Write me a afib poem please. Here's one! (Jean - I can't wait to read yours!)

[Paulbounce]

Hi HU community.

This post is a follow on from the thread by MarkS about AI.

healthunlocked.com/afassoci...

I thought it would be fun if some members wrote a funny poem about afib using ChatGPT. It's easy to do. Just sign up and ask it to write a funny poem about afib (or a serious one) and put a few keywords you want it to mention. You'll have a tailor-made poem in seconds. Here's one I put on Mark's thread.

Paul

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a forum for atrial fib,

Where hearts beat to a funky jib,

There's PaulBounce, oh what a name,

With HR rate that's quite a game.

Jean is there, so full of cheer,

FJ, Wilsond, and CD appear,

BobD joins the fun, what a feat,

All with a heart that skips a beat.

We talk of pills and healthy ways,

And pray for better heart-rate days,

But when we're feeling down and blue,

We turn to each other, me and you.

We laugh and joke, we have a ball,

We don't let atrial fib at all,

We take each moment as it comes,

And keep on bouncing, everyone!

[BobD Volunteer]

Brilliant,

But Jean doesn't need an ap she's so good.

I'm expecting the poems to come at a flood

The subject is fine,

If you drink some good wine.

And you can't see the trees for the wood.

(No ap was harmed in the making of that poem)

[Paulbounce in reply to BobD]

Jean does not need ChatGPT to write a good poem Bob - you are right. It will be fun to read other's poems. Yours is pretty good too.

Paul

[jeanjeannie50]

I'm going to cheat a little here and pop on some of the poems about AF that I've already put on this forum. May think up a new one later.

I have a little problem, it really is a pain.

You see I drop a tablet and it's never found again!

I keep a handy pill-box on a table near my bed.

The bed it hides the tablets, they'll find them when I'm dead.

Why was she hiding pills here, they'll utter in surprise.

They're going to find so many there they'll really raise their eyes.

But I'll be up in heaven and will not give a jot,

I'll just gaze down at them all and maybe laugh a lot.

Do you have this problem too and have you found a cure?

To stop me dropping tablets upon my bedroom floor.

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Great Jean. Your poems knocks ChatGPT out of the water - I think you missed your vocation in life! You should have been a programmer for ChatGPT to write the poem algorithm heheh.

Paul

[LizLancashire in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Love this Jeanjeannie, must have missed it first time round. This is me too. I have drawers on castors under the bed but they don't come out very often. The last time I found 7 pills - and lots of fluff!

[Tudee in reply to LizLancashire]

i always thought lulu’s Eurovivision entry ‘Boom bang a bang ‘ said it all.

[Paulbounce in reply to Tudee]

My neighbour started banging on my wall at 3:20am this morning, can you believe it? Fortunately, I was still up, listening to music on my new speakers.

I turned it up louder to drown him out but he kept banging and shouted “can we have a little respect please?”

I shouted back “I’m not a big Aretha Franklin fan but I'll put on Lulu's Bang a Bang Boom instead”.

OK OK, I'll get my hat and leave.

Paul (very bad jokes) Bounce

[Tudee in reply to Paulbounce]

🤣🤣🤣🤣I love it, brightened my day.

[Paulbounce in reply to Tudee]

Why did Tudee's face light up when she heard Paul's joke? Because like a successful cardioversion it sparked joy and made her smile!

[Tudee in reply to Paulbounce]

Im going to steal that one Paul.

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to LizLancashire]

I've never thought of taking the drawers out of the bed to look for pills dropped. Knowing my luck they wouldn't go back and spiders would set up home there!

[jeanjeannie50]

Here's the silly story I put on here a few years ago:

A fantasy story for those with AF and living in isolation

Written by JeanJeannie 25/3/2020

Escape to the Planet Ayef

The world was in turmoil, it had been several months since the virus outbreak had started and caused worldwide panic. More and more people were suffering each day.

Then early one sunny morning, quite unexpectedly, people awoke to the sight of something more than strange, if not a little sinister, large domed and circular space crafts were dotted around the world. Absolutely no one had witnessed, or even heard their coming. They sat quietly and by mid morning, on the day of their appearance, armed soldiers were guarding their perimeters.

