thank you for your understanding comments

[Ewloe]

Thank you for replying to the post

does anyone else recognise this journey

we are all on our individual journeys and it’s nice we have others who understand the route.

[Singwell]

I didn't respond earlier but I SO resonate with the post and the responses. For many of us the anxiety we feel as a result of developing AF and its unexpected behaviour patterns, is worse than the AF itself. Once I'd worked that out (which took me a while), I began to find out more about anxiety itself. I discovered I've been anxious most of my life - despite being a high achiever with an outwardly successful career. What I called 'being a worrier' was actually hypervigilance and boy did that kick in when I developed AF! Add to that a global pandemic (the two pretty much coincided for me)and that's a powerful cocktail. I had a really rough 20 months. Then I began to dig in to what anxiety itself might be. This forum was helping me understand AF better, and also how to navigate the medical system (which alas can often be unhelpful). This forum also felt like a safe place to voice my fears and concerns and I always got comfort even from the funny answers.

Now I'm.better at 'seeing anxiety' when it comes along. "Oh - that's my anxious voice kicking in - let's pay attention and see what we can do." I use breathing and 'tuning in' techniques to pay attention and then usually it reduced sufficiently that I can get on with something that I'd like to do- walk around the garden - eat some chocolate- make supper - sing!

And there's been pluses too. I understand myself better. It's made me more compassionate. I appreciate my life and the good things in it more. I care for myself more. Apparently my other half also likes this version of me better.

I'd rather be without AF, but the journey has been interesting, many things gained, and I can live with it.

Just hijacked your post I think 🤔. Hope it's useful for others!

[Threecats in reply to Singwell]

Great post Singwell! Brilliant to turn a negative into a positive, as you’re doing.

[Ppiman]

You have a lot on your plate and feeling anxious is going to add to your burden. Have you asked your GP whether a few diazepam tablets might be safe enough to use as and when needed? I know they aren't a long-term answer, and they do come with risks for some people who misuse them, but one taken now and again does seem to help. Feeling overwhelmed by what life brings is such an unpleasant feeling to cope with especially when, like you, you've looked after yourself so very well. To make things worse, anxiety is felt differently by each of us, it seems, making it hard to explain and understand.

Steve

[bassets]

Singwell has put it in a nutshell