Depression and Anxiety Following PP? Is this is from hereon?

[Strawberry55]

I had PP 7 years ago now, I recovered from the psychosis aspect, yet suffer daily with anxiety and depression, it's horrid. I am on anti depressants which I hate the stigma of but need. At times I feel so alone and weird compared to others. I work so hard to not let the feelings take over but it's exhuasting. Does anyone else have the same issue or feel the same, and is this it for life?

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Strawberry55

I am so sorry to hear that you suffered from pp 7 years ago and that you suffer from depression and anxiety at the moment.

My episode of pp was more recent 2 years ago, and even though I felt quite stable and well last year, since April this year my mental health deteriorated and I needed to go back on medication.

I empathise, sometimes I am completely in awe with a pang of jealousy of anyone that can carry on with their lives with barely a bump along the road. But then again, we only see a small part of a person's internal life, and we can't really tell what goes through anyone's mind. They could be struggling as much as you and I, but keeping it to themselves, we'll never know.

If anything I can say that having gone through the experience of pp and the depression that followed it, I have learned to be much more aware of my mental state, and to take action to feel well again. Yes, its a constant watch and I can imagine it gets very tiring, I am only 2 years into this journey and I would give anything to not to have second thoughts any time I stop sleeping.

I think in this community you will find many others that have gone and are going through similar experiences to you. Please, don't feel alone, we are all here for each other, and things will get better.

Take care, thinking of you

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Strawberry55

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your support of other mums here. I’m really sorry to hear you suffer anxiety and depression on.a daily basis, as you say, it’s horrid.

I think I mentioned in your previous posts that I had PP many years ago, followed by severe depression and anxiety. It’s very draining isn’t it and so tiring? Do you have support from the community mental health team? I was also on antidepressants and like you felt reluctant to take them due to stigma but I’m glad that you realise they are keeping you stable so there’s a need for them.

Do you think your GP might refer you for talking therapy, just for someone to listen to your worries and perhaps offer coping strategies? I find chair yoga relaxing (I’m not too good with exercising on a mat on the floor!) Listening to music was also a distraction for me.

I think with time anxiety becomes manageable although with the Covid crisis it has been difficult. Hopefully your depression will lift and you will start to have better days ..... recovering from PP is very up and down at times. We are always here to talk if it helps. Take care and be kind to yourself.

[Strawberry55]

Thank you both. I am very aware of my MH and try to manage it as best as I can. I have had CBT a few times, talking does really help me and the tools help but then once over I am on my own again. I have recently started a diary again, I think the issue with me is not acknowledging my feelings, burrying them and then they all bottle up and there becomes a bottle neck. This forum is great though at offering support and suggestions. It ia nice to know / be reminded your not alone. x

[Milliemillie]

Hi Strawberry55

You are definitely not alone. I had post partum psychosis two and a half years ago and I still suffer from anxiety, depression and insomnia (you are lucky you don’t say you have that too?!) I take medication and this helps me and have recently been in touch with my mental health team who I think will offer me some CBT.

I think just keeping the communication going is a really good way to help yourself. You sound like you are doing really well, all things considering. It’s important not to be too hard on yourself. You’ve been through a lot. Take care xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Strawberry55

As you say it’s nice to know / be reminded you are not alone

There is a recent post on the forum page from Strongmom21 entitled “Depression and Anxiety” in which she asked about helpful resources. Amongst the replies is one from Volunteer, KatG, giving very helpful links. Perhaps you might find something there for you?

I think it’s a good idea to start a diary again. Perhaps this would also be good to show to your GP at your next review so he can see how you have been feeling? You’re a great mum, coping with routine and the effects of medication, so be proud and kind to yourself.

Take care .... we are always here to listen. x

[Csanderson Volunteer]

Hello, I’m so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time,

You are never alone!

I too have recovered on a psychosis side of things but struggle daily with anxiety.

Always scared of getting ill again but as you can see my the comments above, there are many people here to support you and you are not the only one!

Never be ashamed of your mental health or any medications you take. It’s not something you can control.

We are here for you and it does get better !

You are doing so well