PTSD

[Poulson]

I have written to my psychiatrist for a second opinion today. I believe I am suffering from Complex PTSD, not Bipolar. I had the visit with the police and they have gone to see my mother to tell her not to come to my house anymore. She was very abusive towards me and said some very hurtful things. The police have advised me to get an injunction against my family.

I am not looking forward to a court case but I believe I have taken the correct steps to get my family off my back once and for all. My daughter was very curt with me when I rang her today. I have been to see my son and his girlfriend and my granddaughter today. My mother and daughter have not gotten to him yet, and if he turns against me it will totally break my heart.

I keep focusing on my good memories of my children, like giving birth, birthdays, Christmas and their Christenings. My neighbour told me that when my mother was at the door my eyes changed colour before her eyes, that was because I was so angry with her. I have green eyes but they turned to bright blue. I have been told that in the past, that my eyes change colour under certain circumstances, for example when I am angry or have just had sex. I wonder if that is normal?

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Poulson

Although I empathise with what you have been through and I'm not excusing the abuse you suffered, I think you need to weigh up the consequences of taking Court action against your mother and some family members. You are putting yourself through stress already waiting to see if your daughter will set your son against you. As you say, if so, you will be heartbroken.

I think you need to focus on all you have achieved despite your abusive past. You now have a chance to be happy with your husband and treasured grandaughter and your family. Don't let the past define you ..... try to celebrate the future and all it holds for you as against all odds you are still standing as a true survivor and there is much more to life than dwelling in the past.

I'm not making light of your PTSD but think if you can meet your mother to air your frustration in a calm manner, you might have a better outcome rather than adding to your stress by going to Court and perhaps losing contact with your son and grandaughter as a result. I think your psychiatrist would advise against taking such action which might impede a full recovery. Take care.