Very Scared

[Grigbey56]

I have to admit that I have avoided this forum because I am still so scared of my condition. I have my first Cardiologist appointment on Thursday and I am absolutely terrified of what will happen and feel like a complete coward. I have possible heart failure of which afib is only one symptom. I had other vague symptoms for a long time but was too scared to properly see the doctor about them. I feel so depressed, lonely and scared, my nervousness is probably going to kill me in the end. I am so sorry to myself and my family.

[CDreamer]

Hi Grigbey and welcome.

So sorry that you are so paralysed by your fear that your haven’t taken action earlier. May I ask what you think heart failure means?

My husband was considered to be in mild heart failure Feb 2019 but after investigations and treatment is now doing really well and feeling much better than he has done for several years.

The fear of the known is far easier to cope with, plan for and overcome than fear of the unknown.

I do hope that you take someone with you or have someone listening as what sometimes happens is that you will only hear the bad stuff and not what needs to happen to help. Prepare for you consultation - have specific questions to ask and take notes of the answers because you will forget as it’s not easy to remember everything that is said.

Remember that breath and slow even breathing is everything and very calming - focus on breath, breathing long, slow and deep - LSD.

I am sure you will get a lot of helpful replies from people who feel or remember feeling similar and hope that something will help you.

[Singwell in reply to CDreamer]

Lovely response.

[Singwell]

Do not blame yourself! I think lots of us go through this scenario of "what did I do to cause this?" Make a list of questions to ask your cardiologist, so you feel prepared and more in control. I only have AF and highish Blood Pressure but if you have something structural with your heart you need to know. Treatments are different. On this forum there will be someone like you who's been through similar experiences. That's what the forum is for. My opinion - by joining you've taken the first step to taking charge of your condition. 👍🤞

[Hidden]

Hi Grigbey, it’s great to hear that you are soon to see a Cardiologist. I know you have sent several posts previously expressing your fears but you must try and see this appointment as an opportunity to get control of your fears. Make sure you have written down all the issues which are worrying you and if it’s possible, have someone with you, even if you have to declare them as a carer, because you will not remember everything that is said. As CD says, heart failure is term which sounds far worse than it often is in reality.

Look upon this appointment as an opportunity and make the most of it, please let us know how you get on. It would be great if we got some positive news from you......

[bassets]

Glad you've felt able to comment here. I think Flapjack and Cdreamer are right. You will be able to face things you know better, and do either write down what your cardiologist says or have someone listen if it's a phone consultation. Fear will magnify things to such an extent it's hard to concentrate. We've all been there. Good luck and let us know?

[Hammerhead56 in reply to bassets]

Thanks for caring, my biggest fear is fear itself. I have always been very nervous about health issues especially my heart and this is my perfect nightmare. This is what stopped me from seeing a doctor before even though I had an idea something wasn't right. I just hope I can get through this and emerge a stronger person but right now I am terrified.

[bassets in reply to Hammerhead56]

Perhaps you could try mindfulness, perhaps headspace? This has helped me

[Hammerhead56]

BTW hammerhead and grigbey are both me, I can't log on my tablet with grigbey

[secondtry]

Most of us here freely admit we were scared at the outset and that things are likely to get much better later. For your first cardiologist visit take a list of your top 3 questions and come away with clear answers...that will help. Good luck.

[irene75359]

Grigbey, I know the feeling of wanting to shut the world out to quieten the voices in your head and pretend that everything is fine. But it doesn't work, well it didn't for me. And you know that there is something wrong, and by seeing the cardiologist you are on the road to a treatment plan. Heart failure is such a emotive depressing term but as CDreamer has pointed out, it may only be a temporary thing that will be greatly improved with the right treatment. I will be thinking of you and your visit with the cardiologist, please come back and let us know how you get on.