ppp again?

[becm]

my little boy is now 5. I've had ppp and relapsed at 2.5 years. My child has always struggled with emotions but over holidays has started hitting me constantly again.Threatening. I try to keep calm.tell him it's not acceptable.etc triti g still kers when he hasn't hit.but I'm worried I'm losing it again as i keep thinking g he's been taken over by demons . This was my psychosis thought and I'm worried its returning. Is there any advise? Thank you

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello becm

Thank you so much for reaching out for support here as you have in the past. As you might remember there is so much love and support here.

I’m so sorry to hear you are worried that your psychosis is returning. I had PP twice, six years apart, so I understand what a frightening experience it must be. Have you been able to talk to family about how you feel.? Perhaps you can call your GP tomorrow who might refer you for an assessment, just to put your mind at rest?

Is there any way you can distract your thoughts? Or is there a trusted family member you can visit with your son, just to have a break? Take care and thanks for writing ..... we are all here for you.

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Hello becm,I’m really sorry to hear about your son hitting you recently. That mustn’t feel nice for you, so I imagine it’s a tough time at the moment. I also have a five year old and I also had PP after their birth… so I know that five is a brilliant age, but there’s also big emotions going on!

It can be really unsettling to feel emotions yourself that take you back to a time when you were really really poorly, so I just wanted to say a huge well done for acknowledging what you’re feeling. It’s really good you’ve managed to write here.

I wonder whether it would be helpful to phone your doctors in the morning and chat this through with your GP? It might be that just their support and reassurance would be really helpful.

I also wondered, how you’re doing more generally? Being amongst a lovely community of mums here… many of whom are also in the middle of a six week summer holiday, myself for the first time, presumably yours too, it’s definitely not easy is it for anyone!!

I wonder what your son is feeling at the moment to be hitting out. I bet deep down it’s hurting him, that he’s hurting you - but he won’t know what to do with that emotion yet. Have you heard of the kids book the Colour Monster by Anna-Llenas? You might be able to pick it up from your nearest library? Our local library has a section for kids on emotions and thoughts. Maybe you both need some time still to adjust to the Summer holiday? And you might find it helpful to read some books with him? But that said, I know my five year old definitely needs to be in the right mood to want to read!

So just an idea.

Do chat with your family around you. Is there anyone who could help look after your son for a bit to help give you a bit of a break?

See what your GP says too. They’re there to listen and see how then can help.

Take care, Rachel xx

[HelenMW Volunteer]

Hello becm,

Glad you have been able to post your thoughts here. There will be many who absolutely understand how you are feeling, and will want to encourage you, and support you.

I am long through my psychosis, 33 years to be precise but just lately I have been chatting to a couple of mums whose children , aged 5 are taking their frustration out on mum. I don’t have any absolute answers but I wonder if covid and not being at school for those years has had some impact. I suppose I am trying to say you are not alone in this. Summer holidays and change in routines can also impact everyone.

I wonder what support you have? I had a couple of little wobbles after having had PP and each time I just reduced as much stress and decision making as I could. I watched lovely things on TV , things that I knew would lift my spirits, and kept jobs at home to a minimum. Made sure I had some early nights, nice baths and scents. I am someone who needs sleep and this heatwave can cause disturbed sleep! It was important for me to let my immediate family know how I was feeling so that they could help and just be there.

Do hope you are able to contact your GP to check in with how you are feeling.

Will be thinking of you and sending warm wishes.

Helen x

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer]

Hi becm

How have things been going for the last few days? I know it can be so upsetting when we worry about the impact of our periods of poor mental health on our children. It’s easy to feel a lot of guilt and blame even when our children might be behaving in a way that’s challenging but completely normal for their age and development.

Did you have an opportunity to reach out to your GP or mental health team/crisis team? It’s really good that you’ve noticed these may be “early warning signs”’.

Feel free to message any time here for support.

Naomi

[The_Wes_Anderson_Fan Volunteer]

Hello becmI wondered how you and your son were getting on?

It does sound like you were having pyschotic thoughts so I hope you have managed to contact someone for medical help.

Hopefully you can manage to get some rest and time out for yourself occasionally, so that you feel more able to cope.

Thinking of you.