It must have been 2pm before the first contact was made. People watching their tv's suddenly saw their screens change, colours became more vivid and then suddenly a man appeared. He looked about 40, was slim and had a calm, peaceful vibrancy about his person that no one quite understood. His hair was long and tied back and he wore a simple kaftan.

“Earth friends, we come in peace and aim to help you recover from the predicament you find yourselves in. Unfortunately, you have lost your way on this earth and veered greatly from the basic rules of caring for your beautiful planet. I am sorry to say that your greed and uncaring nature has brought this about. While half of the richest people in your world struggled not to eat too much and grow fat, the other half starved and lived in extreme poverty and you gave little thought to them – if any thought at all. You continued to destroy large areas of wild forests and the beautiful rolling countryside, with no thought but for your own profit. Plastic and other waste now litters and pollutes your seas and land. I have to tell you that nature intends to take drastic action and eliminate every one of you from this world before you destroy it completely.

There is no need to fear us, we come only to help and if you will listen we can save your planet and everyone that lives here. The cure is simple, you must begin caring about other people, more than you do about yourselves and gathering possessions. You must discard all electrical gadgets that work through airwaves and start communicating, with people face to face in a loving and kind way. You must adopt a simpler style of living and please, please remember that all that is needed in life is healthy food, pure clean water and air, shelter, warmth and the love and caring of all the worlds people. Remember too that you are one race – the human race! You have it in your power to stop this virus, but unless you adapt to simpler living you will not survive.

We are here to help those on this planet that are of our descent, we placed you here two centuries ago to try to show these people the right way of living. You have tried your best and failed, now we need to take you home.

All those who have a heart that beats at what earthlings call an abnormal rate are our people, though of course they have never known this. They are the only ones who can live on our planet as our atmosphere is very different to yours. I ask all you people with this condition to report to your nearest spacecraft, you need bring no possessions, they are not valued in our world and you will be provided with a simple kaftan on entry to the craft. Do not bring any medication as you will not need it with us, the air on our planet is pure. You are going home friends, home to our beautiful planet Ayef”.

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Escape to the Planet Ayef,

A place that's beyond belief,

Where the air is clean and pure,

And no virus can endure.

But wait, there's a catch,

Only those with a rapid heart rate can match,

The alien's atmosphere and thrive,

And leave Earth behind to survive.

It's a simple life they promise,

No gadgets, no luxury or bonus,

Just the basics that we all need,

Food, water, shelter, and love, indeed.

So if your heart beats a little faster,

Pack your bags, leave your blaster,

And head on to the spacecraft nearby,

To start your journey to the sky.

But for those who don't meet the mark,

You'll have to stay and do your part,

To care for the planet that we share,

Or else, it's destruction we'll have to bear.

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Paulbounce]

Wow Paul, you can certainly make up rhymes quickly. I have to be in the mood to write one. Will give some thought to a new one.

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Oh Jean, don't you worry

I'll make you smile in a hurry

With a funny poem, just for you

That'll chase away any blues

When it comes to rhyming, I'm quite the pro

I can make up silly poems on the go

But if you need time to find your muse

Take all the time you need, no need to rush or cruise

So put on your thinking cap

And let your creativity unwrap

And when you're ready, give me a shout

I'll be here waiting, without a doubt

We'll write a poem that's witty and bright

Full of humor and pure delight

And when we're done, we'll both agree

That our poem is the best there could be!

[Buffafly in reply to jeanjeannie50]

He cheated - a bot wrote it 👾

[Paulbounce in reply to Buffafly]

Buffafly, oh Buffafly,

Don't you dare you deny,

That Paul's a poet extraordinaire,

He writes poems without a care!

Sure, he's quick, but don't be mean,

His poems are the best you've seen,

They're funny, sweet, and oh so clever,

Written in no time, like a feather.

So don't you go and spread the rumor,

That Paul's a bot, a pesky fella,

For we all know he's human, real,

A poet with a wit of steel.

Buffafly, oh Buffafly,

Just sit back, relax, and sigh,

As Paul churns out his rhyming lines,

With speed that's simply divine!

