Family bereavement

[Gibbo1981]

Anybody got tips on how to cope with bereavement. Really struggling. Can not sleep

[Natsteveo]

Hi honey, there is no way of telling you the easiest way to grieve because everyone grieves differently I am so sorry for your loss your going to go through different types of emotions I did when I lost my mum 7years ago to cancer and I'm still raw now I do hope you can deal with it as best you can sending hugs to you

[Hidden]

Sorry for your loss

You ask a hard question to answer and we are all different and what can be your way may be not in anothers taste. Over the years I have been involved in many deaths and had to watch people or relatives failing then departing. It should get more easy although it never does.

Personally if I feel that I have done all I can for the person and am not being over the top. That is more important to me and knowing I have done all I can do, I never feel weepy. Personally those with a guilt are those who grieve more and I can live with that difference

Remember it is the memories of the person you have at death can give you more acceptance of that loss. It is that that makes a death more easy with your concience

BOB

[Gibbo1981 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. You makequite a lot of sense. Thank you

[689908]

Hello,

I have not lost siblings or parents, but I did lose two very close cousins some years back. One died in a car accident about 1/2 a mile from my house. For three weeks after his death I began having nightmares where I heard cars collide. I would wake & look out the window towards where it all occurred.

What I found was that thinking of a really happy time with him was beneficial. We had won something together on a sports team despite me being a lot older. I kept thinking back to when that happened and I thought of the joy we had. Even to this day when I think of him, his smiling face comes into my mind and that memory of him has been great. It's like pausing a DVD at that point & not allowing it to play any further as I know what happens after.

I still think of him every day and that happy face comes into my mind & I think wherever he is, I hope he is happy and I will see him some day again.

I hope this helps you & I am sorry for your loss.

[Gibbo1981 in reply to 689908]

Hi im sorry to hear sbout you friend. It was my grandad that passed away. I would like to say we were close. Just hard not having him around any more telling me stories about when he was you and how he ran away with my grandma to get married. I have good memories and ill never forget him . X

[689908]

Not forgetting him is key though. Why not write down his stories into a journal and when you have them all written down, organise them in some sort of order that makes sense to you, put his picture in there too and read one story per day.

That way he will always be with you and you will look forward to that story each day.

I understand totally how you feel. One of my Grandads died in 1993 the oher in 2007. I still think of them both and have happy memories of both.

[Hidden in reply to 689908]

That sounds like a very good idea. I think I'll try that. Struggling to cope after the death of my Sister

[Gibbo1981]

Thats a fantastic idea. Thank you very much.

[kel1203]

I've got an idea which might help, or it might not of course, it is something I do do, and it definitely helps me. Whatever it is that is going through your mind and stopping you from sleeping, needs to be addressed.

My idea is to go out and buy a greeting card, it doesn't have to be a Christmas card or anything, but take time when trying to find one, one that fits best for you and your grandad, something personal.

When you've got some spare time and you're on your own, use that card and write him a letter. Tell him how much you miss him, and tell him all about the troubles you have that are going through your mind. I promise that you will cry...a lot, probably whilst writing it. It won't be easy, but I think you need to let it out.

Then find a safe place somewhere, outside would be my advice, and set it alight. Use a clay plant pot or something to contain it, I use an old ceramic dish. Now watch it slowly burn, focus on it.

Night time is better for this, when it's quiet. It's kind of a way of sending it to him. I'm not religious or anything. If you do give it a go, let me know how it goes?

remember to be safe.

Best wishes.

Kerry.

[689908]

Hi Gibbo

How are you doing now? I think the last post was an excellent idea and should help.

Saying goodbye is one of the toughest things in life. if your Grandad meant that much no wonder you are finding it difficult.

Anyway, just want to say I am interested to hear how you are doing and hopefully things are better.