Dementia Help

[msweesy]

My Dad has been diagnosed with advanced dementia recently.

A couple months ago we moved him into an assisted living facility and took over his finances. Many Doctors have agreed that is not mentally or physically able to care for himself, However my Dad is constantly insisting that he can take care of himself. Despite that fact that before we took over he was bouncing checks and living in filth. He calls us at all hours of the day and night and starts fighting with us that he can care for himself.

I know he is not fit to care for himself but I don't know what to do.

[jaykay777]

Perhaps a social worker at Dad's assisted living facility can advise you how to deal with his behavior. Some people have satisfied the demands of the dementia patient by giving them non-usable checkbook.

[Mapemily in reply to jaykay777]

My siblings and I are in the same situation. The social worker at the Assisted Living Has given us some guidance. One important thing I'm learning is to empathize with my mom. "I know you want to go home, I wish you could."

My mom, too, thinks she can still manage her finances. She doesn't remember the bounced checks or other problems she caused. There is no way to "explain" things, as the memory isn't there. I hate being the "mean child". This is a painful process

[Mpeterson53]

Unfortunately, it seems personality changes are often part of the dementia process. If he has awareness of the changes in his life he is probably angry, not necessarily at you, but just angry.

Social worker, neuropsychologist or speech language pathologist familiar with dementia should be able to give you some suggestions. Jaykay777's idea seems a possible one.