drained

[25lostballoons]

Hi there!

I'm new here and I'm 25 yr old mom of two.

I'm a working mom on a nigh shift, my job is so easy and the salary is quite good. I do have a house husband who's taking care of my 2 kids.

So, yes, I'm a bread winner and thankful that husband is taking care of us 24/7. However, husband always tell me how lazy I am, how sleepy I am and so dependent to him. As a working mom on grave yard I'm trying my best to keep myself awake when I got home but when you're really sleepy you can't help in doing household chores and even stay lively to entertain the family of four.

Whenever I have strength to help in the morning, I do whatever I can but it always turns out that it's still worthless for my husband. Whenever I tried to help buying veggies or let's say groceries, always have these comments on how I'm bad at picking the right food although, I have given all my best to search for the right goods and yet, I'm still not helpful at all.

There's no day in a week that he will not say either in sarcastic or serious way how I'm lazy and immature I am.

Today, he asked me to buy veggies then before he cook it he said '' you should not buy this kind of blahblah, I can't imagine you buying our daily foods on your own" he said it in a sarcastic way while smirking then just said it's ok.

He's a nice man actually but he doesn't have control on the things that come out from his mouth even to our toddlers.

I've been dealing with health issue for almost 2 months now, I have different kind of illness, just minor such as having sore throat, lymph nodes (5 on my left neck), fever, toothache, and currently, constipation with hemorrhoids.

He is there to remind me of the things I need to make ma feel better but then, will eventually, express how irritated he is because I'm always sick and have a very low pain resistance.

Sorry if I said many things about my husband. Btw, we've been together for nearly 9 yrs and still no yet married due to financial reason.

That's all for now. As much as I would like to tell more stories about my life, I will just leave it here.

Thank you for letting me out this pain.

[Jeff1943]

So maybe he resents the fact that he's not the breadwinner, feels guilty, feels jelous of you bringing in the pay check when according to traditional roles he should be doing that. Maybe. Either way you can't go on letting him grind you down and affecting your mental wellbeing.

You need to talk to him. More than that you need to frighten him a little. Tell him you strongly object to him constantly undermining your sekf esteem "AND IT'S MAKING ME ILL!" Remind him you work hard at your job and and you EXPECT SOME RESPECT FOR THAT! Tell him you can't put up with it any more so WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE GOING OUT TO WORK IF IT'S ALL SO EASY, HEY HOW ABOUT THAT? Tell him you're not satisfied with the lack of support he's giving you with your health issues.

Maybe make contingency plans if he carries on as normal but in the meantime he needs you to give him a shock, a bit of a fright. AND ANOTHER THING, YOU DON'T TALK TO THE CHILDREN LIKE THAT ANY MORE!

Speak firmly, speak slowly, speak quietly, don't respond to his raised voice.

It's only a suggestion of course.

[Nicki1984]

He is definitely resenting the situation right now. Do you both give each other time for a break from kids/house each week? Maybe suggest he goes out one day or afternoon just for himself maybe if he has this time each week he wouldn't feel so negative. Equally you need your rest after a night shift so it's finding a compromise. Otherwise I'd suggest he goes and does some nights and then not sleep see how he feels!! Need to communicate how you are both feeling say ok our situation is not working what shall we do? X