Need help and advice

[Concernedda]

My partner has been diagnosed with postpartum physcosis. She was sectioned on 19th April and signed a confidentiality clause to stop me getting any information on her. She was released 12 days later and came to my parents where I am staying demanding the baby. I advised her to calm down and she exploded at me. I'm now I'm court with all sorts of allegations being made against me that just aren't true. I love my partner and the past few weeks have been hell for me not knowing anything and being told the girl I love doesn't want any information given to me. My immediate concern is that she gets better and I am also concerned for the safety of our daughter. Has anyone been through a similar situation?

[scissorsister]

I am sorry that you are going through this. Surely when dismissed from hospital your partner has after care in place? I can offer no legal advice but surely as the father you have rights? I also would question her state of mind when she signed the document? Safeguarding of the baby is the priority here and I would suggest you contact the mental health professionals dealing with this (or not by the sounds of it) and they could note your concerns and act on them if deemed necessary.. The 'allegations' are something that are hurtful to you and damaging but will heal in time. It does seem very early on to be recovered from PPS and I hope that the hospital are providing her and the baby with the community care she needs

[ZacsmumLou]

This sounds like such a horrid situation for you all. All I would say is that your partner might still not be thinking clearly and that might be affecting her decision making and fuelling the allegations you mentioned.

Try to continue to work with your partner and the professionals around you and really that's all you can do at the minute.

Every situation is different but for me, I felt very let down by my husband at first and didn't feel I could trust him and this took months to work through.

I hope things begin to improve for you all soon

[Asppp13 Volunteer]

Dear Concernedda,

I just really wanted to respond to this post because I really relate to how much of a strain this illness can put on a relationship.

The main advice is for neither of you to make any major decisions until your wife is fully recovered.

While going through my illness I believed that initially I was in a woman's refuge simply because there were woman only signs on the bathroom doors and I was too unwell to realise that I was actually on a mothers and baby unit due to the illness. While I was in hospital I didn't fully trust my husband enough to let him have much say in my care and preferred advocates or friends to sit in on meetings. I worried about the fact that he was a pharmacist and it might be a drug experiment trial that he'd tricked me into signing up to. I kept my rings in the safe or on a bracelet round my wrist instead of wearing them and stuff like that.

These delusions can be based on a small facts taken out of context but when unwell you are very susceptible to this happening and your thoughts jump to conclusions more quickly. The result is that you often believe very strongly things that you wouldn't believe either before or after the episode but it takes a while afterwards to recognise that.

It's very difficult to work through and I don't know what help there is out there for couples experiencing difficulties going through this. A lot will be down to friends and family supporting you both.

It sounds like you really care about your partner so I desperately hope your situation improves. Don't give up hope as it's possible she might see things more clearly later down the line.

Continue to be understanding if you can even if it's hard. I'm not convinced my husband ever fully understood how much of what I said and did related to the illness. I know that's not easy and I just wish I had more advice that might be helpful for you guys.

[suzannah0]

Dont worry re confidentiality clause. Let her have privacy and space. She will get better quicker this way. Some things my family never knows, just the doctors.