Frustrated by reminders

[Revans86]

Hi all,

Not posted in a while. But today I need some reassurance.

I was just putting my little one to bed and he managed to get hold of his Ewan the dream sheep. It’s a comforter that plays sound. Anyway, I used it A LOT when we were in the mother and baby unit and this evening when my little one managed to push the button it took me right back to being in hospital. I cried in the middle of his bedtime story.

Also, my little one has taken to head banging when he’s badly teething, which again has disturbed me this week as I was reminded that I did this too when I was poorly. Whether accidentally or not as I was so tired, I’m not sure.

Im struggling with reminders, maybe as it’s coming up to the year anniversary. Can anyone offer me reassurance that it will all fade in time?

Xxx

[krodwell]

It’s probably because it’s coming near to the anniversary. Things will improve, I’ve had very severe illness and am now recovered and leading a ‘normal’ life again. It takes time, you’ve got to ride the wave and keep hope. Wishing you a speedy recovery, we are here for you.x

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Oh Revans86, you poor thing! The one year anniversary is definitely the hardest milestone to pass. It’s no wonder such sensory reminders take you right back to that dark time. Rest assured that you are safe and well, and recovering really well. The reminders are horrible - but they don’t mean you are relapsing or anything like that. I guess all I can suggest is to do lots and lots of “self care” of yourself around this time and get lots of sleep and rest. And maybe factor in a few treats to look forward to as well? I promise that with each passing year it gets easier and easier. None of us ever forget it, but I think with time comes more acceptance, and a sort of dulling of the visceral stuff, if that makes sense?

Take care

Kat x

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Revan86

Just to add to the reassuring replies .... I think it's quite upsetting how triggers can take us back and being only the first anniversary your memories will be quite raw. As well as remembering the trauma, it's reassuring to remind yourself about how far you have come in such a short time.

Perhaps mindfulness meditation would be helpful to focus on the present moment? This has been beneficial to some mums here and I've also listened to mindfulness music on YouTube which I found very calming after a stressful day.

Anniversaries can take us back but memories do fade with time. I think we should also remember how much we have been through .... we are all unique, courageous women and you should be very proud of yourself

Take care.

[Hidden]

Me, too...time will heal and we become wiser...we probably manage life in a very different way...sensitive and kind...

It is good to be able to communicate our feelings in many ways...like here on the forum. (Yoga, painting, journalising etc.)

Emotions are part of our recovery, part of us...I embrace those with open arms, because if I supress or ignore I jeopardise and imbalance my Yin and Yang

Look after yourself and yes, it will get easier each year.

Kindness and love,

x

[IzReb]

Yes those memories will fade in time. I found the 'recovery ' time the hardest, something people don't appreciate about mental health. It did take a long time to come to terms with the thoughts I'd had during my illness. My CPN likened it to a bell jar being mixed up and now in recovery the various layers had to resettle and find their layer. Take care of yourself you will get there where emotions are less raw. Maybe some counselling would help when you're ready. Good luck and enjoy your baby. X

[Chick44nzrn]

Dear Revans .its very true that when you suffer trauma reminders trigger all the same reactions as when it happened originally , but this does fade . . If this persists and you get no peace of mind please consider getting professional help as there are some brilliant therapies to overcome these bad moments. Smells sounds pictures people etc can all trigger very emotional reactions . .youve had a hard time and you're clearly doing a great job as a mum ., and your family must be proud of you ! Best wishes x

Denise

[Revans86 Volunteer]

Thank you for your replies everyone. Sorry I didn't reply at the time.

I downloaded a meditation app at someone's recommendation a while ago and that has been a help to me.

I still get overcome by the emotion sometimes, mainly just the enormity of what happened to me / us all.

Hope you're all doing OK and thank you for your ongoing kind words and reassurance.

xxx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Revan86

Good to hear from you. Don't worry about replying, as long as the support was helpful.

I think if you are feeling emotional you need to cry as a release instead of bottling it up ..... like a kettle letting of steam Perhaps if you had counselling you might develop coping strategies to reduce your stress and it would be a place to talk openly?

My episodes were many years ago and so not as raw as your memories. I don't think we will ever forget such a traumatic time in our lives as it was so unexpected .... but we can breathe a sigh of relief that we have recovered and our children are very treasured.

Take good care of yourself ..... we are all here to listen.