doctors perhaps and you might feel a lot better about a decision xx

Hope this helps xx

[KeiraMarie]

Thankyou for all your replies I appreciate them so much! I really can’t shake this feeling of having our third & final baby.. my two are 9 & 4 next & I feel adding another one soon would be perfect & complete our little family.. if & when I do fall pregnant again, I’ll of course ask to be under the perinatal team as I feel having that extra support would make me feel less anxious during my pregnancy & after delivery.. I can only hope & pray for a successful pregnancy & postpartum

I’ll keep you all updated & check in on here

I’m glad to be back & see these positive outcomes from you all 🤍xx