So I have been out of the hospital for about three weeks now and things were going great until they switched my meds due to excessive weight gain. Now my symptoms are creeping back, and they are titrating the new meds so slowly. My husband wants to go to his parents' this weekend and they just bought a crib for our baby to sleep in, but I feel as though I need to go back to inpatient. I feel guilty for feeling this way, but every morning I wake up anxious and wauting for the symptoms to come back.
What should I do?
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TwoUnderTwo
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Really sorry to hear that you are struggling on the start of new meds. It's such early days since you came out of hospital and I can really understand your feelings of anxiety.
Do you have support from the mental health team at home at the moment? It sounds like it would be really good to sit down with your partner and your mh worker oe psychiatrist and talk through your feelings. It's not a failure if you do decide to go back into hospital. Equally your mh team might be able to offer more regular support in person or on the phone to get you through the meds switch.
I'd also say make sure you & your partner have the crisis team number handy so you can call them straight away if symptoms escalate.
Take good care of yourself and try to take each day a step at a time. We are here any time you need to chat.
It's never an easy time in the first few weeks after coming out of hospital & it sounds like a very worrying & anxious time for you. I think it's a fragile time where you need to take extra care & take things as easy as you can. Well done for looking after yourself & monitoring your mood closely to stay well!
What early symptoms do you feel are creeping back? I remember the first week after I went home, a couple of times I felt my mind speeding up & racing again - it was really scary because I thought it was all starting again, but after I lay down & slept for a while it quickly went away - phew! If any of your symptoms don't quickly go away or get worse at all, you know to get help quickly - it might be a good idea to have a phone number close by just in case.
How long have you been on the new meds for? I wonder if they just need more time to settle down or if they need adjusting at all? Either way, it'd be a really good idea to speak to your Psychiatrist as soon as you can to get professional advice to keep your mood stable. It's a time when you can feel pretty fragile & they'll be able to put your mind at rest & advise whether being an inpatient again is good for you or not.
It's really good that you're carefully considering if going away for the weekend or not now is a good idea. I understand what a difficult decision it is & feeling bad for letting people down, it feels like you've put them through enough already. You can't feel like this though - your health is priority right now & all they'll want is for you to stay well. I'm sure if you explain that it's a delicate time at the moment & you need to focus on self-care (keeping stress, anxiety, disruption etc.) to a minimum they'll understand. I'm sure delaying the visit for a few weeks until you're feeling stronger wouldn't be a problem at all. I think the key here is to talk to your husband explaining your worries & the impact the visit could have & I'm sure everyone will understand.
Let us know how you're getting on if you can (don't feel you have to though, I know rest time away from computers is a good thing). Take good care x
I'm so pleased you've written to us, this is such a common experience during recovery from PP. The roller coaster nature of reducing or changing meds can be hard work in the early days and we all know how you feel.
Like Andrea and Naomi, I too remember the disappointment of symptoms seeming to creep back again having been on the up. I remember being allowed out of hospital for the weekend and coming down to my parents home in Kent. I was so pleased to be out of London and ready to have a 'normal' weekend. I woke up on the first morning in an awful state, shaky, anxious and low. I was so disappointed. I just wanted to get back to the hospital asap and felt so guilty for letting everyone down when they'd been so pleased to see me happier. Whilst it was incredibly frustrating, I realised recovery was going to take a lot of patience and acceptance and I just couldn't rush it.
The top priority is always your well being and if you are feeling anxious and a little overwhelmed I am sure your husband (and his parents) will understand if the weekend trip is too much.
It would be great if you can see your psychiatrist or Mental Health team soon too and let them know how you are feeling under the new meds.
Be gentle with yourself and we are all here to chat to if you feel up to it.
Whilst no cure, lavender scented baths and chamomile tea were always a great comfort for me!
I'm so sorry you have had this setback with your new medications, especially after your positive Happy New Year post. It's very early days yet and coming home to the routine of life is a very anxious time. There is so much more to think about and plan isn't there?
I think your husband will understand if you are not comfortable just yet visiting your in-laws. You could explain that your are adjusting to being at home for now but will go for an overnight stop when you are feeling better?
For now I would concentrate on how you feel day by day. If you think going back as an inpatient is best for you I'm sure your G.P. can help you decide. After my second psychosis, many years ago, I came home from a long spell in a general psychiatric hospital but was readmitted. I'm not sure why as 'it' has never been talked about but I did fully recover and regained my place. Don't feel guilty, your husband and family are there for support and we are all here for you too.
I know when I came out of hospital there were times when I thought symptoms were coming back. It took a long while for me to feel better, after the PP had gone I was scared to miss sleep or scared of any time my mind was racing that extra bit faster. I was left with severe anxiety about things, everything seemed heightened. All I would say is don't rush into anything it is early days and takes a while to get through these times but you so get there.
What really helped me was the recovery guide (a guide available on this site) I wasn't ready to come onto the forum yet, although really find it helpful now. The guide explained all of the symptoms you can experience after PP and how long it can take to get over.
Well done for knowing your feelings, be honest with yourself and take each day at a time. Talk to your family and MH team.
Hey everyone. My psych advised me to go back to inpatient as symptoms were escalating. I am home now. They adjusted my meds and I am now waiting for them to titrate a little more. I am still feeling pretty shaky and symptoms are still sort of in the background.
The symptoms that were coming back were the delusions I was having while under the grips of PPP. I still feel like it has a hold on me so I am doing partial hospitalization now.
Hi TwoUnderTwo, I'm so pleased you got the help you needed & were/are being looked after as an inpatient - although I know how hard & challenging that can be. It's really good that you & your Psych recognised symptoms escalating - well done for good communication there!
It's understandable you're feeling pretty shaky right now, possibly both physically & emotionally - you've been through and are going through so much. I guess your body is working hard right now until the meds settle down & do their job. The waiting is very hard but you will get there. In the meantime, try to take it easy & get as much rest as you can (easy to say I know), also be as kind & gentle with yourself as possible. Carry on monitoring your mood as you are but try not to worry - everything will be OK. You will get through this. We're here for you.
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7 months PP breastfeeding and struggling with insomnia after tapering off the meds at 4 months
regret 