[Buffafly in reply to Paulbounce]

🤣

[BobD Volunteer in reply to jeanjeannie50]

I remember the film that was your inspiration Jean but can't recall the star. I do remember the robot call Tron! Just remembered --- Michael Rennie.

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to BobD]

No Bob, the idea wasn't given me by any film I'd watched. If there is one I'd love to see it.

[BobD Volunteer in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Maybe when you wus a child. Spaceship lands in Central park NY and huge robot(Tron) gets out and stands silently. Michael Rennie is a handsome alien and has come to destroy humanity for bu**ering up Earth.He falls in love with a resident and changes his mind until the army start trying to destroy Tron and his spaceship. Can't remmeber how it ended.

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to BobD]

I think we first had a t.v. in 1955 or 56. I don't remember that film, but do remember the actor Michael Rennie, there have been lots with spaceships landing. We had to go to bed before 8pm and were only allowed to watch the children's programmes.

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to BobD]

BobD I've googled and found the film you mentioned, came out in 1951 The Day the Earth Stood Still:

youtube.com/watch?v=sVRptT6...(Not working as expected?)

[saulger in reply to BobD]

The Day the Earth Stood Still

[Rainfern in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Thank you Jean, what a wonderful story! Shall start packing my bags... 🤣

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Rainfern]

No you don't need to take anything. You wont need pills in Ayef because our hearts beat the way they do and that's what's required to live in their atmosphere and there it's called normal rhythm.

[Cha275rL in reply to jeanjeannie50]

You have definitely missed your vocation Jean. Brilliant 👍

[jeanjeannie50]

Did you cheat Paul?

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

No Jean. Whatever made you think that 😂😂😂

Paul

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Paulbounce]

And here was I full of admiration at how quickly you could write poems.

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Shhhhhh Jean. Let's keep it our secret

Paul

[TracyAdmin Partner]

Love it !!!

[Paulbounce in reply to TracyAdmin]

Oh TracyAmin, oh TracyAmin,

Your love for my poems is truly beamin',

You make me feel like a poetry king,

As if I could write anything!

My words, they flow like a babbling brook,

Or a chicken that's learned how to cook,

They're funny, witty, and sometimes quite odd,

But you seem to love them, oh my word!

So let me thank you, Tracy dear,

For giving my poems such a cheer,

Your kind words make my heart sing,

And inspire me to write even more zing!

Oh TracyAmin, oh TracyAmin,

I hope you know that you're a true gem,

For loving my poems with all your heart,

And giving me a poetic jumpstart!

[TracyAdmin Partner in reply to Paulbounce]

😂😂😂

[Buffafly]

It’s clever but it’s never going to be T S Elliot 🤔

[Paulbounce in reply to Buffafly]

Buffafly, Buffafly, quite the critique,

Your words sting my heart, my confidence they leak,

You say my poems are not as good as T S Elliot's,

Perhaps my rhymes are not quite as refined,

But I bet I could make you laugh, and that's no small find,

For poetry is not just about being highbrow,

It's about expressing oneself, and making others go wow.

My poems may not be perfect, but they're not to be missed,

For they come from my heart, and they tell my own story,

I'll still bask in my glory.

Paul (TS Elliot) Bounce

[Singwell in reply to Paulbounce]

That's actually rather profound.

[Paulbounce]

PS - I've gotta run as I need to get some work done! Might be back with another poem later. It's looking likely!

Paul

[jeanjeannie50]

Here's my hastily written new poem.

AF

There you are slumped comfortably.

Sat there quite happy and watching t.v.

You eye your big stomach and think but not say

It only looks that big when I sit this way.

You loosen you trousers, that were tight around your waist.

A happy release, but now hanker for something to taste

A chocolate bar, no there’s none in the house,

A packet of crisps, yes my longing they’ll douse.

What’s happening you cry as your heart, it protests.

It’s beating quite quickly and pounds in your chest.

Why has this started when I’m sat peacefully.

My heart rate’s quite scary and it so bothers me.

I think there’s a forum and it’s on Health Unlocked,

I’ll tell them all there, they’re bound to be shocked.

I was sat minding my own business and doing no harm.

It’s not much to want to have a heart rate that's calm.

