Hi everyone, just posting as I hadn't for a while, a bit of an update on my illness. Just a warning this post touches on issues around sex so it could be triggering for some.
I've been having a few really good days, where I don't pressurise myself and I have great fun with my daughter, making her laugh and smile and where I feel very connected to her. Usually though these days then seem to be followed by another dip in energy levels, lethargy and not being as engaged with others including my daughter. It seems like I've ran out of steam.
Is this something that others are familiar with on their roads to recovery?
My relationship with my partner has been suffering a lot lately as I'm finding physical intimacy very difficult. I have been sexually assaulted multiple times by different men in the past but now is when my mind has decided to make it a problem, with my loving supportive partner. I feel like screaming and hitting him whenever he touches me. It's so unfair on him, he wouldn't ever hurt me in that way but for some reason my mind can't see the difference with loving intimacy and sexual assault. Can anyone identify with this, has anyone else experienced anything similar?