I am recovering from PP following the birth of my daughter last May. I have been surfing the highs and lows and came off medication late January. Soon I will be discharged to my GP and plan to return to work in May. Although everything has followed as smooth a path as possible I am struggling with big feelings about whether I can cope and not having the support/ crutch of mental health services on the ward. I am attending counselling with perinatal specialists and plan to begin CBT soon. My anxiety and worry is continually up and down paired with low moods especially with time of the month, all within a reasonable remit but enough to make me feel low at times and alone. I’m feeling very emotional about milestones my daughter is now reaching and the time I’ve missed or have no memory of in the last year. I am very keen to have another child in the future but my husband is now against this and I’m struggling to come to terms with this. Just wondered if anyone has experienced similar feelings and best coping mechanisms.
Hi Olanzapinelenny, welcome to the forum, I am so sorry you had pp last May, it is such a traumatic event. You so well describe how pp is a wave that has repercussions further down the line, but it is possible to even come to terms with it in time. There are quite a few events coming up for you, return to work, your daughter coming to one year, discharge to your GP, all of this can be overwhelming. I remember just coming back to work felt so huge for me and at the time I was still under the perinatal services. You are not alone in feeling this way, we have been through it and know how tough it is. You are doing an incredible job as it stands.
I had pp in 2018, was in general psych first and then an mbu. There are many memories I don't have of my daughter as an infant. There are however countless memories I have made anew during and since my recovery. They will come for you as well.
Time is a healer, I come back every now and then to the phrase of my psychiatrist in the mbu, he told me "as hard as this time is for you, it will be short compared to your life and the life of your daughter". It has just been a few years since then and I realise how right he was.
Do take good care, write here with as much sincerity as you want, there are no judgements just empathy
thank you for your kind words. I hope time and putting the distance between things will help but I’m also sad she’s growing up! Take care x
Hi Olanzapinelenny, you are not alone feeling that way, I believe all mums feel that to an extent, pp adding more poignancy to it. I swing between wanting to freeze this age and hoping my kids will grow out of this annoying thing quickly. It will certainly get easier with time, do not despair, this illness won't define you or your relationship with your daughter as she grows.
Take good care, sending you a virtual hug