Jean

[Buffafly in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Pam Ayres eat your heart out! (No pun intended 😂)

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

That's a great poem Jean. I think you are very talented indeed.

Paul

[Hylda2]

My heart is beating faster

And not because you’re near

The AF has just started

The first time in a year

I really thought I’d cracked it

The GP thought so too

But now I’ve got it back again

Oh what am I to do!!!

[Paulbounce in reply to Hylda2]

Thanks Hylda. Lovely poem.

Paul

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Hylda2]

Absolutely brilliant Hylda2.

[fibnum]

I wait and watch for you

As though you are from Amazon overdue.

I check out my heart rate,

hoping to forestall my fate.

I control my diet,

too afraid of new food to even try it.

I'm sleeping on my side

From sleep apnea to hide.

I don't know which pill really works,

Or from it, what side effect lurks.

I am eschewing any travel,

Fearing my health will unravel.

But this morning when I awoke,

I realized the sad joke.

I am in Afib all of the time

not only when you drop a dime.

So I've got some news,

It's a new path I choose.

Until you do ring the bell,

You can go straight to hell!

[Paulbounce in reply to fibnum]

Spot on Fibnum. That is a very posive poem. Thanks for sharing this.

Paul

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to fibnum]

That's great!

[Singwell in reply to fibnum]

Fabulous 👌

[Hidden]

Poet laureate I am not, so I’ve cheated by adding a slightly different version of a well known ditty which I hope will bring a smile……great post and even better replies!

youtu.be/tdtFVhAwECI(Not working as expected?)

[Paulbounce in reply to Hidden]

Thanks FJ for sharing that. Wow that Pixie Lott is quite nice. I better not watch the video again or my heartrate will go up!

Paul

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Hidden]

Love it John, not seen this before.

[fibnum]

Why did the guy not believe the doctor who told him his heart palpitations were all in his head?

Because he knew it was Afib!

I assume that is probably the world's oldest Afib joke! (Maybe it is the world's only Afib joke.)

Oh, sorry, we're doing poems...

"Roses are red, violets are blue.

As you battle it from January to December,

Be sure to remember,

Your Afib is hard on your family, too!"

[Paulbounce in reply to fibnum]

Hahaha Fibnum. I like the joke.

The old ones are always the best 🥴

Got anymore? If anyone has please post them - it's good for us afibbers to have a laugh and helps to relieve stress .

Paul

[Rainfern]

Thanks Paul for setting up a great thread! I'm doing a short online poetry course so it's been great fun reading everyone's rhymes - digital or otherwise. Clever stuff! Last week I wrote a poem about my childhood heart murmur (hole in heart) and a second about getting mended, age 15 and feeling "normal" whatever that means! Still waiting for inspiration on 3rd verse - the wonderful Afibs. Will post when I've found it!

[Paulbounce in reply to Rainfern]

Hi Rainfern. I look forward to reading your poem when you have time to post it.

Have a great day.

Paul

[Singwell]

Brilliant- love it.

[JOY2THEWORLD49]

My Poem

A.F is such fun

Or this just a pun

Days of high Heart Rate

Nights of low Heart rate

so confusing but meds restraint the day

and that's a start so it will stay

AF costs more travel insurance

to give us travellers reassurance.

Will it ever go away

With thyroid cancer they say

AF might revert as cancer gone

Does anyone agree that we are prone

to say goodbye to Af and agree

getting rid of AF is the key.

Celebrating AF's demise

Feeling for those who are very wise

trying ablations and everything else

they deserve to loose AF themselves.

JOY. 74. (NZ)

[Paulbounce in reply to JOY2THEWORLD49]

Thanks Joy - lovely poem.

Paul

[Rosemaryb1349]

B*gger off Afib and leave me aloneI have tried everything even an app on my phone

I'm done with you now so stop ringing my bell

And give us a break from this unending hell.

Ps I'm not really this angry but it helped with my attitude towards Afib. 😂

[Paulbounce in reply to Rosemaryb1349]

Nice one Rosemary. It's good to read you are taking the right attitude dealing with your afib. Keep it up.

Paul

[waveylines]

Oh Afib, Afib, Afib, how dare you visit me!

You visit me at bedtime, when Im snoozing fast asleep,

You visit me in the daytime, you even visit me at tea!

You never let me know ahead,

but just pop in whenever you fancy,

& ignore my requests to leave me alone. wheat happened to your manners? Id really like to know,

cos you are truly the rudest person I've ever known!

[Paulbounce in reply to waveylines]

Good poem Wavey. Afib ineed has no manners - he needs teaching a lession. I'll be ruder to him than he is to me 😏

Paul

[waveylines]

😂🤣 I'll buzz you next time Afib pops in!!

[spinningjenny]

Your heart has a rhythm it’s meant to keep,

It cheerfully beats and lets you sleep,

It can stick to this plan for week after week,

When all of a sudden for no reason at all it goes completely berserk leaving you breathless and dizzy and totally unable to function or concentrate on anything not even knitting or television and there’s no time to even remember punctuation

[Paulbounce in reply to spinningjenny]

Hi Jenny yes it is hard to add punction when you are in afib the knitting is not a problem as I don't knit but people have said I'm a big knit have a lovely day and I enjoyed your poem

Paul

[Cabot]

Thump thump thump goes my heart.

Settle down, I reply.

Thump thump thump. Sigh. Oh sigh.

[Paulbounce in reply to Cabot]

Hi Cabot. Sometimes afib can certainly make you sigh - no doubt at all. If your heart is thumping remember this.

All things must pass. Here's a song for you.

Paul

youtube.com/watch?v=QWV4pFV...(Not working as expected?)

[Cabot]

Thanks Paul! And thanks George!

[mjames1]

Didn't have the time/ For a very good rhyme/ But did my morning read/ With this morning's New York Times news feed/ And while I thought I knew AI/ It was just slice of the Pie/ Article by Kevin Roose/ Which unfortunately only rhymes with "Moose"/ Something everyone should read/ Something everyone should heed/ Just don't read before going to bed/ Hard to get out of your head/ AI is a very hot topic/ But don't get too myopic/ Remember Hal in 2001/ He was not a lot of fun.

[Paulbounce in reply to mjames1]

Clever poem James. Hal was short for Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer. Trying saying that 10 times very quickly. Shall we start a tongue twister thread heheheh.

Paul

[jenanco]

No App used lol

I’d love to have a Mini-Maze Cos Afib puts me in a daze. I can’t do nowt when it’s about, Can only shout and shout and shout. “Oh not again” I do despair, I clench my teeth and pull my hair. And then I take my Flecainide   And creep into my bed and hide  Until it goes away and then I’m back in sinus once again. I worry too I’m old and grey  And this darn thing won’t go away. It comes and goes relentlessly   With never a warning I can see. 

My EP is a lovely chap  He sees what I am getting at. Life quality is all my choice  And oh he has a lovely voice When pointing out the risk of stroke. He really is a super bloke. I understand we can’t agree. And am grateful he indulges me. I showed him pictures of my clots So he could see that I bleed lots. He understands I bleed so much  That I can’t take such awful stuff  With dripping blood from mouth and teeth  That makes me shudder as I speak. I tried so hard but all in vain, It really is an awful pain. And I admit to all of you that anticoags are taboo For me.

I’m planning to book privately. To get advice so I can see If I’m a suitable candidate. And then I know I’ll have to wait Because I can’t afford to pay. But maybe there will come a day   For NHS to come up trumps  And help me get out of the dumps. So even though I’m past my prime  I hope that there may still be time. So fingers crossed, the dye is cast A Mini-Maze might come at last,

Written by Jenny Phillips

[Paulbounce in reply to jenanco]

Hi Jenny. What a great poem. I really enjoyed reading that with my morning coffee. Thanks for sharing it.

Paul

[fibnum]

I like to dine out wearing a bib,

Climb up high to rig a jib,

Stop my writing to fill a nib,

Have a debate with my older sib,

Sing to my granddaughter in her crib,

Hit the streets for women's lib,

Chug a can of Mr. Pibb,

Write a clever, cynical squib,

Poke my grandson in his rib,

Cast my line and watch it dib...

But I don't like this damned Afib!

[Paulbounce in reply to fibnum]

Hahaha Fibnum. That's a 10 out of 10 poem and has made me laugh. Nice one.

Paul